Sister's wedding and no children invited

i wouldn’t leave a 6 month old for that long. Wouldn’t want to and it’s too unpredictable what they will be like.

If it was in a nice area and it suited I might turn it on to a family mini break. Stay with your family nearby. Then go to the ceremony in the morning. Leave after a photo and return for dinner part. Leave shortly after.

but equally you have a good reason not to, although it seems like making a statement. Babies in arms are usually exempt from no children rules as they can be breast feeding!

Simply because she and her husband wanted a child free evening do. His children went back to their mum’s but I didn’t have that option, all the responsible adult members of my family were at the wedding and I was a long way from home.

This is probably what I would do. I would attend the actual ceremony and stay for a short time at the reception but then drive straight home, leaving DH with children for the day. 2hr drive makes this just doable. Or I might stay overnight but just one night - the wedding night and leave early the next day - though with a 6 month old, I would probably come home the same day

Just go for the day. Or one night and be gone in the morning. I don't think a wedding is today place for a 6 month old. She cant expect you to be there for the whole 3 day shindig though.

Completely understand about not wanting to leave a 6m old baby, however it’s your sisters wedding and she can do as she pleases. YABU to expect her to change her wishes to accommodate you. If you don’t like it, don’t go.

Of course she can have the wedding day she wants, but she can't insist that her sister attends for three days, leaving her children, one of which will be a six month old baby.

The bride and the bride's mum's expectations of OP are unrealistic and quite unkind:

'The expectation from my Mum and Sister is that me and my husband attend the wedding without our children without complaint and sort and pay for any childcare arrangements that are required.'

Ah I missed that update. Just wondering if there was any reason she’d feel it was acceptable ie op had a child free wedding so nothing wrong with her having it.

No real reason for her to ban her nieces then.

Is there trouble in his side with relatives with kids??

You need to have a serious conversation with your sister and make her realise just how difficult this is for you. Ask her to reconsider. If she refuses to budge then you’ll have to let her know there’s a limited amount of time you will be available to be there as her maid of honour (and sister!). You won’t be able to stay overnight either side of the wedding day and will have to leave the event sooner than you’d have liked at the end of the wedding day. You’ll also be extremely sad not to have your husband there with you but she’s left no other option as you can’t leave your toddler and young baby with anyone else for such a long period of time. That’s your compromise.

This is bonkers. Does she not realise that you have young children?

Expecting to you be away from three small children for 3 days is ridiculous. Just don't go but wish her well. You can't change her requirements but it's really not compulsory and I think few parents would agree to it in your situation.
As an aside, I also think three days for any wedding is ridiculous and I couldn't bear it even without the kids question.

I get this OP. My sibling didn't invite my DC (who were aged 10-14 at the time) because his wife had 'too many children on her side'. They were all first and second cousins, which to me isn't the same as nieces/nephews. It would have been unthinkable to me not to invite his children, my only nieces, to my wedding.

It's very easy to say just don't go then but most of us would feel an obligation to be at our sister's wedding. I would be really hurt in this situation too OP.

Blimey. Why did she ban them from the evening do?

It’s up to your sister whether she has a child free wedding, and up to you whether you arrange child care to be there. But whether you go or not, you’ll feel uncomfortable and it will linger.

My two girls (7 and 5 at the time) were bridesmaids for my sister when she got married 250 miles away from where we live. But they were banned from the evening do and I (MOH) had to spend the evening entertaining them in our hotel room, missing the whole thing. She wouldn’t budge on the decision. I love my sister but I’m still sore about it 13 years later.

This.

Couples can invite and not invite whoever they want to their weddings. That's where their ability to have what they want stops.

She has said that she had children at hers.

You can’t leave a 6month old for 3 days even if you have all the notice in the world. If the OP isn’t breastfeeding then I guess her DH could stay at home with the kids but I wouldn’t have left mine for that long at that age.

OP, I would drive up, go to the actual ceremony while DH looks after the kids and then drive back. It will be a totally shit day for you, your DH and the kids.

Did you have a child free wedding OP?

You can go for the day and then go home. Or leave the kids with your husband for the weekend 🤷‍♀️

I went back to work full time when both my babies were quite small ie I was quite used to and was OK being apart from them.
BUT it was because I needed to earn money. It was a pain. Expressing milk, missing them, trying not to feel guilty but feeling it anyway.
I wouldn't have done that for anything other than work (or say a funeral or something) - certainly not to keep my sister happy. It would make me feel that my sister didn't know me at all.

Fortunately I come from a family where children have always been a part of big celebrations. Same for my peers. I think I went to one evening do where we needed to find childcare.

Other than that...kids came to all weddings. Oh, not now they're great lumps and I'm going to 2nd weddings!

How exactly does an overexcited toddler and a 6 month old baby add to the happy and emotional moments?

For lots of people they don’t.

Sometimes they’re not cute and funny, they’re noisy and annoying. Every single child in the world can be noisy and annoying. Your delightful might be someone else’s obnoxious.

I actually like children but I absolutely defend the right of any couple to not invite children to their wedding.

One of these children is either tiny or hasn’t even been born yet if the baby will be 6 months old next year. And there are no other children at the wedding where they will have to move their venue completely to accommodate them.

I wouldn’t go - you shouldn’t have to tie yourself in knots to attend a wedding. She can pick someone else to be her MOH

Because what she wants is two things that aren’t compatible.

Her sister to be MoH and presumably be there for the whole 3 days.
&
A childfree wedding, where her sister has to leave her children, including a 6 month old baby, for 3 days.

My son is getting married next May 2026 and its a "no children" wedding but has still invited his sister's children (8 and 3 yrs) and have also included them in the ceremony (best man/child and flower girl) as he knows his sister wouldn't be able to go if not. My daughter is a single mum and wouldn't leave her children with anyone for a full day apart from me and her brother, so its a no-brainer really. If he had said no children at all, someone would've had to miss out and he knew that.

I hope your sister realises this and invites you all. But if not, then at least I think that you could attend the ceremony day and your husband can have the children. Such a shame though.

No reason to make that assumption about maternity leave.

The OP has said she'll be working FT by then. If she's in the UK or various other countries her DH could be taking some of the leave by then. Or they could both be back at work. Each is plausible, especially when we've been told OP will be working.

I know! That's why I don't want them at my wedding!