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Original poster

Me, Myself and I

135 replies

niadainud · 22/07/2025 15:58

For the love of Lindley Murray, please can people stop using "myself" and "I" when they actually mean "me"?

"Myself and DP..." is never correct (at least I can't think of an example when it would be correct to begin a sentence in this way) and just sounds pretentious. "Myself" is a reflexive pronoun, or used for emphasis: "I hurt myself" or "I wouldn't do it like that myself".

"I" is for when you are the subject of the sentence (i.e. you are the one doing it): for example, "DP and I like to go dogging at the weekend."

"He came dogging with my DP and I" is wrong as "I" is being erroneously used as an object pronoun in that example.

In short, "me" is not a dirty word, even if "dogging" is.

Sorry, I know some people hate grammar threads that stray outside Pedants' Corner and I fully expect to be jumped on for any minor solecism I may have inadvertently committed, but I'm running out of patience with this one.

Oh, and while I'm at it, you're most probably "lying", not "laying", unless you are some sort of bird.

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 23/07/2025 09:30

"Myself" particularly during episodes of The Apprentice. Arrrrrrgh!

QueenMummyTheFirst · 23/07/2025 09:29

QueenMummyTheFirst · 23/07/2025 09:27

This is a stupid question, and not to derail, but should it actually be:
Please see Brenda and my paper
Or
Please see Brenda's and my paper
?
Neither sound good. I'd probably reword it to something like "Please see the paper by Brenda and me (myself? 😉)". But one of the above must also be correct, I think.
I'm never quite sure, even though I am generally pretty good with grammar!

Or "mine and Brenda's paper". That sounds better, I think. But "Brenda's and mine paper" doesn't work at all.

Oh man, I've forgotten how to speak!

QueenMummyTheFirst · 23/07/2025 09:27

This is a stupid question, and not to derail, but should it actually be:
Please see Brenda and my paper
Or
Please see Brenda's and my paper
?
Neither sound good. I'd probably reword it to something like "Please see the paper by Brenda and me (myself? 😉)". But one of the above must also be correct, I think.
I'm never quite sure, even though I am generally pretty good with grammar!

SchnizelVonKrumm · 23/07/2025 08:56

whitewinespritzerandastraw · 23/07/2025 08:51

Should it be Rob and me though?

As opposed to me and Rob?

Show quote history

It should be "Rob and me" by convention, but in that sentence "me and Rob" is still gramatically OK and better than "Rob and I".

whitewinespritzerandastraw · 23/07/2025 08:51

CruCru · 23/07/2025 08:47

The worst is when you say it correctly “When you are finished with that, please pass it along to me and Rob” and someone corrects you: “Actually, it should be “… pass it along to Rob and I””. Argh!!! No, no it shouldn’t.

Should it be Rob and me though?

As opposed to me and Rob?

whitewinespritzerandastraw · 23/07/2025 08:50

He came dogging with DP and I

😂 😂 😂

But yes, agree with your overall point.

CruCru · 23/07/2025 08:47

The worst is when you say it correctly “When you are finished with that, please pass it along to me and Rob” and someone corrects you: “Actually, it should be “… pass it along to Rob and I””. Argh!!! No, no it shouldn’t.

Original poster
niadainud · 23/07/2025 08:24

GripGetter · 22/07/2025 23:51

I thought there was no lying any more? These days it's all "gaslighting", whether the person using the term understands it or not.

Lying as in lying down, not fibbing.

OP posts:
GripGetter · 22/07/2025 23:51

I thought there was no lying any more? These days it's all "gaslighting", whether the person using the term understands it or not.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 23:29

outingouting · 22/07/2025 23:22

I told a junior colleague it was incorrect to say: “please see attached Brenda and I’s paper”

She has ignored me and now her peers seem to use “I’s” in the same way.

It doesn’t even sound right - you would never say that aloud. maddening.

I have heard it said aloud, but that certainly doesn't make it correct!

I do think English is very clumsy when it comes to such constructions.

OP posts:
outingouting · 22/07/2025 23:22

I told a junior colleague it was incorrect to say: “please see attached Brenda and I’s paper”

She has ignored me and now her peers seem to use “I’s” in the same way.

