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Original poster

Me, Myself and I

135 replies

niadainud · 22/07/2025 15:58

For the love of Lindley Murray, please can people stop using "myself" and "I" when they actually mean "me"?

"Myself and DP..." is never correct (at least I can't think of an example when it would be correct to begin a sentence in this way) and just sounds pretentious. "Myself" is a reflexive pronoun, or used for emphasis: "I hurt myself" or "I wouldn't do it like that myself".

"I" is for when you are the subject of the sentence (i.e. you are the one doing it): for example, "DP and I like to go dogging at the weekend."

"He came dogging with my DP and I" is wrong as "I" is being erroneously used as an object pronoun in that example.

In short, "me" is not a dirty word, even if "dogging" is.

Sorry, I know some people hate grammar threads that stray outside Pedants' Corner and I fully expect to be jumped on for any minor solecism I may have inadvertently committed, but I'm running out of patience with this one.

Oh, and while I'm at it, you're most probably "lying", not "laying", unless you are some sort of bird.

OP posts:
Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 22:05

waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:45

Yes, but you aren't everyone. People do mimic what they hear.

Of course; that's how we learn to speak. But I would have expected someone who did a language degree at Cambridge (and who had presumably been successful in language A-levels prior to that) to be fairly proficient at grammar and not make a fairly basic mistake.

OP posts:
newrubylane · 22/07/2025 22:02

I had to stop watching The Apprentice because of all the myselfing.

waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:55

I questioned my use of bear with me recently. I have seen bare so often that I had genuine doubt!

m00rfarm · 22/07/2025 21:50

HotCrossBunplease · 22/07/2025 21:29

I dislike the incorrect use of “myself” when people are trying to sound “formal” - it’s very Estate Agent. And I agree with you that people are afraid to say “me”.

However I am warning you now that these threads inevitably entail at least one Irish person explaining that “myself” in a non-reflexive usage is very standard Hiberno-English (see also they way Irish people use “yourself”). It’s a fair point and rude to accuse them of speaking incorrectly.

I sell houses for a living. I don't use "myself". Neither do any of my colleagues. You don't have to be illiterate to sell houses. You don't have to be rude to post on Mumsnet.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:50

FlappyThing · 22/07/2025 21:43

My husband says myself in a blackboard scrapingly awful way.
“Would you like to join myself on the trip?”
”It will be myself coming to the party.”
”Who ate the pies? That would be myself.”
He DOESN’T BELIEVE ME that it is better to use “me” and thinks it sounds very courteous and formal.

So this is unironic?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 22/07/2025 21:49

niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:43

Let me off with what, exactly?

Show quote history

Looking over my glasses sternly and maybe taking you to task over a stray comma? Like I say, watching football, not taking this as seriously as you!

waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:49

Newsreaders mispronounce words & some of the online news articles don't even make sense so it's inevitable really.

NotrialNodeal · 22/07/2025 21:48

niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:28

It depends how you use it, I guess, but I don't have any issue with accents. Where are you from?

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Merseyside.

HotCrossBunplease · 22/07/2025 21:46

@FlappyThing he must be extremely good in bed to keep you married to him! 😀

guestusername · 22/07/2025 21:46

in my last job I used to have to speak to a lot of people on the phone and I’d inevitably get the “I phoned yourself” or “I sent yourself an email” and it used to raise my rage level something chronic so I would turn it back on them and say something like “well myself did leave a message for yourself to call myself back” or “myself has not seen the email yet”, purely just to make them hear themselves back and hear just how ridiculous they sounded.

I think it sounds much, much worse with a thick West Country accent!

waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:45

Yes, but you aren't everyone. People do mimic what they hear.

FlappyThing · 22/07/2025 21:43

My husband says myself in a blackboard scrapingly awful way.
“Would you like to join myself on the trip?”
”It will be myself coming to the party.”
”Who ate the pies? That would be myself.”
He DOESN’T BELIEVE ME that it is better to use “me” and thinks it sounds very courteous and formal.

PurpleChrayn · 22/07/2025 21:43

I agree. I’m also laughing at your examples!

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:43

BitOutOfPractice · 22/07/2025 21:41

I really can't be arsed (watching football) and I'm prepared to let you off for using “solecism”. 😘

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Let me off with what, exactly?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 22/07/2025 21:41

niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:30

Knock yourself out.

Show quote history

I really can't be arsed (watching football) and I'm prepared to let you off for using “solecism”. 😘

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:40

waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:36

I was really surprised to hear it used incorrectly recently by someone who has a languages degree from Cambridge.

It's not surprising that people pick up on how others say things.

I guess, but I wouldn't suddenly start saying "would of" or "I done" or "I had ran", no matter how many times I heard other people say them.

OP posts:
waveywave · 22/07/2025 21:36

I was really surprised to hear it used incorrectly recently by someone who has a languages degree from Cambridge.

It's not surprising that people pick up on how others say things.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:34

HotCrossBunplease · 22/07/2025 21:29

I dislike the incorrect use of “myself” when people are trying to sound “formal” - it’s very Estate Agent. And I agree with you that people are afraid to say “me”.

However I am warning you now that these threads inevitably entail at least one Irish person explaining that “myself” in a non-reflexive usage is very standard Hiberno-English (see also they way Irish people use “yourself”). It’s a fair point and rude to accuse them of speaking incorrectly.

It is indeed a fair point.

It's not up to me to declare what's acceptable in another dialect, obviously, but I don't think the Hiberno-English usage conveys the same degree of pomposity as what I'm describing.

OP posts:
Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:30

BitOutOfPractice · 22/07/2025 21:24

Yeah, op, with love, unless you’re posting this kind of stuff in pedants’ corner, prepare to have your SPAG torn apart. I could start if you like.

Knock yourself out.

OP posts:
Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:29

HÆLTHEPAIN · 22/07/2025 21:27

It’s used a lot by grifters influencers I’ve noticed. Maybe they think it makes ‘themselves’ sound more credible.

Whereas they actually sound like an adolescent estate agent.

OP posts:
HotCrossBunplease · 22/07/2025 21:29

I dislike the incorrect use of “myself” when people are trying to sound “formal” - it’s very Estate Agent. And I agree with you that people are afraid to say “me”.

However I am warning you now that these threads inevitably entail at least one Irish person explaining that “myself” in a non-reflexive usage is very standard Hiberno-English (see also they way Irish people use “yourself”). It’s a fair point and rude to accuse them of speaking incorrectly.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 21:28

NotrialNodeal · 22/07/2025 21:24

I say 'meself' OP. How does that make you feel?

It depends how you use it, I guess, but I don't have any issue with accents. Where are you from?

OP posts:
HÆLTHEPAIN · 22/07/2025 21:27

It’s used a lot by grifters influencers I’ve noticed. Maybe they think it makes ‘themselves’ sound more credible.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/07/2025 21:24

Yeah, op, with love, unless you’re posting this kind of stuff in pedants’ corner, prepare to have your SPAG torn apart. I could start if you like.

NotrialNodeal · 22/07/2025 21:24

I say 'meself' OP. How does that make you feel?

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