Unhappy at my DP for his actions at DS christening

Exactly, you as mum get to cuddle them all the time, christenings are a good time for others to get to see them.

If you have been engaged 4 times, how many times have you been married?

I still think a better photographer would have picked up on the situation if there were photos of their mothers present & 1 side asked for shots including them. So fundamentally it's on them not the partner/in laws to "put the idea in her mind" but the photographer to read the situation & offer

My dd's great uncle highjacked my dd for the entire christening, I thought it was lovely and she had the time of her life

This happened to me at my sons christening. My MIL took my son from me and refused to let me hold him when he was screaming. In my house, in front of everyone. I remember so clearly thinking if I do not stand up to this woman now I never will and I literally grabbed him from her arms, the room went silent and my son stopped crying. I do not regret my actions but I was so cross at that point. They possibly sense your reluctance to stand your ground and people pleasing but it's your baby so don't be afraid to be assertive. If they or your partner don't like it tough shit. I know from my experience i put some distance/boundaires up and since then (2 years ago) I have had no issues. Up until that point it was constant taking the children, undermining me etc. It can be very waring and plays on your mind, but it won't play on theirs!
Sorry for the loss of your mother, I'm sure it was an emotional day. Your partner needs to man up, leave him in doubt you will not accept this behaviour. Don't be hard on yourself xx

Get a grip OP. If you wanted certain photos you should have said. Babies get passed around at christenings. And crying for days over such a trivial thing is abnormal .

From your posts, OP, you don't sound like a people pleaser. You criticise other people for not thinking of you all the time and you boast that you always consider others. Only, your Fiance too has lost his mother recently as has your SIL. You are not overly charitable towards her. It might be worth thinking about how your bereaved SIL feels.

Being engaged four times (and now five) does sound a bit funny. It was a running joke on Gavin and Stacey.

And that is the way they will always be and your fiance will always side with them or passively let them. If that is the life you want then crack on but if not something has to change and its unlikely to be them. Will you as a self proclaimed people pleaser be able to continually hold your boundaries with no support? Think carefully about what you decide.

Sorry for your loss, OP.

it sounds like your fiancé has form for drinking too much, failing to put you first and putting you down, so I don’t blame you for not wanting a wedding any time soon.

He needs to understand that he hurt you and shouldn’t do it again. If he doesn’t get this then it’s hard to see further commitment.

“Mummy’s being mean”
Did your SiL really say that?
As well as your DPs horrible comment, do you really want to be related to this family, who seem unable to be nice or even basically respectful?

Make it 5 times.

Personally, I think ending another engagement would be the way to go.

I think you need to figure out why you keep picking men who treat you poorly.

My grandmother was a single mother of a kid and got pregnant from his fiance. He made that kind of comment about her in the pub, guess what? She ended being a single mother of two kids with different dad, because told him to f off.
Years after she meet my grandad. Every time she told me this story I felt so proud of her.
Regarding the photos, their family don't bother much about you I suppose.

Just get your family and friends to drop in for a special photo session with DS. Put him in the same outfit and enjoy the get-together. put them in an album together with some photos of your mum.

No need to ask DP's side or friends. This is just a re-run.

Then don't marry him: he sounds horrid.

Sorry but you sound hard work and to be honest off you’ve been on his case for the full event probably had enough and shut you up with comment

but do think the comments was out of order

People pleasing is as much a part of the drama triangle as other roles. People people-please to meet their own needs (as I say this as a major people-pleaser). For me, I think it’s about feeling in control and safe if other people aren’t disappointed in me. You’ve got to work out what’s in it for you to people-please to see how easy it is to actually stop.

I'd habe taken my child back - tbh wanting tjem to have him "interactions" woth all relatives just seems plain daft. It's not fair on a young child to keep passing them round for photo opportunities !

I'm not actually religious but agree with everything you have said. This supposed whole 'christening' shebang just sounds incredibly shallow to me. All the emphasis on who was in which photo with whom and who held the baby longest? The petty passive aggressiveness, followed by the days of crying afterwards? Do adults really behave like this?

As for the having been already engaged 4 times, somehow I am not surprised. Being engaged but with no wedding date set doesn't mean a thing. It's a non-state of being. An empty gesture. All the emphasis is on the ring, the hype and the tawdry photos on social media, no doubt.

Same with the totally misplaced fear about her DP's behaviour on their wedding day (if there ever is one). Yet again, stressing about the superficial, how it will 'look' with not a single thought about, you know, the actual marriage.

No one is showing you any nastiness! Not one person.

I’d be thrilled to have had 5 men desperate to marry me! Hold your head up high OP, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You are clearly a catch and your future grandchildren will love this story.

Her mother and mother in law are both dead. There were photographs of them at the event that were used. So, pictures of the grandmothers included in photographs of the baby. That's how I understand it.