to consider private school...

So you'd expect these parents to actually parent? Sacre bleu! Throw money at the problem instead 😂

@MyLilacSheep OP, if you want your kids to go to an international school and to learn a language proficiently - move abroad.

Otherwise, House A from your first post makes sense. Nicer area, closer to the sea.

And you never know, perhaps the private school options near houseB have a minibus route with a wide reach (e.g. to house A) that would collect the children and bring them in.

I'd consider plan A

As a pp said, international school doesn't mean your kid will learn another language

Here here

Single sex is beneficial for girls but not for boys however to use girls as a "civilising" force is blatantly misogynistic.

Or you could raise your boys to not need girls to regulate their behaviour for them

One option is to send your children to prep school and then, like very many parents do, send them to the grammar schools after as they will have more chance of passing the entrance exams.

I worked in a non-selective independent secondary school and the behaviour was poor, the teaching was not that great and I would not have sent my children there. Where does the prep-school feed into? Is there a high quality independent secondary school nearby that you could choose if you decide to go that way instead of a grammar school.

Another factor is - your children are very small, and the prep-school could change in the next 4-5 years, change of Head teacher, financial issues, things that may change the quality of the teaching. Is the lifestyle of living near the sea in a house you really like worth giving up if there is a good primary and grammar schools nearby?

I am pro-independent especially with crisis in state sector currently BUT:

• have you factored in yearly fees rises AND vat?
• viability of local independent school? We are seeing 67%+ increase in schools closing due to VAT. Do very thorough research into finances + viability
• the local state option (including secondary + 6th form) in terms of results/facilities/enrichment etc. A very good state school may make paying for independent school pointless
• Contingency for losing job etc

£45k saving on a house probably wouldn’t cover even a year of school fees.

IMO prep school fees aren’t really ‘worth it’ now - the fees are too high.

House A sounds nice anyway.

Assume £250-350k per child for private school fees all the way though.

If your DH thinks it’s a waste of money, I don’t know how you come to agree to spending that kind of money…!

I would only consider private school if I could comfortably afford it or if the state options were terrible. It would be cheaper to go to state school and hire a language tutor if that’s your thing.

Who knows what will happen with school fees later. They may increase by more than your wages do, what then? Or if there is a job loss? I wouldn’t want my child’s education to be impacted in that way. Speaking from experience, going from a private school into a state school later on in your education is a difficult transition.

You need to be looking long-haul. Cost of independent education goes up as they get older, so if it would be a stretch now in younger years, it may be unreachable during the later years. Also need to take into account additional costs - uniform etc tend to cost more. I believe in the Independent education route, but only if you do your research first. What are your plans for the next 15 years worth of education? If its tight now, I would perhaps suggest sending them to the good local primary and looking at Independent education from yr7/8 when it is leading up to exams.

International schools do not give your kids any more of an opportunity to learn a language than any other school. They just cater more for international students.

Saving £45k on a house is not going to fund 2 kids through private school.

I vote with DH on option A in your scenario.

Both have to be in agreement or it won’t work

Well no you can’t consider it if your DH isn’t on board. You both need to agree on where to live and what school to send your kids to.