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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should my child have learnt what I refer to as essential life skills at school?

214 replies

SunriseSunsetFullMoon · 21/07/2025 13:45

like resilience and emotional intelligence?
Situations that arise out in the public domain (educational establishments) that lead to confrontation or bullying or disappointment - is it all my responsibility as a parent to solely educate my child, or should the schools be doing it in the classes?
Some educators see what's happening and appear to choose to ignore the situation, and missing an opportunity to teach better behavior as well as incurring the consequences of ones actions. Or is that just to hard a job for them? And if it is - why?

AIBU to expect immediate consequences for behavior that creates fear or annoyance in others?

Has your child learnt how to critically think through situations - not to rebel, but be responsible and making informed choices. I can only do so much from my point of reference - surely the education system has more to offer than what I can see and have experienced with my child.

Would be interested in your thoughts and experiences.

OP posts:
misseckleburg · 21/07/2025 13:53

SunriseSunsetFullMoon · 21/07/2025 13:45

like resilience and emotional intelligence?
Situations that arise out in the public domain (educational establishments) that lead to confrontation or bullying or disappointment - is it all my responsibility as a parent to solely educate my child, or should the schools be doing it in the classes?
Some educators see what's happening and appear to choose to ignore the situation, and missing an opportunity to teach better behavior as well as incurring the consequences of ones actions. Or is that just to hard a job for them? And if it is - why?

AIBU to expect immediate consequences for behavior that creates fear or annoyance in others?

Has your child learnt how to critically think through situations - not to rebel, but be responsible and making informed choices. I can only do so much from my point of reference - surely the education system has more to offer than what I can see and have experienced with my child.

Would be interested in your thoughts and experiences.

I'd be interested to hear what you think 'teaching emotional intelligence' looks like to a group of 34 children.

Why be a parent if you want to pass the responsibility of parenting to somebody else? Somebody who has likely gone into teaching because they enjoy/are good at a particular subject? I'm an English teacher, I know a reasonable amount about literature and language. I try my best to build resilience when pupils find Shakespeare tough and like to think I have quite high expectations.

Don't blame me when your kid is a brat who can't hold down a job, though. You won't have many teachers left if that too becomes their responsibility.

Postre · 21/07/2025 13:53

It's your job. Schools will encourage and supplement, but they can't start from nothing and give you a child who can do everything you've not bothered with on top of teaching them academically.

Mandy603 · 21/07/2025 13:53

Resilience and emotional intelligence can be encouraged in a child by a parent all through their childhood. It's not something you can just teach and learn like a maths equation when at school.

You need to encourage and teach them so they know how to handle difficult situations at school or anywhere else. If something happens and they handle it poorly then you talk through how they could handle it differently next time. Emotional intelligence is highly teachable. Resilience though is in part genetic, some children will naturally be more resilient than others.

I can't tell though if this is really about kids learning to be resilient or if it's really about something specific that has happened with your child?

SilenceInside · 21/07/2025 13:53

It's nearly all down to you as a parent. With that caveat, a teacher should be creating a positive classroom environment where confrontation and bullying are not tolerated and where positive examples of behaviour, conflict management, disappointment etc are shown by the teacher. But if parents don't do their part then a classroom teacher isn't going to be able manage that whole task on behalf of every child they teach.

outerspacepotato · 21/07/2025 13:53

Those are emotional skills and should be taught in the home.

PandorasBoxers · 21/07/2025 13:51

Surely you can deal with confrontation, bullying, or disappointment at home with things like dealing with others at soft play or play dates with sharing or waiting turns or seeing others with a snack you’d rather have

twistyizzy · 21/07/2025 13:50

FrangipaniBlue · 21/07/2025 13:50

sad to say but I think that ship has already sailed……. we’re already seeing the consequences right now!

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True but current government are expediating the process further

StresHed · 21/07/2025 13:50

I would expect that to be my job

FrangipaniBlue · 21/07/2025 13:50

twistyizzy · 21/07/2025 13:47

Schools are there to teach reading/writing etc.
It is parent responsibility to teach everything else.

The complete lack of parental accountability and farming everything about child rearing out to the state is a sad indictment of our society and it won't end up well.

sad to say but I think that ship has already sailed……. we’re already seeing the consequences right now!

Aspanielstolemysanity · 21/07/2025 13:49

A good school will help develop those skills.
So will a good parent.

FrangipaniBlue · 21/07/2025 13:48

YANBU to expect school to implement consequences for poor behaviour.

YAB hugely U to expect school to teach children resilience, emotional intelligence and to a degree, critical thinking. That’s on you as a parent.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 21/07/2025 13:48

Schools are there to educate on book smarts. Everything else is your job as a parent.

CharlotteSometimes1 · 21/07/2025 13:47

Your child, your job to teach life skills. At school it should be about learning the curriculum.

twistyizzy · 21/07/2025 13:47

Schools are there to teach reading/writing etc.
It is parent responsibility to teach everything else.

The complete lack of parental accountability and farming everything about child rearing out to the state is a sad indictment of our society and it won't end up well.

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