Sister's wedding and no children invited

I would just tell your sister that you can't.

My best friend did this - I was a bridesmaid but I had a 18 month old who was difficult for me to leave overnight because of medical issues. We missed the Friday night activities, drove down on the day and then had to drive home again after the evening party to prevent my mother being up all night with a child that couldn't sleep without me. It was grim as fuck.

Oops sorry, my mistake!

I wouldn't go.

The venue has accommodation which we are pre-booked into - I am told this is not child friendly (no travel cots, toddler beds, high chairs or changing areas).

Don’t do this. You will run yourselves ragged. Either sister relents for her own flesh and blood, or you don’t go. Simple.

Have you thought about asking MIL or FIL to come with you to the place you're staying and look after the kids for the day? That way you're not leaving the kids for too long, they'll be close by for your own peace of mind and you'll still get to share in your sister's celebration?
I am sure if she has said 'no children' what-so-ever she is going into the celebrations knowing that some people can't commit that time.

I understand people not wanting to invite (and pay for) all their friends' and cousins' children at weddings, but I absolutely judge people who exclude their own nieces and nephews. I think it's awful.

And there's no way I'd leave a 6 month old that long, even if I could find (and afford!!!) someone willing to look after a baby and toddler that amount of time, which is a VERY long shot. Especially if you're breastfeeding. I went to an overnight hen do when my baby was 6 months old, and it took me 2 weeks to pump enough milk (as there were days when I didn't have time to sit and pump, with a toddler running around too), and then the baby refused to take a bottle anyway so I had to come home early.

You have miSsed ted part where the hotel the sisters booked them all into doesn’t take kids.

if my sister deliberately made it this difficult and stressful for me to come to her wedding i’d be royally fucked off

if the sister wants her there she should, obviously, make it easy and enjoyable for her to go

Gotcha. Thanks.

Your sister can do as she likes but there are consequences of her actions. If she acts like this and pisses off people they won’t forget it.

I went to an overseas wedding about 20 months ago and I’ve had nothing to do with the close relative since. Their behaviour, sense of entitlement and inconvenience to everyone was off the scale. So much so that I just can’t be arsed to spend time with them since.

People always say things like 'her wedding her choice!' but if my sister pulled this I'd honestly look her in the eye and ask if she'd taken complete leave of her senses

It’s her you need to talk to about this not mumsnet.

Can you say to her KINDLY and honestly you are getting the impression she doesn’t care about you being there and really underline the fact you probably won’t be able to be her moh? You understand it’s her wedding but it has hurt you that she’s made it so difficult for you

She probably doesn’t grasp how not ok it woUld be to leave a baby that small for that long

Side note but the kind of person who bans children from their wedding is not the kind of person I like. She’s lucky you’re even contemplating trying to make this nonsense work

Yes this is what I’d do, or a variation of . I wouldn’t want to miss my sister’s wedding. Nor would I want to “push back” or risk family relations . It’s her wedding, her choice .

I personally wouldn’t attend a siblings wedding if my children were not invited. I’d have no one to watch them, so I’d have to decline.

we invited nieces and nephews to our wedding as they are part of the family, we would never have excluded them.

Your sister is not BU to not want kids there but she is being unreasonable to expect you to attend.

Either book child friendly accommodation for your husband and kids nearby and only you go to the wedding, staying with the kids and husband each night, or if thats not satisfactory then just say sorry you can't make it.

I wouldn't want to leave my kids for 3 days with someone.

What is this thing about having a wedding stretching over 3 days now? I have been invited to one in South America and the cost of the whole thing is just ridiculous. I estimate over £15K and I am not prepared to pay that for a few days in that country.

These posts are repetitive and so boring!

Her and her partner are well entitled to invite anyone they want to their wedding, and omit anyone. You can either choose to go or give it a miss.

We didn't invite children because we were struggling with infertility and wanted our wedding day to be free from a constant reminder of it. And we make no apologies for it either.

But that aside, a 3 day wedding? What?

The bride has said that. OP has said that the clear expectation from her sister and mother is that her and her husband leave the children at home, pay for childcare, and stay in the pre-booked accommodation that doesn’t allow children.
That’s what I meant about the bride “having the wedding she wants” not really being possible here.

Go alone and leave your husband with the kids then no expense and no guilt as they’re with their dad and you can go have fun

Say no to 3 days, you can manage childcare for one day only. And then wait for her to have a baby and invite her to all kinds of unreasonable things.

OP what are you going to do?

I think 6 months old is too tiny to leave for 3 days, you have two choices really

1. regretfully decline and say you can’t be her maid of honour

or what I personally would do

2. book an air b&b that is child friendly and get DH to look after the children there whilst you attend the ceremony. If your in laws are hands on, you could ask them if they would come away with you so that DH and you can also attend some bits together, before heading back to the children. Option 2 is probably the best if you want to keep everyone happy, it does seem a little odd she hasn’t included her nieces/nephews. We had a no children policy at our wedding apart from babies in arms, and both my siblings had child free wedding except for nieces/nephews who attended the ceremony and meal afterwards but were collected by in laws before the evening events.

Apologies I have reported to get it removed.

You go husband looks after kids I don’t see the issue tbh.