Leaving DH behind and going on a 8 week holiday

I love nights out and weekends away without my DH, and he does the same, but I wouldn't want to be away from him for two months!!

Also I'm surprised your 18 year olds haven't got stuff going on over the summer that they'd be sad to miss.

I mean - ive done about 6 with two little ones as my family live in a different continent - my h was ok with it tho, and yours isnt, i think perhaps you need some sort of compromise,

@tarryawhile2025, I think this is unkind. Why don’t you value or respect your DH’s thoughts and feelings? I wouldn’t do this to my partner - him and my children are the most important people in the world to me. There is clearly a reasonable middle ground here, and lots of different options you could consider. I find it strange that you aren’t willing to work through this with him and instead are just going with what you want and the most “affordable” flight options (p.s. the most affordable flight option is no flight).

Get less affordable tickets then. I think 2 months alone while settling into a new job sounds bleak. Alternatively, if DC have just done A levels could they travel, at least one way, without you and have the longer break? You go for a couple of weeks.

It was unfair visiting every year for 15 years.
Every second year is plenty.
Especially using up precious annual leave.
Can you compromise on your time, staying for 4/5 weeks.

ok, well, I still wouldn’t do it 😂

It may well be a different circumstance, but it’s also entirely irrelevant to the OP.

can you not leave the teenagers there do at least one of you is with him. Go for three and leave the young adults behind.

I think this is a situation where you would need two yesses to make that okay, and on that basis I think YABU

Quite. I travel a lot. 3 weeks is essentially the max away and even that's difficult. And that's with a teenager, not babies.

I agree. I also wouldn’t want to spend eight weeks away from my husband, I’d want to spend holidays with him and our kids.

So basically he gets no summer fun with his family. No days out, no weekends/weeks away. I'd be pretty gutted.

It comes over as being quite mean really. It's one thing that the kids go but that you go for 2 months?

I'm assuming there's some huge backstory as how you deserve it so it can be justified.

I had several trips away on my own, leaving DH and the late teens kids behind. But each trip was three weeks, max.

8 weeks is taking the piss, frankly. In his position I'd be gutted not to see my kids for that long, just at the point where I didn't have the flexibility to join you.

I don't understand why a grown man can't be on his own for 8 weeks. Presumably he'll be at work during the day. In the evenings he can go out with friends, watch whatever he wants on telly, etc.

If the children were younger, where 8 weeks would make a difference in their development, then I'd say it's too long. But they're A-level age. Let them go and enjoy their summer for possibly the last time together.

And, yes, I'd be happy for my DH to take the teens away for that long (in fact, I couldn't pack their bags fast enough!).

My kids are younger so it’s not quite the same, but my DH would definitely not want to be apart from them for 8 weeks. And I wouldn’t like it either. I think you need to compromise with a shorter trip.

Would you be happy for your DH to go if the tables were turned? I don't think I would be tbh.

How much more expensive is a shorter trip that brings you closer to the traditional 4 week trip you’ve taken? It might be worth taking the hit to allow your DH some sort of summer with you all?

It can't be that much more affordable. It just can't.

And no, you can't just 'take off'. Reach a compromise.

Surely if can’t be cheaper to go for 8 weeks instead of 3 even if the flights are cheaper once’s you factor the additional 5 weeks of holiday spending?

YABU, I see your view but I think you need to compromise here. 2-4 weeks away is still loads, then do stuff with DH while you’re around.

I think it would be very selfish to separate yourselves for 8 weeks in order to be spoiled by overseas family, regardless of the fact your DH is finally back at work. 8 weeks is too long.

Obviously it's possible to go for a shorter period of time, you're just wanting to pay for the cheapest tickets. Spend the money to go for 4 weeks, it'll be worth it to not hurt your DH in this way.

Sorry if this was the other way round and it was the DH taking the kids away for 2 months after wife has lost her job and finally found one then the comments would be different. I think it’s too long and I’m on your DH’s side. I couldn’t do this to my DH personally

Of course you're being ridiculous

Hes just starting a new job, he might feel a bit anxious at first, the first few months in a new job cam be a bit stressful. There will be no one at home to support him. He will be coming home to an empty house for two months, I know how that would make me feel. I think you are being unreasonable.