Sister's wedding and no children invited

So...it's her wedding. Who cares...

Very much do. I have 2 children of my own. But you can’t take EVERYONES circumstances into your wedding decisions. Like l said they are paying for it and organising it. Plus it’s THEIR wedding
Fine don’t attend 🙄. It’s hardly a power move, when you have children then you can’t always do everything you want and it’s just one of those things. It’s best accepting that sooner rather than later

Apologies, I clearly responded before having read all OP’s posts, and can’t now edit again.

You’re her MOH?! And she’s made it logistically nearly impossible for you to attend? 🤯

Was this before you fell pregnant with number 2, OP?

Still, goodness!! 😬 Is this being controlled by the groom? Why so totally inconsiderate to her own sister and MOH?!

I didn’t go to my siblings wedding for the same reason. They got married abroad & I was expected to go for a week & leave my 7 month old baby home with my in laws

This.

Although, maybe stay near by it, save the travel, and make a weekend of it for yourself?

Would it be worse though, seeing a bit of it and then having to leave?

Are you close with your sister?

Sorry, OP.

Just go for the wedding day and skip the rest.

I wouldn't be going. I wouldn't leave a 6 month old and toddler with someone I barely know, even for a few hours. It would have been grandparents and DH only at that age, and obviously they will all be at the wedding.

I know it's her day and her rules but I think it's twattish behaviour not to invite your own sister's young children and force her to make an difficult choice. Clearly desperately insecure that a baby might draw attention away from her for a single moment of her 'special day'.

Because all the people they trust will be at the wedding, and the hotel isn't child friendly.

@Relocater123 Aside from her DH, with whom could she leave a six-month-old baby for three days? They can’t stay in the hotel as it’s a childfree venue.

@Lyraloo How will the baby be fed? I agree that it’s different with an older child. I was a MOH when DD was a toddler.

For goodness sake, all you self entitled people saying, if my children aren’t welcome, I’m not coming! Grow up! It’s your sisters wedding, a really special day in her life. You have every weekend with your children, it’s not going to hurt you or them for you to be away for a couple of days, or if you’re really that worried, at least go for the day and see her married and do the reception.
Its their choice to not want children, and the way so many parents behave with their children being the be all and end all of everything, it’s no wonder they want a child free day. I’d never forgive my sister for missing my wedding because she couldn’t leave her children for a few hours!

Why is she having to leave them at home? If she’s staying 2 hours away why can’t she do like our other guests and keep them near by with someone they trust? We are also doing 3 days but optional for anyone to attend as many days as they like

@Relocater123 that's very different to expecting your sister to leave a 6 month old baby at home for 3 days.

I would be disappointed too. It is her wedding but I would feel the same as you. A family member has done this too and I want to be there but it’s an inconvenience. DP explained it’s also a cheaper option, which I had never considered.

I hope you all find a way forward so you all have a wonderful day.

We have it that they are coming but we have arranged a nanny for in the hotel for the day.

That's very considerate of you. So many brides wouldn't do this, then throw a strop when parents of small children who can't get childcare can't attend the wedding. You have clearly thought it through.

Sorry OP but I’m a bride next year and my sister has the only young children in our family who are 3. We are having a no kids wedding and as much as I adore my nieces I’d rather they aren’t there because we all know they won’t get it, nor enjoy it. It’s the one day me and my partner are completely financing, and my parents as soon as they are around only concentrate on them. Everything becomes about them and their needs (which 99.9% of the time I agree with and am onboard with) but for one day the .1% I don’t want the rest of my family to be on alert and having to help with toddlers nor wondering if I’m going to have sticky hands down me. (Which normally is completely fine, I look after them every other weekend happily and enjoy the chaos) I want my family celebrating with us and present in our creating the family union. We have it that they are coming but we have arranged a nanny for in the hotel for the day. Others who have breastfeeding children have asked to book extra rooms and have sorted childcare/ other grandparents to travel with them so they can nip back to do feed etc. they have made work arounds rather than not attend. Is there a reason you can’t think of anything else other than not attend? Would your sister have not attended if she were in your shoes?

I’d go to the church part but then leave. People are allowed not to have children at weddings but it doesn’t mean you have to go. I wouldn’t leave my six year old for three days for anyone’s wedding.

It would be a no thank you from me. There's no way I'd go even if she relented.

I'm shocked your mother would think these arrangements are acceptable. Your sister has no children, so maybe clueless. You could well still be feeding a 6 month old baby! Just tell her that you will not be leaving your children for 3 days and she should choose another MOH. One without children.

You clearly don't understand what it is to have a 6 month old baby. 6 month old babies don't spend 2 days a way from their parents. My daughter is 10 months and has only spent 4 hours away from me and that's with her grandma!
Very selfish society we live in with attitudes like this, babies and children aren't pets that can just be looked after by anyone. If I left my daughter at 6 months old to be looked after another person for 3 days she would spend half of it hysterical and crying. Also, how about if the mother is breastfeeding?
Parents also can set their own rules which is, if my children aren't invited then I won't be able attending thank you.

I agree with the book a hotel nearby to attend one day only for the ceremony. My parrot wasn't invited to my sons miles away so I could only stay one night. They had no children policy 2. I can't say I blame them as having children for one means allowing all to bring them. All the extra catering for children with specific dietary needs would be a nightmare too. Children don't understand it's not their day & expect to be centre of attention in many cases. I would get the hotel. Set up nanny cam and hire a babysitter for one night and share care intermittently the rest of the time. Good luck!

Personally I would want my family at my wedding children or not, so yes she can choose who comes but I would feel hurt too on your shoes.
also who on earth would look after your 6 month old and toddler if both your husband and mom are at the wedding? I can only think mother in law as personally I wouldn’t be leaving my children with anyone else. As others have said it is perfectly reasonable for you to attend just the ceremony.

I wouldn’t want to leave a 6 month old over night.

You sister can have a child free wedding but she needs to accept that that also comes with consequences.

Personally I’d say both of you go to the ceremony and meal after. Don’t stay for the evening and come home.

I you feel comfortable leaving your children overnight, your husband stays home and you stay the wedding night and come home after breakfast.

@Girlgirlboygirl It’s feeding the baby that’s the issue. My guess is that she’ll have to meet her husband in the car park to bf every few hours as they can’t stay in the hotel!

@Monokrom In this particular situation, what’s your advice to her OP and her DH on how to ensure that she attends the wedding as MOH?

I’m not being snarky, I genuinely want to know what the solution is with an bf baby. Note that the venue won't allow children to stay overnight so her DH can’t look after the baby in the hotel while she’s at the wedding/reception, etc. He may not even be able to bring the baby into the hotel.

I think you have a right to feel the way you do, as sisters and MOH the Bride should really consider about wedding party situations and maybe discuss what arrangements could be made if children are not allow.

Its her wedding at the end of the day, but I think shell prob regret the decision, ive been to weddings where on the Bride or 1 or 2 guest were allowed to bring children.

That being said you will regret it if you do not attend. If you do not have anyone to have the children over the weekend maybe you can find a nearby venue that allows kids and a friend can look after them during events.

Or They can stay with your partner (if applicible) at home and your partner just drives down on the wedding day so you only need a sitter that day and then your partner drives back.