Should my child have learnt what I refer to as essential life skills at school?

Some parents think their job is done once the sperm has fertilised the egg.

It is your job as a parent to raise your children. It is not your child’s teacher’s responsibility to teach them life skills.

Agreed. A good school with FURTHER develop the skills that were initially introduced at home. A GOOD parent will begin to develop these skills BEFORE their child starts school.

One thing that has always shocked me, as someone who has worked in both primary and secondary schools, is that children / young people don't seem to have any understanding of how important telling the truth is.

Another: that clearly, a lot of parents don't teach the basic manners of not walking away when somebody is talking to you.

And another one: if you are speaking to someone, it is your responsibility to ensure that the person you are speaking to can hear you! The number of children who mumble (don't properly open their mouths), or speak in a volume that's impossible to hear, or don't face the person they are talking to is unreal.

Many Y1 & Y2 children in my experience still pat you for attention, rather than saying "Excuse me".

The number of times I've been in a dining hall and a child has put up their hand, amd then when I've walked over to them, they have handed me a bag of crisps / biscuits/ carton of juice to open without using their words is flabbergasting.

Any parents of young children who are reading this -please instill these very basic life skills into your children as a matter of course, from as soon as they start speaking.

As well as being confident in being able to dress themselves before school!

One thing that has always shocked me, as someone who has worked in both primary and secondary schools, is that children / young people don't seem to have any understanding of how important telling the truth is.

Another: that clearly, a lot of parents don't teach the basic manners of not walking away when somebody is talking to you.

And another one: if you are speaking to someone, it is your responsibility to ensure that the person you are speaking to can hear you! The number of children who mumble (don't properly open their mouths), or speak in a volume that's impossible to hear, or don't face the person they are talking to is unreal.

Many Y1 & Y2 children in my experience still pat you for attention, rather than saying "Excuse me".

The number of times I've been in a dining hall and a child has put up their hand, amd then when I've walked over to them, they have handed me a bag of crisps / biscuits/ carton of juice to open without using their words is flabbergasting.

Any parents of young children who are reading this -please instill these very basic life skills into your children as a matter of course, from as soon as they start speaking.

As well as being confident in being able to dress themselves before school!

If it's the school's job to teach emotional resilience and other essential life skills... then what would you consider "parenting" to consist of?

Is your parenting job finished once they can feed themselves and use a toilet? (Although I guess some parents think it's the school's responsibility to teach those things as well.)

Personally, I think that teaching emotional intelligence and resilience are primarily parents’ responsibilities. As PP’s have said, schools can help reinforce those skills but there’s a limit to what they can do with so much children.

I don't think someone in a 30:1 ratio with your child has much chance to teach such soft skills. I would hope the school promotes respect, kindness, effort etc but home is where this should be taught and modelled.

Education is a parental responsibility as is a child's health and wellbeing.

Some parts of education can be delegated to a school environment, or not - you can choose to educate otherwise.

Even if you delegate part of your children's education to school it's not a total abdication of responsibility - it's still shared and you as a parent are ultimately responsible for this - ensuring your child attends regularly and with the correct uniform/equipment/attitude.

I would be very wary of giving away parental rights to a school. They already overstep in many areas and it's also true that some parents seem to think that schools exist to provide all education and parenting.

Your child, your responsibility - always.

I think that there are situations that happen at school where these types of lessons can be taught organically, but for the most part it's a parent's responsibility to teach those sorts of things. Your child has years with you before they even start school. The groundwork at least for most of those things should have been laid by the time they go to school.

I see a complete lack of parenting for lots of students. Time parents stepped up, and PARENTED!

Schools teach academic subjects. Life lessons should always be taught by parents. As well as instilling confidence and mental resilience, parents are also in charge of teaching cookery, money skills, household chores, basic car and home maintenance.

If a child leaves home without these basic skills it is an absolute failure of parenting, not schooling.

We do up to a point. There are personal development lessons. PE, group games, awards etc. That’s where the parents should have laid foundations and support their child with the same values.

There are consequences for behaviour but there is also a limit to what we can do. Internally excluding and missing break times with friends. Speaking to parents at the end of the day.

Schools are doing this, unfortunately some parents don’t have our backs so instead of hearing what we say they focus on how their child is struggling and how it can be our fault. It’s never their child or their parenting. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Schools can (and should) reinforce emotional regulation, but it has to be taught at home.

First answer nails it!

Are you a journalist?

It's both really, certainly not one or the other. There will always be parents who have social problems no matter what, so the school need to teach it aswell. By accepting it is both school's and parent's responsibility one can't offload the responsibility on to the other.

If schools teach skills such as critical thinking and managing emotions then children and young people need practice to master those skills. Surely at least some of those opportunities will be at home, guided by parents?

So if I was teaching in a 60 minute class of 30, where I've got 2 mins max per pupil (if I never spoke to the class as a whole at all in that hour, which is extremely unlikely) when do I have the time to have these deep and meaningful "learning opportunities" and discussions with every kid along with everything else I'm already doing?

Parents of brats think it’s school.

It's the responsibility of the parents. Resilience and emotional intelligence begins in early infancy, this is really not the job of teachers.

Schools do teach critical thinking, in all humanities subjects - it's literally on the English GCSE mark scheme. Resilience and how to understand and manage emotions are already on the curriculum in PSHCE/Citizenship/Life Skills or whatever your school may call it. Do people who say this stuff ever think to check what schools are actually doing before they complain about it?

Yes it’s your sole responsibility. HTH.

Schools and teachers can only do so much - and that’s a good thing.Yes they shouldn’t ignore bad behaviour but I am not a fan of mission creep within the education system. I do not want schools to be the ultimate arbiters of right and wrong; it is my job as a parent to set my children’s moral compass.

I hate this idea that schools should be fixing all social ills - teachers do not have the skills or training to do this - they are not psychologists, doctors, fire safety instructors, social media experts, lawyers, swim coaches, etc… Let them do their jobs and we, as parents, should do ours.

Is it 'too hard a job' for teachers No, of course not. That's not the issue. These things are taught explicitly as part of Personal Development and implicitly as part of general behaviour management and teaching in every lesson in every school. You are perhaps making the mistake of believing that if schools teach something, kids always listen, remember and apply it. And also that all teachers are equally effective at delivering this kind of behavioural education. In all jobs there are people who aren't that great! That doesn't remotely mean that schools aren't teaching this stuff.