Partner not interested in grandchild

She didn’t say she knew this in the beginning, to be fair to her!
She was with him for 4+ years before she had a grandchild. He was probably on his best behaviour with her family so she may not have known that he was merely tolerating them. Things change considerably once grandchildren arrive if you live close to them and want to play an active part in their lives.
YANBU.

Not everyone is into kids and you knew this to be fair to him

Are you able to work more hours if he does leave?
Some of your expenses will reduce if he isn’t living with you (CT, utilities, food). Can you claim benefits if you are unable to work more hours due to health problems?
Or find other work to help cover expenses, dog walking, etc?

I agree with pp re having a chat and laying out what you are planning to do with your family, having grandchild at yours, taking them out, having overnight etc and that you have no expectations of help from him and this is non negotiable. From what you have said I don’t think he will tolerate it and it’s then simply he must move out. You have given him a choice and it’s on him! He isn’t going to have a huge personality change at this point in his life, he just doesn’t get it! Many men don’t, but they don’t react the way your partner has.

Does he work? Have hobbies? Or is he always with you? Maybe you can work round that initially so you don’t feel so stressed about it.

Good luck!

He went 'mad' when your adult daughter was pregnant and has domineering mood swings? Ugh, I'm sure none of your relatives want to be around him. Why not remove him from your property, then you can enjoy dating him if he is really fun, intelligent and life enhancing.
He sounds like a really crap boyfriend who serves no purpose.

Have you had an open and honest conversation with your partner.

“DP I can sense that you’re not overly keen with my GC being here. Do you think this is something that is going to have a long term effect on us as a partnership or are you happy for me to have them there as long as I’m not asking you for help?”

Well you met him knowing he has no kids of his own. You also know that he is the same with his own family. So this is on you, you knew exactly what to expect. Why don’t you leave if this is a huge obstacle for you? I’m guessing that he is the provider for you therefore you will not leave?

Yea this! And why would you prioritise being 'nice' to this bloke then your own child and grandchild? How do you think your DD must feel that you prioritise this guy over them? How sad for her.

Can't you go on a day out with your GC and leave the miserable one at home, it doesn't affect him at all if you're both out of the house, you could even go away for a weekend with your daughter and GC and he doesn't get a say in the matter, surely.

FFS. So many women fob themselves off with 'I'm just too nice'. No, you're not being nice. Who are you being nice to? Not your daughter, not your grandson, not yourself, not even to him (not that he deserves it) because your motivation isn't 'niceness' it's placating a nasty old man. FGS it's your house. He went mad that your daughter was pregnant and you daren't even ask him to have toys in your garden for your grandchild. Kick him out and enjoy your family.

The joy of garden toys lasts such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. I would want to make the most of every moment of it all.

I think you have some difficult questions to ask yourself about the kind of future you want. Perhaps seek help in real life to work through this. X

Whose house is it?

What's keeping you with him?

OP do you actually want to be with someone who sulks, went mad when he found out your daughter was pregnant, and who you can't even bring up things like getting a couple of toys for the garden for your own home because you seem scared of his reaction? None of this is normal

Then he won't be homeless or hungry.

Does he have hobbies? Maybe plan for him to go out for golf or wherever. No point having him there killing the mood. If he says ‘it’s my home’ be firm and say ‘actually it’s my home’

It's your house.
I think you have to tell him you love him and want him in your life But you intend having a close warm relationship with your grandchildren and you will have toys in the house and garden and go out with them for days, have them over for sleepovers etc. He doesn't have to go with you and if he prefers he can go somewhere else when the children visit but tell him it's non negotiable.
Behaving as he is it is affecting your relationship with your family. I wouldn't accept that.

It's terribly sad that you seem to be on edge when when your family and grand daughter arrives. Out of interest, does he get along with your daughter? You must take a long hard look at your life and what it has become if your daughter suggests some garden toys in YOUR HOME and you are not even going to suggest it because you dread his reaction.

Do not let this socially awkward, jealous man rob you of those glorious young grandchild moments. They go so fast. The poster above says you don't sound happy? What is he bringing to your life to make it better than living alone? After 7 years, you know he is not going to change - in fact it will probably get worse, grumpy old men are a reality.

It’s your home & you should do what you want. So if you want grandchild to have toys & other toddler friendly things there then that’s your choice. My parents & in laws used to have a few toys, games, plates, trampoline & other bits & bobs at theirs.

Honestly you might be better off without him. He sounds quite controlling - considering it’s not even his place.

I agree with this. Don't miss out on the lovely times you should be having with your little grandchild.

Don’t miss out of your grandchildren’s lives.

It doesn’t sound like you’re happy.

If you don’t want to be with him anymore, ask him to leave. Don’t let his mental health make you feel obliged to let him
live with you.

Does he pay his half of bills/rent/food?

How are you today, op?

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. It’s been 7 years. He won’t change.

This. You’ll have the loveliest memories of your own GC playing with your garden toys. Don’t spoil that for a man.