Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL furious niece cut her knee.

182 replies

Clockchair · 22/07/2025 09:36

So I was baby sitting DN 13 months for the first time. We were playing in the garden, she has started toddling about so only walking a few steps at a time. She was playing with my DD 3 years and she's tripped and scraped her knee. Just a normal little scrape, didn't even cry and laughed her head off when we put a special princess plaster on.

Well SIL collected her and is furious. She says I should have watched her more closely as she isn't walking properly yet and this is the first time she had been injured and it was when I was watching her so maybe I shouldn't babysit again. She is also upset that I didn't ring her when it happened.

Now for me it's not a big deal so I didn't even think to ring, that being said I have a 3 year old who is permanently covered in scrapes and bruises so maybe my opinion is a bit skewed.

Was I really unreasonable? I am gutted that she thinks I wasnt supervising properly.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Caterina99 · 24/07/2025 12:16

My SIL (who is lovely and younger than me and had no kids at the time) was watching my DS when he was a toddler, literally for 5 minutes, and he ran headfirst into the table or something and got a massive goose egg bump on his head. She was devastated. But toddlers do what toddlers do - wasn’t her fault and I never suggested it was. In fact she was way more upset about it than I was and said recently (DS is now 10!) she still feels bad about it.

Now she has her own toddler, and thankfully he’s not quite walking yet, so not at the injury stage, but I’m hoping she remembers that day when the inevitable happens to my nephew too! Accidents happen!

Hopingtobeaparent · 24/07/2025 09:55

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 22/07/2025 09:39

Plus, if she really manages to supervise her DC so closely that they never trip over in her care, then she's actually going to stunt their development.

Also this.

Hopingtobeaparent · 24/07/2025 09:52

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/07/2025 09:37

Your SIL has PFB syndrome. She'll learn. You did nothing wrong.

As is sometimes the case here on MN, first post nails it.

This. SIL should come round…

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/07/2025 04:02

Hello55 · 23/07/2025 22:17

Sorry what is PFB syndrome?

Show quote history

This question was answered on page one.

Laurmolonlabe · 24/07/2025 00:12

If she's that precious about it don't babysit again- imagine if it was a proper cut or scrape? Kids hurt themselves all the time, it's not balanced blaming you, don't help again, and don't give it a second thought.

Trishthedish · 23/07/2025 23:33

RetroViral · 22/07/2025 09:53

What on earth is PFB? There isn’t even anything on google for that?

Precious first born

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 23/07/2025 23:18

Well either your sister in law is going to learn to be more laid back, or her poor daughter is going to have a miserable childhood.

Deathinparadisefan · 23/07/2025 23:17

I was 18 months old and in the bedroom with my mum. She turned her back on me just to put something away in a drawer and I only went and put my hand on the bars of an electric fire! I still wear the scars over 50 years later.

Helen483 · 23/07/2025 23:13

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 22/07/2025 09:39

Plus, if she really manages to supervise her DC so closely that they never trip over in her care, then she's actually going to stunt their development.

This

I remember my sil following her PFB around at that age - literally with her hands out to catch him if he fell. Bonkers!

Rightsraptor · 23/07/2025 23:09

You've got the perfect excuse if your SiL does ask you to babysit again. You just say 'oh, I would but I'm scared she'll hurt herself again, so no'

Smartiepants79 · 23/07/2025 22:41

cwmflahwbml · 22/07/2025 12:08

"maybe I shouldn't babysit again."

Well that's solved the problem hasn't it. Don't babysit for her again.

A 13 month old baby who is learning to walk should be doing that on grass rather than on a surface where they could scrape themselves.

But why? Small, innocuous injuries are part and parcel of learning these skills. They’re are part of how they learn an understanding of risk and how to respond to minor injuries. Also builds resilience.
Small falls and trips, minor bumps and scrapes are just part of normal life.

greenmarsupial · 23/07/2025 22:39

Biids · 22/07/2025 11:24

Hmm I don’t know. A very wobbly 13mo - I think I would have been helicoptering. Tripping is almost guaranteed. I think it’s reasonable to feel a bit upset the first time your baby gets hurt. Also, if your 3yo is “permanently covered” in scrapes and bruises, you could teach her to be a bit more careful as I think that’s a bit much. People can be a bit too “cool mum” on here. The reality is that you need to take proper and careful care of small children.

Really? My two (not far off three) year old is also covered in bumps and bruises. Mostly on his legs and a mix of nursery and home. He just climbs a lot, charges around and wears shorts…

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/07/2025 22:34

Oh well, that’s her down one babysitter.

Hello55 · 23/07/2025 22:17

PestoHoliday · 22/07/2025 09:39

Your SIL will die of cringe when she looks back at this in years ahead. PFB syndrome makes us lunatics.

Sorry what is PFB syndrome?

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 23/07/2025 22:09

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/07/2025 09:37

Your SIL has PFB syndrome. She'll learn. You did nothing wrong.

First post nails it as usual

Loubylie · 23/07/2025 21:48

Would she react that way if a boy child scraped his knee? If she doesn't loosen up, she could totally cramp her daughter's physical development.

Studyunder · 23/07/2025 21:41

Tripping and falling is a normal feature of learning to walk and impossible to avoid no matter what age. She’s the problem.

Createausername1970 · 23/07/2025 21:03

Bonbon21 · 22/07/2025 09:41

Oh dear SIL is in for a long traumatic few years then!
She will learn that this is just the beginning.... hopefully she won't damage her daughter by restricting her adventures as she investigates the world.
There are walls to be walked on, trees to climb, puddles to splash and worms to dig up!!!
Love the princess plasters!

Exactly!

Adds - "mud to be eaten" to the list as well.

Your SIL will regret this. But don't sink to her level, just let it go, and smirk to yourself occasionally when her child is a grubby shambles, as every child should be after a thoroughly enjoyable days play.

jesihar · 23/07/2025 21:02

You did nothing wrong.

but I probably would have reacted like that, because I was very unwell with post natal anxiety.

I still am, four children later and school now in the mix. BUT, that’s my issue.

I now run a playgroup and am a childminder, but still react disproportionately to normal injuries in my children.

ButterCrackers · 23/07/2025 20:59

One less hassle to worry about as you can say how nervous you are to babysit now after her outburst. It’s much better to have paid care as they are professional etc.

AluckyEllie · 23/07/2025 20:55

I think you definitely need to agree with your SIL that you shouldn’t babysit again. And then when she deigns to let you the response should be ‘oh no, I’d be far to worried, you are right.’ And she can pay for a babysitter, cheeky mare.

Annmarie1967 · 23/07/2025 20:23

Kind of you to babysit, you'd be in demand as a sitter/minder as many don't have family to help out. Although we try to minimise accidents the early years are hard work as they know no danger and are wobbly

Nikki75 · 23/07/2025 19:02

You did nothing wrong shame not to babysit again as I'm sure your niece had more fun with you and your child.
Total overreaction from nieces mum.

GiveDogBone · 23/07/2025 17:56
  1. No more babysitting.
  2. Next time you see her niece and her legs are covered in cuts and bruises, as they surely will be like all other children, make a comment to the effect that she must be a terrible mother who doesn’t take care of her child. And see how she likes that.
CriticalCritter · 23/07/2025 17:46

That’s cool, one less kid to babysit. What a total overreaction on her part.

Swipe left for the next trending thread