Sister's wedding and no children invited

This is such a sad trend. Id send my apologies.

We had a child free wedding, largely because my cousin’s kids were feral and trashed the disco at my other cousin’s wedding a few months earlier. But this certainly didn’t exclude teens/tweens or very small children and babies.

In a similar situation with a younger baby and slightly further travel, I just didn't go. I would step down as MOH and stay with my baby. I wasn't leaving a fully bf baby for three days. She is free to choose but not free from the consequences of that choice.

My sister got married nearly 3 years ago, and didnt invite my kids (well stepchildren but i habe been in their lives for over 9 years at the time), my son was 14 and my daughter was 8 yo. It was a Friday wedding and my wife's family refused to look after them as my sister had invited all my other nieces and nephews, some older some younger and left my 2 children out. Needless to say I was extremely upset as I have cancer and wouldn't be able to drive myself as I was receiving treatment so was exhausted and sick. I refused to leave my wife and kids for even a night as a matter of principle but compromised in going to just the service. It is 3 years since 90% of my immediate family have spoken to me (parents included, stating I was being selfish and an inconsiderate tw*t of a son and brother), some of my 5 siblings have had children since then and I've never met them nor have I been told directly about their pregnancies I have only found out through extended family or family friends and had to pretend i already knew. Extended family know the situation now but family friends I refuse to besmirch them. Stick to your guns, family is family and other guests will realise they are the brides young infant/toddler nephew/niece so attendance is necessary but while it is their day and their invite shame on them for not thinking of their immediate family and shame on your mum/parents for not highlighting the importance of your attending and to make it easier do the right thing and invite your children (their grandchildren). In years to come she will regret her decision if she isn't a narcissistic sociopath.

I had this happen, attended my brothers wedding in Australia, no kids so we had to arrange childcare for the ceremony, only for one of my sisters to bring her kids along.

Just because she’s booked specific accommodation for you doesn’t mean you have to use it. (I hope she paid for it by the way, seeing as she got to choose it.)

Book another hotel nearby for you and your family to use. Pop up to the hotel accommodation sometimes if you like, either just you or both of you one at a time.

I can understand my children not being invited to my friends wedding or my cousins wedding ( we have been to many weddings without our children) but for children not to be invited to my siblings wedding then I’d have a problem. They are the bride and grooms niece and nephew, for me, thats close family. I also wouldn’t want to go to my siblings wedding without my husband as he is part of the family too.

also people saying it’s the bride and grooms choice to have a child free wedding, it would also be my choice whether or not I attend he wedding, it’s an invite, not a summons.

When did weddings become about the perfect day and not a celebration of joining families in all the messy wonderful brilliance. I think some of the responses here are ridiculous and op im sorry I think your sister is a selfish bitch!

Weddings or Instagram reals people, they are commitments to share each others lives and there is NOTHING more important in life than your tribe. Without it humans DIE! We are social animals and we thrive on close connection, your family, be it through blood or friendship is PARAMOUNT to your happiness in life.

Tell your sister that if the kids can't go you will come to the ceremony and then leave, bring the kids and hubby In the car and he can take them for a nice walk and then you can all go grab a coffee and a cake somewhere before heading home. Make a family trip out of it so that she can see how bloody unreasonable she is being

Sorry OP It's a shit situation and I'm not sure I would ever forgive my mum or my sister for this kind of exclusion

This is dark!

It’s 3 days worth of event she’s expected to go for. It’s quite normal to be totally unwilling to leave a 6 month old baby for 3 days.

I never understand what people think you are going to do with a 6 month old baby for 3 days. They don't really do not being with mum. And no, you can't just force a breastfed baby to accept a bottle!

Can you afford to make a long weekend of it, take in laws AND kids and locate yourselves near by, explain you will only attend the wedding itself and not the random other bits (hate people who make a wedding a 3 day haul of barbecues etc). Then have in laws have kids (if you arrange it right you could nip out at bedtime to feed baby if bf?

She’s upset because it’s her SISTER’S wedding and she’s the MAID OF HONOUR and now she has a choice between having to let her sister down and miss her get married or leave her 6 month old baby for three days!! 🤯

This ^^. it’s feeding the six-month old that’s the real issue, not the fact that the wedding is childfree. Babies that age still take the majority of their nutrition from breast milk or formula. Unless the OP is exclusively formula feeding, she’ll have to pump somewhere and if the baby doesn’t take bottles, it’s even more awkward. Speaking for myself, I had to pump or bf every three hours or so, her sister doesn’t want her leaking during the ceremony. 😂

That’s why I also suggested upthread that she steps down as MOH and lets her sister ask someone who won’t be dealing with this.

It would be totally differently if her children were two and four, for example, it’s the baby’s young age that’s the issue.

Lots of weddings don’t allow children it’s not a new thing.
No idea why you are so upset, either get childcare or don’t go.

Even if your MOH, you have a six months old, and I can imagine you would not want them to be with a sitter for 3 days. So this is what I would do.
I would go to the ceremony, dinner and maybe part of the reception and drive home. Even if your husband would stay home with the kids, more then 1 day would be a lot to be away from them.
My SIL had a 4 months old when we got married, and still pumped/breastfeed.
and she chose this option. We had a child free wedding.
we made sure she had a room to pump and were really glad she and her husband chose to attend, even when they said she would leave around 10 in the evening so she’d be home around midnight for the child.
if your sister loves you she would accept something like this.

@99bottlesofkombucha fine, she’s not Maid of Honour then. Like l said you can’t just tweak and bespoke your wedding to everyone who is attending e.g. when l got married my husbands cousin didn’t like the location of the venue -too far into London apparently so didn’t attend. Husband and l chuckled, moved on and gave it no thought

I felt like this before children, people said l would change my mind after children. Still haven’t and probably won’t. Peoples children are the centre of their world fine but l don’t expect them to do that with mine. No need to give it so much head space

Not everyone no. But your sister who you want to be maid of honour?? You most certainly can, instead she’s making it near impossible for her to even go to the wedding.

I couldn’t leave my 6mo for more than a few hours. He didn’t take bottles and wasn’t really eating any food, so I’d need to be back in 3 hours to feed him. The ops sister is really being a dick.

There no chance I’d be leaving a 6 month old for 3 days. And the toddler only if you have someone they know very well who can step in.

That’s poor. I would either -
Stsy nearby and bring someone to babysit during the day (or dh, babysitter and kids stay nearby and you stay with sister )

or you go for the full event and your dh just do ceremony and meal then drive home to relieve babysitter.

or your dh doesn’t attend and you go alone .

Why can't you go to the wedding alone and leave your husband behind to look after the children? You are a blood relative - he is only an in-law. There is no need for you both to miss the wedding. I have been to enough weddings to know that small children can be very disruptove and spoil the occasion. Children of that age grow bored and distracted easily and it might not be much fun for them in any case.

Yes toddler age defo the worst for weddings.

Yes, agree with this. No need for some of the nasty responses on here.

Very polite, caring & considerate response ❤️ No need for the toddler foot stamping advice some others have given.

My goodness the entitlement here is terrible! Sounds like a toddler having a tantrum 🙈 Blackmailing people into changing their dream wedding to suit others. Awful! I’d have told whomever was paying that I’d pay for it myself. What a terrible way to behave.