Sister's wedding and no children invited

Just no- quit as maid of honour, because it’s not possible for you to attend for long. Plus you will struggle to organise a hens etc?

I would not be leaving a 6 month old for that time. If you want to go (and you have trustworthy cover) then I’d just be going for the one night and make it clear why.

she is not unreasonable having the wedding she wants and neither are you for not going at all or just a small part.

She must have a child-less friend she can choose instead.

If you want to still be maid of honour a funny title considering her consideration towards you, At most go in for the actual ceremony and then leave.

There is no need for three days at all once the actual marriage has taken place leave.

Though I wouldn’t even give her that since she shows no concern to you or even your tiny baby.

Did you agree to being MOH before or after you knew the no kids decision?

I wouldn’t leave a 6 month old for three days, that’s a hard no, so from me it would be the timing is unfortunate if dc can’t come, I can definitely come for an afternoon, maybe stay over one night, but I won’t leave a 6mo for longer than overnight and that’s only if I’ve got someone I’m confident leaving them with- no one springs to mind except dh and mum (if that’s true).

Tbh I wouldn't go. If you're not close enough for her to include your two young children, then you're not close enough to have to see her get married.

I have an older sister and couldn't imagine excluding her children (if she had any when I got married). Surely sisters should be exempt from the child-free rule?!

You don’t have to go for the full weekend, just go for ceremony and wedding breakfast. In-laws could handle that day?

Why should she?

I wouldn’t do any of this. If my sister did such a ridiculous thing as to expect her own sister not to bring her kids to her wedding then we aren’t close enough for me to be bothered about missing it. Of it caused a family rift, that’s on them. My ex SIL pulled this shit when she married my brother. My sister couldn’t come because she was heavily pregnant and couldn’t travel. SIL booked the wedding date without my brother’s knowledge, knowing my sister wouldn’t be able to go. Brother decided his hands were tied as the deposit and everything was paid. Her excuse was she wanted a summer wedding and even if she’d booked it for later my sister couldn’t have come as she wasn’t having children at her wedding. Brother reckoned he had no say in it but of course he could have said no. I went under duress, pressure from my parents (I was young and stupid) The older me wishes I’d dug in and said I wasn’t going either.

Of course people can choose what they want for their own weddings, and it’s entirely up to them, but they should also understand actions have consequences and nobody (not even your sister) has to bend over backwards to do your bidding.

I would be honest and say, with a six month old baby, DH would have to stay home and I could only attend for 1 day/night (driving up on the day and back the following morning).

If she wants your attendance for the full weekend, then she will also need to accommodate the kids in the wedding plans.

Her wedding, her life, her choice.

Nope I wouldn’t be leaving children for that long, due to childcare costs, trusting someone for that long and their age.

I think you driving alone for the ceremony and meal then coming home would be a good compromise.

What on Earth is everyone going to be doing for 3 whole days?

Assuming you aren’t breastfeeding I’d go there and back in a single day.

if you haven’t got anyone reasonable (eg the other grandparents) to leave them with, then I’d go alone.

She can choose child free of she like but she can’t choose what decisions you make for your family.

She's obviously clueless.
A 3 day wedding 2 hours away isn't doable for you.

No way would I leave a 6 month old for 1 day let alone 3! Toddler may be ok if you have supportive in-laws to look after them but not a young baby. Your sis and mum are being really thoughtless. I’ve never been to a wedding where close family children and babies have been included in the ‘no children rule’. Very strange request especially from your sister/mum.

I would go and take the children, book suitable accommodation, if they are not allowed into any of the venues I wouldn't go to those bits, or take turns with dp on looking after the children. Tell her they are too young to leave (which I think they are), but their presence won't interfere with anything. Or if she prefers you won't go at all, all of us or none of us.

How far away is the wedding? Surely you only have to go for a few hours. Let the children’s Dad look after them.

Right and if we think that’s hard on the mum, who knows and understands why they are apart, imagine how horrible it will be for the baby who will probably be panicking the whole time.

My sibling got married recently and had a similar no children rule.

I have a 4 year old DS. I didn’t attend and that was only for 1 day. 3 days is ridiculous.

I’d decline the invite and arrange a great weekend with my DS.

I’ve never been to a wedding of a family member where family children (nieces/ nephews/ under 18 cousins) have never been invited. That’s weird. I’m Irish though and family weddings can be huge.
weddings of friends I have no problem children not being invited and actually prefer it as I have it’s of family to look after dc.

your options are
speak to your sister
you and dh go and you find childcare
you go and dh looks after kids

I’d go for the ceremony, reception, and that’s it. Don’t complain or make a fuss, just state it as a fact thats all you can manage.

When is the hen do as I assume you will be pregnant/have a newborn then too.

I work full time and weekends with my children are important to me and so I'm sad to have to spend 2 days away from them.

It's one weekend out of their whole lives.
Babies and toddlers can ruin weddings. Noise, fuss, parents up and down like yo-yos and going out, leaving early.

I can understand them not being at the ceremony, but are you saying that they can't be there at any point of the three days?

That pretty much rules out taking them up and booking a sitter for the ceremony and wedding breakfast, then.