Friend didn’t show up

Just ditch her OP. She obviously doesn't give a shit about this relationship so why do you?

I think I'd have to give her an earful about this first though, it's just so rude.

Clearly she's not as bothered as you are as to whether you meet up or not.

You say she's got form for being flaky so you're setting yourself up for a fall everytime you ask her to an event.

Op don’t invest in any more entertaining until you have invested in a self confidence course

Your sister is very honest to tell you all this

I had a flaky friend when I was a teenager, always cancelling and not reliable. The final straw was her trying to bring a random friend to my 18th birthday dinner and then cancelling on my 18th birthday party. After that I was totally done with her, sad because we had been friends since primary school but I have no patience with persistent flakes.

Just drop her, she isn't worth your time.

Your friend is just like my sister. She is selfish in the extreme and treats all her friends (whose friendship she does value but only in terms of what it does for her) like this. I have watched the same situation play out for decades; everyone has their tipping point and will cut contact with her when they get there. What I have noticed is that the younger they were when they met the longer it takes.

For example her teenage friend accepted about 25 years of sitting waiting in restaurants or pubs or her house and always told her it was fine then one day very timidly said "I wish you wouldn't do this to me all the time." A year later she blocked her everywhere. My sister was devastated.

More recently a friend of less than a year calmly told her she wouldn't be making any arrangements to meet up again as my sister had arrived late and caused stress attending an event for the rest of them. The group had arrived early as agreed so they could get good seats but they assumed something was wrong when my sister was an hour late. She breezed in with no apologies or explanations and then was livid at their reaction and ridiculed them afterwards.

She's my sister, I love her and don't intend to cut her off but I wish more people in your shoes would just give it straight before they cut her off.

Dump her op. She doesn’t value your friendship one but. How bloody rude to give you reassurance that she will be there then just not bother turning up. That’s so disrespectful. Set your boundaries and expectations higher don’t put up with being treated like that.

Your friend is treating you as disposable and like you dont matter.
You are worth more than that.

My advice ?
Goodbye former friend .

What did friend 1 and partner say about the no show?

If it has always been one-way traffic, it doesn't sound like she is that interested in the friendship.

It's fake though! Please don't be a pushover. To not even let you know she wasn't coming is beyond rude.

Normal behaviour in Italy.....😀

People might call me flaky as I often have to cancel late on, due to my health, but I’d never be so rude as to not even let you know! I think that’s unforgivable, especially if she’s done similar before. Friends don’t treat people like that.

I used to be judgemental of passive social media posts but given how badly some people feel able to treat people that they consider friends it's more understandable.

I'd put a post on social media, to be honest. Something passive aggressive. She was really rude just no-showing. So a little rudeness in return, in the medium (social media) she seems to favour seems appropriate.

'Sorry you were unable to make our prearranged lunch. Hope you're OK? We waited for you for an hour.'

I’d have replied to her message saying she’d definitely be there with basically “umm wtf - you didn’t show up” (I’m paraphrasing but that would be the gist).

It's not acceptable and I wouldn't invite her anywhere again, or make any plans with her.
I had a flaky friend, and it's just so annoying. She'd usually let me know but at the last minute, and it completely ruined my chance to make proper plans for the day.

This happened to me with an old school friend.

Just give up. She doesn't care enough about you.

I feel so much better for not being a doormat.

I do miss our nights out but I don't miss feeling shit when she has left me in the dark and not turned up.

I think you have to match the energy of these people or the resentment just builds and builds and will harm you. Or ditch them completely.

Speaking as someone who probably comes across as “flaky” (ADHD and social anxiety) - ditch her, that is spectacularly rude.

Mmm I wouldn’t “reluctantly” withdraw from this friendship I’d run away as fast as my legs could carry me… so rude and not worth any more invites.

Is she one of these scatter brained types who lives her life through the eyes of everything is a catastrophe?

I wouldn’t bother contacting her again. She doesn’t arrange meet ups with you, is flaky and now doesn’t show up or give a reason to why. If she really wanted to be your friend she would have been in touch already to explain what happened.

Don’t reach out to her, just leave it be.

Yes I would end the friendship, she might be good company but she doesn’t care about your feelings or wasting your time/money.