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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some posters can be a bit obtuse - especially when a thread isn’t soaked in modesty?

34 replies

ThatTipsyMaker · 21/07/2025 14:38

It seems to happen more often when someone talks about money, achievement, weight loss or even their looks without apologising for it. If you’re not painfully modest or self-deprecating, suddenly people act like you’re bragging or delusional.

It feels like there’s a weird rule that you’re only allowed to share good things if you undercut yourself at the same time.

Is that just how online forums work or AIBU to think this is a very specific Mumsnet thing?

OP posts:
Darragon · 21/07/2025 17:49

It's more out in the open on MN because people here say what they think. I think people on FB etc are thinking exactly the same, they just don't post it because it's less anonymous and it's not a good look to be jealous of success and they know it.

Spindleweed · 21/07/2025 17:48

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/07/2025 14:41

It’s a British thing.

Yes. Not unique to Britishness, obviously, but a dislike of tall poppies and an insistence on extreme self-deprecation, especially in women, is definitely a cultural attitude.

CruCru · 21/07/2025 17:46

Mumsnet is quite extreme for this I think. I remember a poster saying that she didn’t understand why she didn’t have a long term partner - she was good looking, educated, a high earner, in good shape, owned her own flat and in her late 20s. A load of people came on to say that she was clearly conceited and her appalling personality was putting men off.

Cluborange666 · 21/07/2025 17:44

I once said that my son could read simple books at age 2.5 and got ripped to shreds and called a liar. It was quite upsetting at the time. I wasn’t the OP. It was a comment to do with literacy. My son is autistic so it is a ‘thing’.

MushMonster · 21/07/2025 17:29

A mumsnet thing, closely followed by ellaborating complex scenarios in which the OP is guilty, even for the simplest of issues.
But I have seen it in real life in UK too. Some people are just negative, they love to point at negatives, talk negatively of others and are just plain pain in the backside to be by.

twobabiesandapup · 21/07/2025 17:10

I know exactly what you mean and I think it’s a mumsnet thing. I don’t know anyone in real life who would shoot me down for sharing something positive about myself, but I see it all the time on here!

miniaturepixieonacid · 21/07/2025 14:44

I think that's just human nature. Everyone can reel off their weaknesses and what they don't like about themselves without a second thought. But being positive about yourself is much harder. Then we're the opposite when it comes to other people - reluctant to criticise and quick to praise.

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/07/2025 14:41

It’s a British thing.

araiwa · 21/07/2025 14:40

Mumsnet thing