Sister's wedding and no children invited

It's the bride and grooms day, it doesn't have to revolve around parents of young children.

That's fine, but then you also have to accept that the parents of young children may not be able to attend.

The only reason I made the assumption was because she said “I work FT” and I thought maybe she was just typing in a rush and hadn’t realised she’d be off work at the time, that’s all.

I think this is fine if that’s your view. But I think the OP is struggling because it’s “expected” that she get childcare sorted - the bride hasn’t given options or said “but I understand if you can’t”. It’s just expected that people can palm their kids off. 1. Massively expensive and hard to find someone you trust; 2. What person would leave their 6m old for 3 days??

people who don’t want kids at their wedding - fine. But they can’t expect everyone to then attend.

Not a chance I would prioritise my sibling’s wedding for a weekend over looking after my own children, but you clearly want to do that, so not sure what your AIBU is?

I think I would do this option. Then there’s a balance.

Having children at weddings doesn't detract from the bride and groom. They're still central, it's always their day.
I suppose it's what you're used to, and what your children have grown up with.

I don't know that society is becoming anti-children, I think it's becoming anti parents who think their children should be as adored by everyone as they are by them. It would be great if all small kids could be relied upon to behave but of course they can't, that's the nature of small children and Little Johnny running up and down the aisle isn't a cute memory for all, neither is Tallulah crying through the dinner because she's overstimulated.

Its also not awesome for everyone's happy day when parents are distracted and preoccupied with tending to their children's needs all day and leave early because 'the kids come first of course you'll understand when you are as amazing as we are and have angels if your own'.

I like kids, but I don't like kids at weddings. It's the bride and grooms day, it doesn't have to revolve around parents of young children.

Its not unreasonable to ask for a child free wedding, but its also very reasonable for anyone with children to decline! You can't have it both ways, if you want child free you just have to take it on the chin that parents with young children will decline.

She is 100% unreasonable to ask you to be a MOH without mentioning her wedding will be child free knowing full well you have children though. There is no way I would be away from my child that long unless they were with close family, even then I was only comfortable with 1 overnight with grandma at 3 years old. Dsis and Dm need to wind their necks in!

I get that some people prefer child free weddings however I do think not inviting children that are very close family strange. They are so little so I imagine leaving them would be hard and your family would be tied up in the wedding anyway!

If yours are the only children in the family, I do think it’s mean.
Dh and I had a mostly childfree wedding but I could not possibly have excluded my sister’s 2 1/2 year old and 6 month old baby. They were no problem at all.

What thoughtful hosts, I bet everyone had a great time!

Exactly this. ^ Not exactly rocket science is it?!

When my first child was 5 months old we went to a family wedding. They had a dedicated room with three babysitters and even a quiet room off to the side with several travel cots in it for babies who needed to sleep.

It was honestly the best thing ever and I have such fond memories of that wedding because the couple really did a lot to make sure their guests was were properly taken care of.

I think id just go for the wedding and the meal then head home if it’s not easy to find a sitter. End of the day it’s their wedding and they are entitled to do it as they want to do. I wouldn’t make any fuss, just state your intentions and do that. Weddings are great but cause so much fall out over one day. We didn’t have children at ours apart from the page boy and FGs because if the expense. They were welcome et evening do. It was easy thigh as there were no chn in immediate family. Although our wedding lasted for one day (afternoon really). I can’t abide the multiple days worth. Yes it’s lovely, and exciting, but sometimes I think there are folks who don’t get that it’s not as important to others as it is to them.

I definitely wouldn’t be attending OP. There’s no way I’d have left mine for that long at the ages yours are for anyone’s wedding, and I’m always stunned that people treat their own nieces and nephews like this. I asked my husband’s brother’s daughters (so my nieces by marriage) to be my flower girls and had them in all my photos with my sister and best friend, let alone if they had been my own sibling’s children! This new trend is very disturbing in my opinion. Hope you are OK ☺️

That's my experience exactly. Everyone having fun and joining in the day. Plus children soon understand when to be quiet and how to behave.
It does make for a very happy occasion. I can't imagine my sisters not wanting my children at their weddings, and vice versa.

I'm always amazed at bridezillas who lack the emotional intelligence to understand that if you invite your family to a child free wedding that lasts over several days that siblings with children may not be able to attend because all their childcare options will be at the wedding.

@BigSister1991 does your DH have any family who can help out?

Indeed. It appears that the entitlement often cuts both ways when it comes to child-free wedding.

There were lots of children at my wedding, ranging from 1 yo to 15yo. There was no screeching or misbehaving, it was a lovely day and seeing the children on the dance floor having loads of fun with family and friends made it so much better.

Actual wow.

Has your daughter always been such a precious, entitled diva?

Hers would be one wedding I would NOT be going to!

I wouldn't go. It's completely up to the bride and groom who they invite but I wouldn't leave my young child and baby for 3 days. I'd maybe do it if I felt it absolutely necessary, I wouldn't find it necessary though to attend the wedding of someone who didn't think my children/their own niece and nephew weren't important enough to attend. I'd have no hard feelings towards them, I just wouldn't put myself out so much for them.

Have you missed the part about DH being expected to attend for the whole thing sans kids also?

Unless the wedding was planned 1.5 years ago before you were pregnant with the first one then I'd be declining. She has a right to have a child free wedding but to make it a difficult as possible with a 6 month old baby is hard and expecting you to leave them for 3 nights is not fair. The wedding day itself fair enough but expecting you to be there before and after for an additional 2 nights. No thanks

It's THREE days!

Also........ 🙄

A three day wedding is a bit much really. I’d probably rather stay at home with the children than do all that.