It doesn’t even sound right - you would never say that aloud. maddening.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 23:15

belleager · 22/07/2025 22:57

Were they Irish (heritage)?

Even in standard English I can think of sentences that would start "Myself and my husband", but admittedly only for fun. "Myself and my husband I can see retiring at 60, but not our children's generation".

Anyway, perhaps because I'm Irish and the usage is more widespread (and reflects usage in the Irish language), I don't mind this one at all.

Show quote history

No, the person wasn't Irish, and in fact they used "I" erroneously, not "myself".

I think your example just about works, although it would seem more natural (to me) to start the sentence with, "I can see myself and my husband..." as we tend to put the pronoun(s) at the beginning in English..

OP posts:
Lardychops · 22/07/2025 23:00

I have had to stop watching the BBC series ‘Traitors’ which was my guilty pleasure for this very reason.
Drives ‘myself’ fucking potty!!!!

belleager · 22/07/2025 23:00

Always makes me think of Maureen O'Hara (and my grandparents of the same generation)

Me, Myself and I
Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 22/07/2025 22:58

My English teacher colleague always says things like "Me and Jack went on holiday". 🤢

belleager · 22/07/2025 22:57

niadainud · 22/07/2025 20:43

I was really surprised to hear it used incorrectly recently by someone who has a languages degree from Cambridge.

Show quote history

Were they Irish (heritage)?

Even in standard English I can think of sentences that would start "Myself and my husband", but admittedly only for fun. "Myself and my husband I can see retiring at 60, but not our children's generation".

Anyway, perhaps because I'm Irish and the usage is more widespread (and reflects usage in the Irish language), I don't mind this one at all.

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 22:44

Renamed · 22/07/2025 22:29

Wasn’t a criticism, sorry if it came across like that. It is a great song though

No, not at all!

OP posts:
Thunderdcc · 22/07/2025 22:34

Someone clever told me you should use me / I if the sentence would still make sense without the other person.

DH and I went ... because you would not say Me went or myself went

He came with DH and me ... because you would not say with I. Or with myself.

I realise this rule is only any use if you have a natural aversion to using myself. Otherwise you would just shoehorn it in anyway.

Renamed · 22/07/2025 22:29

Wasn’t a criticism, sorry if it came across like that. It is a great song though

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 22:18

Renamed · 22/07/2025 22:17

I clicked on this thread hoping that it would actually be about the lovely song, sung by Billie Holiday with Lester Young:

Me, myself and I
Are all in love with you
We all think you’re wonderful, we do
Me myself and I
Have just one point of view
We all think there’s no one else like you
It can’t be denied dear
You’ve brought the sun to us
We’d be satisfied dear
If you belonged to one of us
So if you pass me by
Three hearts will break in two
For me, myself and I
Are all in love with you

Sorry to disappoint, but thanks for sharing the lyrics. I'll go and listen to it.

OP posts:
Renamed · 22/07/2025 22:17

I clicked on this thread hoping that it would actually be about the lovely song, sung by Billie Holiday with Lester Young:

Me, myself and I
Are all in love with you
We all think you’re wonderful, we do
Me myself and I
Have just one point of view
We all think there’s no one else like you
It can’t be denied dear
You’ve brought the sun to us
We’d be satisfied dear
If you belonged to one of us
So if you pass me by
Three hearts will break in two
For me, myself and I
Are all in love with you

Original poster
niadainud · 22/07/2025 22:13

guestusername · 22/07/2025 22:08

I blame The Apprentice entirely for people using the speaker when talking on their phones when out and about

Edited
Show quote history

God, yes. And holding the phone horizontally. What's that all about?

OP posts:
Renamed · 22/07/2025 22:10

FlappyThing · 22/07/2025 21:43

My husband says myself in a blackboard scrapingly awful way.
“Would you like to join myself on the trip?”
”It will be myself coming to the party.”
”Who ate the pies? That would be myself.”
He DOESN’T BELIEVE ME that it is better to use “me” and thinks it sounds very courteous and formal.

Uurgh

guestusername · 22/07/2025 22:08

newrubylane · 22/07/2025 22:02

I had to stop watching The Apprentice because of all the myselfing.

I blame The Apprentice entirely for people using the speaker when talking on their phones when out and about

waveywave · 22/07/2025 22:07

That wouldn't shock me tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️