Leaving DH behind and going on a 8 week holiday

I LOVE my own company. It rarely happens, but I absolutely love it when I occasionally get the house to myself for a day or two.

But if my husband took our kids and went away for 8 weeks I would be very unhappy. That's a completely different scenario, and I would not be impressed with someone who wouldn't be upset with that happening.

Sounds like a magical last break with them before they are proper adults. And a new job means he’ll have no annual leave and will be tired etc so he’s maybe like the down time? He’d rather you not go than some of you go? Your children I guess want to go and if get him to tell them why they’re not going. How much are the flight difference to come back after 4 weeks? As would the costs of an additional 4 weeks there be worth more?

Genuinely curious here as this has been mentioned a fair few times, if the DH took the children on holiday and she stayed at home what’s the issue?

Go! With the children potentially moving into further education this might be the last opportunity for them for some time. OH will survive…….his belly will find his brain…….just be sure to teach him how to use the washing machine. 👍

Christ alive, OP is taking the children with them. He will have no responsibilities barring getting on with a new job, footloose and fancy free. He’s pissing on their chance to have a long break after A levels with family, this really isn’t likely to happen again soon. Knowing teenagers it will have been a long year of revision and exam prep for them and parents. He will be fine, I really don’t get the mentality of not enjoying your own company, I’d relish it. Perhaps a compromise of a weekend away before you go and before they head off to uni?

I’d be a bit ‘dog in the manager’ if DS and DH went off on a two month family holiday before DS left for a distant university.

I don’t believe the choice of length of trip is 3 weeks or 8.

I’d hate this- eight weeks?!?!? How on earth is that cheaper than 2-4?!

I was going to suggest a bit of both but then I remembered you said that these are the only available tickets. I think you should go. You can FaceTime lot and it gives dh peace and quiet to get stuck into the new job.

I’d go. I know lots of families where one parent takes the children to visit family for the entire school holiday whilst the other stays behind due to work. It’s great for the kids to have that extended time with family that are far away and the partner at home can crack on with work and maybe other tasks in the house that they never have time or space for with kids there.

She is not taking young children away for 8 weeks . They are essentially adults. And would probably spend most of the summer doing other things anyway.
If its the only time you see family and they still want to go then I would.
It would be different if young children .

Do it. My mother was a teacher and we used to spend all summer overseas with her in her family's house. Father would join us for his AL. Lots of happy memories spending the summer with the friends I made and saw every summer.

I have an 18 year old who’s about to head off to uni, and I’d be really upset if I didn’t get to spend any time with her at all this summer because my partner had taken her away for the whole summer. She’d also hate it - she’s going on two weeks of family holidays and looking forward to it, but she’s also got several trips with friends planned, as well as just hanging out with friends and family at home before she leaves. Do your children really want to do this?

Surely the extra spending money would be more than the flights? Mine wouldnt want to go away for the entire summer before leaving their friends for uni, no way would I not be here for results day either.

Well he’s not going to keel over and die because of it so yes he will survive , but it seems very selfish of the OP in light of the dc going to uni for 6 years when they get back. Yes I know they’ll visit etc but OP is framing it as their last family holiday before uni but minus the dad of the family.

Yes yabu, and if a man came on here asking if he was ok to leave his wife that long I’m pretty sure he would be told he’s being unreasonable, but because it’s a woman you’ll be told to go! 8 weeks is taking the piss. What is the difference in price going for a shorter time?

Personally I would see what the twins want to do.
I wouldn't keep them home all summer with the odd weekend away because their dad didn't want to be on his own. He will be fine.

Who’s putting you up for two months? Seems like a long time to be visiting (and staying with) relatives.

Why not just send the kids for a shorter period they are 18 and actually adults

I think if the kids are going pretty much straight to uni when you’d be getting back, you’re being a bit unreasonable here.

The compromise here is either you and the kids just go for 3-4 weeks and suck up the extra cost of the flights, or you go for 8 weeks and send the kids home after 4 weeks so they get some time with dad. I assume you’re staying with family so wouldn’t have accommodation costs which is why it’s cheaper to go for the longer stint.

Have you checked with your hosts about an 8 week trip? I'd be horrified if someone wanted to stay that long.

A lot of people don’t see dads as part of the family, just as a lot of people see children as possessions.

As someone who both loves and likes their children this would be a no for me, it would also be a no for my husband.

As you’re ditching your husband for eight weeks, taking the children on the last ‘family’ holiday before university, are you actually planning on leaving him and having the first ‘single’ holiday once they’re off at uni? I knoe a few people who have done a big holiday before the children are uni while the other parent is at home, every single one has seen it as the start of their divorce process.

Have you spoken to your children about what they want?

Even more reason to do the weekend breaks at home. It’s the last time for their father too!

Not worth going for anything less than 3 weeks?
1: You are talking about 8 weeks not 3!
2: We visit in laws in South Africa for 2 weeks only!

You sound selfish.