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Original poster

Me, Myself and I

135 replies

niadainud · 22/07/2025 15:58

For the love of Lindley Murray, please can people stop using "myself" and "I" when they actually mean "me"?

"Myself and DP..." is never correct (at least I can't think of an example when it would be correct to begin a sentence in this way) and just sounds pretentious. "Myself" is a reflexive pronoun, or used for emphasis: "I hurt myself" or "I wouldn't do it like that myself".

"I" is for when you are the subject of the sentence (i.e. you are the one doing it): for example, "DP and I like to go dogging at the weekend."

"He came dogging with my DP and I" is wrong as "I" is being erroneously used as an object pronoun in that example.

In short, "me" is not a dirty word, even if "dogging" is.

Sorry, I know some people hate grammar threads that stray outside Pedants' Corner and I fully expect to be jumped on for any minor solecism I may have inadvertently committed, but I'm running out of patience with this one.

Oh, and while I'm at it, you're most probably "lying", not "laying", unless you are some sort of bird.

OP posts:
SchnizelVonKrumm · 23/07/2025 14:15

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 14:09

Not sad for caring. But unreasonable and irritating for foisting pedantic views on those of us who don't care. We're happy not knowing. Leave us be.

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No one forced you to read the thread. People can post about things they find irritating 🙄

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 14:09

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 13:49

But presumably you were implying that people are sad if they care about this kind of thing? It came across that way to me, anyway.

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Not sad for caring. But unreasonable and irritating for foisting pedantic views on those of us who don't care. We're happy not knowing. Leave us be.

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 13:49

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 11:46

She was talking about people who know how to use it correctly. I said the rest of us (who don't know how to use it correctly) couldn't care less. I never said the majority.

I know that's being pedantic pointing that out so now I'm REALLY torn. 🤣

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But presumably you were implying that people are sad if they care about this kind of thing? It came across that way to me, anyway.

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 11:46

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 10:57

Hmm, the voting on this thread doesn't seem to be bearing that out...

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She was talking about people who know how to use it correctly. I said the rest of us (who don't know how to use it correctly) couldn't care less. I never said the majority.

I know that's being pedantic pointing that out so now I'm REALLY torn. 🤣

Original poster
niadainud · 23/07/2025 11:31

LadySuzanne · 23/07/2025 10:36

Doesn't surprise me. There is a professor emeritus on Twitter/X who uses "alot".

I share your discomfort.

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Jeez.

OP posts:
Original poster
niadainud · 23/07/2025 11:27

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 10:07

And the rest of us couldn't give a shit so you're wasting your time. Back in your corner!!

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Well that's fine, but a lot of people obviously do care, otherwise they wouldn't be using "myself" (incorrectly) in the first place in an effort to sound more posh/formal/"correct".

So statistically there must be some people out there who care how they come across but who don't realise they're doing the exact opposite of what they intend.

OP posts:
MercyChant66 · 23/07/2025 11:24

niadainud · 23/07/2025 08:24

Lying as in lying down, not fibbing.

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Oh God, I hate the laying/lying thing - 'I was just laying on the bed...' Yuk. Everyone seems to misuse it these days. I keep being told that it's because I'm Scottish but it really isn't. It's because I'm right.

Fifthtimelucky · 23/07/2025 11:23

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 10:03

Ugh, couldn't agree more. With 'and I', it's what's known as a hypercorrection - people get it drummed into them at school that you never say 'me and...', you always say '...and I', so they always say '...and I', even when it's wrong. For some reason English grammar teaching never seems to address it!

I agree with this. I have a friend who I have known for 60 years (since the beginning of primary school). She used to be a teacher.

A few years ago she said something like “He gave it to David and I”. I jokingly corrected her and she very earnestly assured me that I was wrong and asked didn’t I remember Miss X, our headmistress, always correcting “David and me” to “David and I”?

I explained the difference but I’m not sure she was convinced as she still gets it wrong!

Original poster
niadainud · 23/07/2025 11:21

QueenMummyTheFirst · 23/07/2025 09:59

I'd say "Sit yourself down", in Yorkshire.
But then again, we've established that I might not be the best person to listen to on this!

