Would you report a friend for benefit fraud?

No, you haven’t got a clue what’s going on and are just being a shit person. Mind your own business.

Yes. We are in enough shit in this country From benefit cheats

it amazes me that everyone is moaning about how thee is no money for the nhs, etc etc

well benefit cheats dont help do they it’s everyone responsibility to report if they think cheating is going on

As a single parent to a disabled child myself it is exhausting, stressful and relentless. The benefits don’t cover half of what my son needs and I’m always in debt. To even be considering adding to her stress is unforgivable whatever her living situation is. Stay out of it, mind your own business and have some emotional intelligence

Their child is disabled and the mum has health issues that you consider could classify her as also being disabled. So it's it more reasonable to assume the XH is there a lot because of that?

Small children's perception of time isn't always accurate. And maybe they want their parents back together, so they are saying stuff they want to be true.

Does your friend even want him around that much? It sounds like her situation makes her a bit vulnerable.

So no, I wouldn't report. Could you really put her through being investigated because you're suspicious?

I do hope she has some other friends, though.

Definitely not. People thinking they know other people’s business from a snapshot of their lives is one of my pet hates.

1. Don't call her your friend when you are not a friend firstly.

1. Why are you taking the words of kids as gospel over the actual adult in the situation - kids get the wrong end of the stick all the time/ tell fibs.

1. Is it not possible he's around a lot as they're trying to figure out coparenting in the best way for their child

1. Is it not possible that they're tentatively rekindling but aren't at a stable enough point where she'd stake her financial security on it. If it was a new boyfriend who was staying over a few nights a week would you report her?

1. Kids are disabled, she's disabled why tf do you want to make things harder or have them put under the stress of an investigation or suspended benefits

1. If she and the kids are disabled is it not possible they're dependent on him for care at times if one or the other is struggling? Why should she be left on her own to deal with that while he gets a full night's sleep.

This is quite literally NOTHING to do with you. I think you need to look at this time you have on your hands and try to fill it with something that's more fulfilling that helps you mind your business.

No, I wouldn't. Even if she wasn't my 'friend'. Benefits are a pittance and it sounds as though she's been through the mill. Mind your own.

Would you want everyone in your life to take the word of your 7yo as gospel?

No.

No.

And children are not reliable narrators anyway.

What? This is your friend? Absolutely not. Not in a million years would I report them. I wouldn't actually report anyone as it isn't any of my business but a friend? Hell would freeze over.

This. And there’s one thing worse than benefit fraud and that’s living in a surveillance state with friends and neighbours reporting on each other (which we are currently sleep walking into, many people with open arms, but that’s for another thread!).

But also you don’t even know there’s any fraud occurring. Do you know what a benefits investigation involves? It upends the lives of claimants. Benefits are usually stopped or reduced during investigations and it can take months and months. Claimants usually have to use food banks to survive, while having the stress of attending, often multiple, interrogations interviews. It’s stressful and horrible and affects the whole family. Why would you want to inflict that on someone you regard as a friend on the basis of a hunch ?!?

No! Don’t be such a horrible person!

Have you eaten food at her table?
Probably be wary of betraying her then.
Best to give out goodness, not petty, cruel, vengence into the world

You don’t know for sure what’s going on. YWBVU to wade in here. Leave it well alone.

No I wouldn’t, it’s only the kids that will suffer.

Let it go and let her be. You also need to back off and see her less as clearly you're too judgemental and could get her into a big dilemma over your accusations. Remember she's got health issues as well as looking after a disabled child....give her a break

No because the kids could be mistaken you sound like you dislike your friend perhaps step away from your friendship because you would literally be stealing food from a disabled child's mouth they dont let you claim while they look into it they stop your money then take forever demanding "evidence" that most people dont have to hand

You need several bills in your name at a different address if they moved in with their parents they won't have that

A council tax bill if they have moved in with family temporary they might not have put them on especially if they were paying full wack anyway

Driving licence with updated address seriously who changes those for a temporary address

Even then it could take months to resolve

All because you want to be righteous

No I wouldn’t - I’m not a grass. Secondly someone once threatened to report my friend for benefit fraud and yet she wasn’t even claiming, what you think you know isn’t fact so I’d butt out.

No.

@Acompletelyrandomname no..why do you seem intent on making this woman's problems worse? She's been cheated on in an unhappy and quite possibly abusive relationship for years, has a disabled child and is disabled herself. Why would you want her to suffer?

So? He’s their father. Maybe they are slowly patching things up. This is absolutely none of your business whatsoever. And you don’t know the details.

That’s normal in a good co parenting relationship. Doesn’t mean he lives there

No, I think I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than spend so much time thinking about someone else's business.

Let alone be thinking about it at midnight and talking to strangers about it.

Do you have any knitting needles and wool?

Perhaps you could do something more useful with your time.

I’m a single parent and tbh people talking to my 7 year old might think my exh still lives here! My 7 year old still draws pictures of all of us together and often talks about “mummy and daddy at home”, my exh comes over 1 night a week to see the kids so his car is here regularly. YABU