To not want to host dh's brother's family alone

Since money isn’t an issue so, then do everything to simplify things. Instead of cooking, eat dinner out/takeaway, or buy a nice dinner from a good delicatessen. Fill the fridge with lunch and breakfast bits and tell your guests to help themselves.

Obviously, your DH should help you or do the shopping for the above himself. Same with getting the guest room ready.

If you’ve plans already made, then tell your guests that you’ll be out during that time, etc.

Sometimes, with families we have to do things we’d prefer not to but if it’s a once-off type thing, it’s not the end of the world. It would be different though if you have a DH that doesn’t do anything around the house/cooking, etc - in this case I wouldn’t put much/any effort into hosting and tell your DH they are his guests, not yours.

He owes you a week holiday. Very self indulgent hobby he chose; having multiple people pandering to him to accommodate his swanning off to play an instrument.
Tell him to sort the spare bedroom and meal planning and food shopping, he has no excuse to not do this.

He can choose to have people in the house But does not get to dictate your time.

'your home is their home too' -this is incorrect and just weird 😄.

@Plumedenom I’d be going away for the weekend (with the kids) if he sprung that on me.

Oh god, sounds horrible. Can you take baby somewhere else for the weekend and tell him that the place had better be immaculate when you get back?

Are they coming to support your DH? Then it shouldn't be costing them. He's right that if you put your parents up, his family also gets to stay. The same argument applies to your parents, you are all 40+ and not poor. However in my world you don't host family, they get free bed space, but everything else is shared, or separate.

Can you see it as a chance for your kids to get to spend some time with their auny, uncle and cousin - like a sleep over?

Having your neice on the sofa will be a pain - why not put her in one of your kids rooms? Or if that won't work, one of your kids gets the small spare room amd your inlaws stay in their room.

We had family who lived abroad when I was a kid and they used to stay with us for a couple of weeks - we'd swap rooms around to make sure there was room for everyone, and if anyone had to sleep on the sofa, it was my teenage brother.

It's only one weekend, I think you might be a bit pissed off that you've been carrying the parenting load for the last few weeks.

I think you need to suck this up for your husband and your kids - the inlaws are their family, your home is their home too, and they should be able to have people to stay over.

My -now ex but much later- , did this to me very early on in the relationship and I did it but made it very clear it was never to happen again, and it didn’t. I absolutely get that it’s the lack of discussion that’s the issue. Mine had invited his friends a couple who I’d never met to stay for the weekend, fine, but then casually mentioned he’d organised golf on both days with the bloke. He was actually quite surprised by how cross I was, which is strange because how dare he decide what I had to do with my time.

I would let them stay but take care of themselves including food. Don’t do any extra cleaning than you do normally as that should be his job…

Don’t you want the cousins to get to know each other? It seems most people agree with you but it’s only a weekend. It’s his home too.

It's very definitely NOT your husband's place to decide any such thing for you, and you must not let him away with it or he will continue to be a rude, entitled arsehole. Nobody else's opinion or feelings on the matter are relevant, you don't want to do it - so do not do it.

He moans when your parents come and then he springs this on you. I'd probably host but be pissed off with him. tbh I'd probably be pretty fed up with the whole pretending to be Eric Clapton thing anyway - I'm assuming this is his mid-life crisis shtick?

Your husbands brothers family? Eg your family? I wouldn't think anything of it.

Definitely do NOT do this. Go to a hotel. He can explain matters, not your problem.

I think you should contact the family coming, make sure they know what to expect in terms of the space available, and say you are on your own for that time so please can they be prepared to muck in and help make a meal for the Saturday night for everyone, you're sorting breakfast, and given it's a bit crammed in the house and poor weather here are suggestions of things they can do out of the house during the day which do they fancy. it's a nuisance but you can take charge of it and make it less so

It’s only nine weekend. I think he should have discussed it with you first though. Why do they need to stay the entire weekend - surely nine night would be fine and make things more tolerable?

Could you go away for the weekend and take the kids to see your parents?

It’s only one weekend 🤷🏼‍♀️. You don’t have to entertain them, just give them the spare key and let them crack on.

Id just say no they need to get a hotel.

Just say you can as you already have plans.

I think this depends on your relationship day to day.

if you have a good marriage and he’s normally on your team, then I’d suck this up, assuming he is very well aware he owes you big time for this

if he normally just ploughs through doing whatever he wants (the nice guy whilst actually leaving everything to his wife) leaving you running around like a headless chicken, I’d be having serious thoughts about the future.

I couldn’t see one, this website is being really slow for me today though so it probably didn’t load for me.

I think I’d tolerate it given it’s a concert and clearly important to him. Going forward, I’d consider an Airbnb for them. Having a couple-your parents-staying is a bit different if they just go in the spare room. Having someone in the lounge is a pita and very limiting-does everyone have to vacate the room for her bedtime?

I would make myself extremely busy and unavailable to host.

It’s one weekend really don’t see the issue

they are your bil and sil and niece

coming to watch their brother /uncle

are you not watching dh at this important event for him