That's combining various things, I think: dialect, reflexive and imperative. I don't have a problem with any of those myself. 😉

OP posts:
Original poster
niadainud · 23/07/2025 11:17

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 23/07/2025 09:49

Or, worse, gaslit! As in, I was gaslit. Nope. That's something to do with gas lamps.

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Of course it's to do with gas lamps. That's where the expression comes from (the film "Gaslight" with Ingrid Bergman).

OP posts:
SchnizelVonKrumm · 23/07/2025 11:11

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/07/2025 11:00

Ah - good point. I probably would have guessed at the right one but I wouldn't know why 'mine' wasn't right.

Also, love your username; whenever I see a dachshund I give my 4yo a nudge and point "A schnizel von krumm!"

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My 5yo is always on the lookout for our local Muffin McLay! 😁🐶

weareallcats · 23/07/2025 11:05

niadainud · 22/07/2025 22:13

God, yes. And holding the phone horizontally. What's that all about?

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Think Kirstie Allsop is also partly responsible for this!

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/07/2025 11:02

FlappyThing · 22/07/2025 21:43

My husband says myself in a blackboard scrapingly awful way.
“Would you like to join myself on the trip?”
”It will be myself coming to the party.”
”Who ate the pies? That would be myself.”
He DOESN’T BELIEVE ME that it is better to use “me” and thinks it sounds very courteous and formal.

Urgh. LTB!

Seymour5 · 23/07/2025 11:00

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 10:03

Ugh, couldn't agree more. With 'and I', it's what's known as a hypercorrection - people get it drummed into them at school that you never say 'me and...', you always say '...and I', so they always say '...and I', even when it's wrong. For some reason English grammar teaching never seems to address it!

This. ⬆️

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/07/2025 11:00

SchnizelVonKrumm · 23/07/2025 09:56

Brenda's and my paper. Definitely not mine and Brenda's paper! You wouldn't say mine paper, would you?

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Ah - good point. I probably would have guessed at the right one but I wouldn't know why 'mine' wasn't right.

Also, love your username; whenever I see a dachshund I give my 4yo a nudge and point "A schnizel von krumm!"

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 10:57

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 10:07

And the rest of us couldn't give a shit so you're wasting your time. Back in your corner!!

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Hmm, the voting on this thread doesn't seem to be bearing that out...

thepastinsidethepresent · 23/07/2025 10:56

user1492809438 · 23/07/2025 10:51

Two words to add to the pile; brought and bought. Using the wrong one sets my teeth on edge.

God yes, I've just this minute read a thread where the OP misuses this.

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/07/2025 10:53

humblebea · 22/07/2025 20:56

I really enjoyed reading that op.

Me too!

user1492809438 · 23/07/2025 10:51

Two words to add to the pile; brought and bought. Using the wrong one sets my teeth on edge.

PandaCwtch · 23/07/2025 10:40

LadySuzanne · 23/07/2025 10:36

Doesn't surprise me. There is a professor emeritus on Twitter/X who uses "alot".

I share your discomfort.

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I'm entirely unable to read the non-word "alot" without thinking of this Hyperbole and a Half: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechani...

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

LadySuzanne · 23/07/2025 10:36

niadainud · 22/07/2025 20:43

I was really surprised to hear it used incorrectly recently by someone who has a languages degree from Cambridge.

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Doesn't surprise me. There is a professor emeritus on Twitter/X who uses "alot".

I share your discomfort.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 23/07/2025 10:35

FarmGirl78 · 23/07/2025 10:07

And the rest of us couldn't give a shit so you're wasting your time. Back in your corner!!

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And yet here you are...

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/07/2025 10:25

I’ve often wanted to post about the difference between your and you’re, too.
So for anyone unsure, ‘your’ means ‘belonging to you’ and ‘you’re’ is short for ‘you are’. Not at all difficult, is it?

Phew, I feel better now.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/07/2025 10:21

TY78910 · 22/07/2025 20:34

You probably want to move this to Pedants’ Corner. You’ll get a lot of bite there

What is the point of putting it where only pedants will see it?

Putting it on the main forum may just mean that someone will get the message, though I’m not holding my breath.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 23/07/2025 10:18

This had driven me mad for decades.