Graduating as an adult - AIBU?

You're an adult and this is a postgrad bit of a shame your parents can't make it but this isn't your first degree. Why you'd think your siblings would be eager to watch online I have no idea! My parents and maternal grandparents attended my undergrad graduation but it was a big deal, I was the first person in my family to even go to uni. I've subsequently done another degree, a masters and a professional post grad in my thirties. I didn't even invite my parents, DH came. When DH completed his second degree and professional qualifications he didn't even want to go to his own graduation I had to persuade him 😂

YANBU - I can’t imagine not wanting to go to the graduation of someone I care about and who asked me, regardless of how old the graduate is and how many degrees that person had before.

Congratulations on your wonderful achievement 👏

YANBU, but I also don’t think it’s that unusual.

I got a degree in my 30s and did 2 postgrads in my 40s. No one was interested at all, not even DH. I was on my own at 1st graduation (DH looked after kids, although we could have got childcare). I ended up not bothering going for my postgrad ones.
I think because I was working, it was almost just seen as part of my job.
I think if you graduate in your early 20s it’s more ‘well done, this launches you into the world of work now’.
Now I’m thinking about it, I’m feeling a bit sad no one made an effort 😂

Congratulations - That’s a great achievement! I hope you have a great day and go out for a nice meal afterwards.

A postgrad year is very different to an undergraduate degree in terms of celebrating in my (limited) experience. With a first degree it’s been three or four years of work, it’s a coming of age thing and frequently proud parents seeing their child making their first significant achievement in adulthood.

Postgrad, especially later in life ones, tend to be partner/spouse rather than parents in the audience.

The thing with graduations - it’s a good few of hours sitting and clapping in order to see 30 seconds of your loved one on stage.

Oh well done OP!
I got a second bachelor’s degree at 43 and DM and DB were both there at the ceremony as they had been for the first which meant a lot so I understand how you feel.
As PP have said, enjoy your day and introduce your DH to people.

Congratulations! Returning to university is a massive achievement.

I'm a lecturer and my advice would be to seek out staff who taught you who are there and have a nice conversation with them. They will enjoy meeting your husband and hearing about your plans and they will want to celebrate your achievement. I love chatting with students afterwards - it's such a special moment.

Could you do an evening meal with your kids to celebrate?

I think it's sad your family are not supportive but I imagine this is true of other things in your life too and not just this occasion?

I hope you may have some loud cheers from your peers and your lecturers (I am one) because we know what you've managed to achieve. No, degrees are not set up for people with other commitments. Increasingly, young students are working too many hours in their casual jobs too so not easy at any age.

Be proud of yourself. I'm sure your husband will be proud of you. Your kids are just young and don't get it. Teens are selfish. Your parents are missing out! I do hope you will go celebrate with a nice lunch with your husband at least!

Congratulations 🎉

Congratulations on your huge achievement!

I wonder if it's the typical "midlife woman invisibility" issue - people just don't appreciate what you've had to sacrifice to achieve your goals (time, money, I don't know what else) and therefore cannot comprehend how meaningful it is for you?

Congratulations on graduating!

I'd expect my Mum (my Dad is dead and wouldn't have given a shit anyway) to be more interested than you've described, siblings less so.

Try not to let it get you down OP, perhaps they don't realise how tough it's been for you to get there.

I’m also graduating as an adult this year and it definitely does feel different to my undergraduate. Only DH is coming (and my friend/her partner- but she’s also graduating from the same university on the same day). We’re all going for a nice meal afterwards and my parents are looking after the kids.

It’ll be different but still lovely and special. It’s a great achievement doing a degree whilst also managing work/kids so well done!