Leaving DH behind and going on a 8 week holiday

I think it's really selfish tbh. 8 weeks is a long time. Is there not a compromise?

I can see both sides tbh. Would a compromise be that the kids go for 8 weeks and you go for a shorter time? That way you mostly get the benefit of the cheaper flights, you get some couple time, and the kids get a sense of independence.

I agree, @LucyMonth, I suggested upthread that they go for 4-6 weeks so that he can also spend quality time with his children before they leave for uni.

But I wouldn’t skip the trip completely.

Anyway, YABU.

Don’t you work, OP?

I think 8 weeks is far too long. Don't you have a job? It would be pretty miserable for him to have no summer with his kids. He's finally found a job and can be more positive and enjoy the weekends. I would be very unhappy if my partner did this to me. Either pay more to go for less time or wait till you can all go.

If that’s the case, surely it’s even shittier to take them away from their Dad for 8 weeks of what will be his “last summer” with them?

OP you very obviously don’t need to be there for 8 weeks just because that’s how the cheapest flights work out. YABU not to compromise and just go for 3-4 weeks.

I would splash out the money for the shorter trip, or for your kids to do a shorter trip, as it's likely to be the last for a while and you might only be paying for you and maybe your dh next year.

I have to say mine did a lot with friends the summer after A levels, and I wouldn't want to have taken them away for the whole summer, only them to go off to uni at the end and miss last chances to do things with local friends.

Just go.
It's 8 weeks not 8 months!!
Your DH is a grown adult so surely he can cope at home. In fact he can get really stuck in his new job. I'm not sure why he's trying to stop you tbh. You can phone/message/face time etc
If your 18 year olds want to go then GO!!
Enjoy!

You've made your mind up. Why are you posting?

So it's cheaper to go for 8 weeks but that doesn't work, so you pay a bit more and go for 3 weeks.

Simple really.

He’s just starting a new job and you want to leave him alone for eight weeks. And you don’t think this is unreasonable ? OK then. Why have you posted op ? Because it seems to be you’ve already made up your mind, and your last concern seems to be him, so it’s a bit pointless to ask for opinions isn’t it ?

@maybelou I can only speak from my own experience but we’ve found that once DD went to uni, she very much did her own thing! We did meet up as a family abroad last year while she was on holiday with a friend-but we haven’t had a long.holiday together since she’s gone as she had too much on- taking summer classes, working, her friends. It’s already looking that way with DS (16), he’s been really busy this summer.

We tried to find a good time for the whole family to visit my elderly Dad in the UK and Christmas is the only option!

Do you know OP 's family and where they are?

My in law extended family are split between the other side of the world, and a lovely part of Europe. And my kids have loved visiting both sets and exploring the areas, from age 5 to 35. We don't go every year but they choose to go, even now.

And shockingly, many of the relatives are as old, if not older than me.

If you have gone for 4 weeks before you can go for 4 weeks this time.

Nothing better than going abroad for long but even better having the kids and hubby with me all the time ....you are spoiled for choice, so lucky

It would be extremely selfish to go, but I think OP knows that and doesn't care. I don't understand the argument that it could be the last chance for a family holiday together though since the kids will get holidays from uni and you can all presumably use some of that time to go and visit family?

I think I’d feel really bad if my family did this to me.

Let's not beat around the holiday is for you not your twins. Why would 18 year olds want to spend time with older people for 8 weeks like you said they're not 8. They would rather spend it with friends before they go. The pair of you sound boring and out of touch your poor twins you'll bore them to death.

Why should he have to suck it up, presumably family money is paying for it. If DH did that to me and wouldn't compromise, with or without children, I'd be using the 8 weeks to get the divorce under way! He

No, it boils down to her husband having been through a tough time and now she’s off on holiday for two months, meaning he doesn’t see the kids before they go to uni - for six years!

That's bloody harsh! If the kids are 18, send them on their own.

They're 18! OP is not separating her DH from his kids. They are not children and can spend their holiday where and how they like.

This boils down to does her DH get to A. Decide how and where she spends hers inc. nowhere if he can't, and B. On what she funds for the kids

A dog can’t eat what’s in the manger but he lies in it so the other animals can’t eat either. Ie. I can’t go so no one else should either.

You and the kids go for 8 weeks.
DH join you for the middle 2/3/4 weeks with a more expensive flight.

this. I'd stay home this year....I mean he's your husband and the kids dad!