To think an invite to the evening reception is not a wedding invite?

Yes, it’s an invitation, and no, it’s not cheeky. It’s entirely up to you whether you choose to go or not. Weddings are crazy expensive and it’s not unreasonable not to invite everyone to the meal.

I’ve hit an age where honestly I have zero interest in the night part. I don’t really drink anymore and sitting in a room with strangers and very very loud music is a nightmare for me. I was happy to go in my youth but now it’s the part that doesn’t appeal.

I went to a wedding of a good friend, just the evening part (long story) a group of us. It was clear all the daytime guests were mostly parents and PILs friends. We didn’t realise the incredibly expensive bar was cash only, there was virtually no food. Our group wasn’t in the best of moods (many things had happened) already. We didn’t stay long. Apparently we were meant to be the ‘party’ and we had spoiled it as we didn’t dance (and no one else did). If you come in to zero atmosphere there’s nothing for evening guests to join in with.

@Reliablesource so if a couple can't afford a 20k+ wedding they can't have people they love or like celebrate with them? You might feel C list with an evening invite but I don't..it's not a fact that "you do feel C list". At the heart of this is the key function of an invitation. It's an offer which you are free to turn down, not a summons or obligation. You are not "required" or "expected" to do anything. So long as the couple don't get pissy if people can't make it it's a nice thing to be invited, not an insult.

I’m not a fan of evening invites. The wedding couple should cut their cloth according to their budget and have people there all day or not at all IMO. I don’t feel I have attended a wedding if I haven’t attended the actual WEDDING ceremony!

Having said that, last summer, a work colleague I was very fond of invited 6 of us colleagues to the evening do only. I was only happy to go just because I really like him. The 6 of us got an AirBnB and made a weekend of it: arrived on Friday evening for a face pack and cava/takeaway night with Netflix; hung out the next day with fish & chips for lunch; went back and got ready for the event itself, turned up at 8pm and had a nice enough time. But everyone who had been there all day was drunk and tired. Our group actually had a much lovelier time bonding together for the time preceding! You definitely feel C list arriving to a wedding if you’re evening-only but we made it into a really nice weekend for the group and the wedding was incidental in the end!

My DH and I have an evening invite for a wedding 4 hours away in September. We have booked a hotel for the night and I’m really looking forward to it. I don’t consider it an insult, I think we get to go for the fun part, there’s less waiting around and less pressure to buy a new outfit or a big present.

CBATRTFT.

What’s the day event? Grand ceremony in Ely Cathedral followed by a wedding breakfast in a stately home? Or some crappy registry office in-and-out presided over by a bored registrar, then a dodgy buffet?

It will almost always be the latter. If so, I’d rather just go for the evening piss up and a bit of a dance.

I've never met anyone in real life who objected to the very notion of an evening invitation, I'm always baffled when anyone says they find them offensive. Absolute batshit.

...they actually put some food on, not just a pay bar with some crisps.

This.
And it is an invitation not a summons so……

Evening invitations are fine when:

They are local.

You haven't led people into false hope of a full invitation (e.g. by talking about the wedding in detail for 2 years or sending a save the date)

You are not splitting a group of peers up.

An invite is exactly that, you can choose to go.

You're important to me, just not very important, and certainly not important enough to be at the actual wedding"
Well yes, on old friend that you really like but don t see that often is not as Important than mums, dads, siblings, neieces, nephews, nans and grandads on both sides but you still like their company

why not invite them to a party, where you can laugh, dance, drink and eat food.
Its not all bad.

There two ways of looking at it.

First is to take the huff because you are not in the inner circle or the second is to think 'Great! This is going to be a good night out to celebrate an old friend's wedding I wonder who else is going' and go and have a cracking time.

If its too fat away far enough, but generallyI'll be getting slammed ip to ready to party.

Life's too short to take offence at this, id rather enjoy myself!!

I wouldn't be offended to only be invited to a wedding 'night' , but I wouldn't bother travelling four hours to go to one. I would just send my apologies.

"You're important to me, just not very important, and certainly not important enough to be at the actual wedding"

I never see why so many Mners get frothed up about this.

Evening invitations, when issued to an old friend you no longer see much of, or a distant relative, or work colleagues, is a time-honoured way of saying 'Look, I'd love it if you looked in for a few hours for a dance and some food, but I only really expect very local people to do so -- my evening invitation to you is just registering that you're still important to me, but not in my close circle. I don't really expect you to come.'

I’ve said before I don’t like two tier weddings. I don’t go to the evening only and defo not if I need to travel four hours to get there. Others would. As with all invitations, go or don’t go, it’s up to you op.

I don’t really go to weddings if I’m invited to the evening o my, especially if it’s a long drive

why do you want to invite 150 guests if you can't afford them? (or 70?)

I mean, most bride and grooms can't afford the Plaza either. They book elsewhere. Why this constant need to show off, and host something bigger than you can afford?

Weddings might be ludicrously expensive, but in too many cases, they are just hosted for the photos. Expensive setting, expensive flowers, expensive photographer and a photoshoot lasting hours in the afternoon. It's anything but a party, the guests are bored, but the bride and groom can show off on instagram.

What's wrong with an actual party with the friends you can actually afford?

Don't go. It's too far away anyway A bit thoughtless to give a evening invitation to folkk who live far away. They should only be for local friends or work colleagues.

Evening guests are those you’re not close to
Why would you invite people you’re not close to?
Weddings in our circle gave been for close friends and immediate and slightly extended family.

Reception is wider family, colleagues, wider circle of friends, people you like and socalise with in the pub and village or community and for everyone to create a memorable party!

70 is a lot of people!

Thank you so much. Honestly, when I see how excited they are and how much thought and effort they are making, and how hard they are saving, to make this as inclusive as possible it’s really upsetting to think that people might be talking about them they way some people are talking on this thread

The times have changed where everyone could afford 150 day guests. Weddings are ludicrously expensive.

We are having an intimate registry office ceremony with only 12 close family followed by a reception at 4/5pm with 70 people. If that is ‘cheeky’ then I will gladly be so.

I only know of this offence on here
I don't know anyone in real life who feels hard done by with an evening reception invitation.
Sounds like a lovely wedding for your daughter

We must move in very different circles.
The vast majority of events I've been to there's been a bar where you pay.