Always using the wrong name!

This!

I think you and your six year old should make a string necklace with a large written sign indicating her name.

Also when they first arrive, take SIL aside especially to tell her that now DD is six she recognises her name well and is starting to feel unhappy when her dear Aunt calls her the wrong name. Show Aunt the two names written down. Show her and point out the difference in pronunciation. Educate her.

The t-shirt might work, but there's no guarantee : it depends if your SIL reads it properly - she might not.
If that fails you could try the rhyme solution : it's Amelie like "family" or it's Amelia like the flower "Camelia".

On a personal note, my sister's boyfriend constantly mispronounces her name... he's heard it said often enough, but he just can't remember how to say it right. And that's not an uncommon name either [think Pamela / Pameeler[ As she is an adult we've just given up on correcting him.

Next visit make sure dd is wearing a top with her name on in huge letters... If sil still gets it wrong suggest she gets her eyes tested....

This is quite a weird post. Your child is upset. What are you posting about it here for?

I think you need to do more than just say DDs name correctly, and say to SIL that she is upsetting DD by calling her the wrong name.

Just keep saying the name when she is there. (Disclaimer, you might actually go mad). Oh Mary, yes Mary darling come and say hello to sil. You know sil, Mary was just telling me x, weren't you Mary?
If she doesn't get the mesage and persists it's deliberate.

SIL is being lazy and rude. DD has every bloody right to want to be called by her PROPER name by her relatives. It's an incredibly basic act of totally standard respect.

It is precisely that SIl can't be arsed, or worse is doing it on purpose.

Stick up for your child, and yes it is your place to fight in her corner.

I think you should get your dd to correct her auntie. "If auntie calls you Amelie say 'that's not my name it's Amelia' "
I know someone who taught her 3 year old to do this at preschool when the keyworker was doing similar.

I used to teach in an international school so students’ names could be a minefield. I always asked the children to correct me if I got their names wrong, and to correct me every time and would try to get them correct. I remember finding it difficult with a child called Alice, easy you might think, but she was Italian and it was pronounced quite differently! But as regards the point of the thread, it is very important to children to get their names right as it’s part of their personal identity so yes, you may need to speak to your sister in law.

Likewise she may view you as "hard work" because she got a few things wrong and you posted them on the internet.

Not bashing you for that, its what its here for. My point is that she could look at you and view you the same.

Generally it's the lens you view a person with.
If you go looking for mud, you will find it.
If you go looking for flowers, you will find them.

You have mentioned none of the things you like about her, none of the ways she is good to your children.. So for all we know she could be a loving aunt that lives a few hours away, knows or previously knew another child with a similar name, has brain fog and gets confused. Said something that annoyed you once, but generally loves seeing the children and visiting you both.

I would personally try to look at the bigger picture and reframe how you see her. She hardly sounds toxic.

I do think YABU. Sorry.
Your side is that you're frustrated she's getting the name wrong. You have no idea why.

This happens to me a lot and i'm always MORTIFIED inside. Trying my best does not help. It's a combination of memory/brain fog/ confusion mixed with knowing children with very similar names that im just more used to saying so it tends to come out before brain catches up, much like muscle memory.

Unless you know every part of SILS medical history and what is going on for her, I would leave well alone. She could be feeling absolutely mortified. Getting it wrong doesn't mean she is not trying.

In my experience people often have two main reasons for doing this.

One, they are a bit ditzy and genuinely bad with names. But you'd likely see them get other names mixed up too. They're also likely to say sorry/be a bit mortified when corrected.

Two, they're an arsehole and are trying to exert some sort of passive aggressive power, ie, I can't even get your DDs name right because it's just not that important to me.

You know which one your SIL is most likely to be.

Everytime she does it, just reply with, who's Amelia? (Example) Yes u might look a bit pedantic but it also shows her up and that you are annoyed in a less confrontinal way. But make sure u say it every time, she'll soon catch on!!

@JillMW@PyongyangKipperbangShe didn’t have a northern accent, though, that’s what made it so incongruous. It was definitely a mispronunciation rather than her accent. If it had been a result of her accent then it wouldn’t have been noticeable, and we wouldn’t have corrected her.

Wow thats so unkind! I hope you feel some shame about how you treated her.

Absolutely this!!

I get certain names horribly mixed up (Marie/Maria the absolute worst offender see also Yasmin/Jasmine (I think because my mother tongue uses Js as Ys), Bethan/Bethany. They just won't stick in my head. I'm also dyslexic and have ADHD so think this might be related.

However, when corrected or when realise I did it wrong I'm always embarrassed, apologise and try and find a way to remember it.

From your last post about DS, maybe get him to tell her.
Or a singsong voice correcting her "#dearSiL.... #Amelia doesn't like you.... # misnaming her##" to the tune of something

I was thinking that. Being vile about someone saying the right word in a regional accent is fucking vile. What bullies they were.

I agree in taking her to one side and saying to her that she is saying DDS name wrong and whether she realised she was doing this.
If she then continues using it incorrectly then she is being ignorant. However how often do you see them? I used to teach and had a class I only saw once a fortnight. Every time I would get Mya wrong - not sure that was the correct spelling (I never knew whether it was pronounced My-ah or Me-ah, whichever I chose was wrong) ..

I would a) text her or pull her aside next time shes round and very nicely say "heads up, Amelia was really upset last week because you kept calling her Amelie, I know it was just a mistake but it's very important to her so please call her by the correct name (I suspect if you correct her in the moment she ignores/brushes it off)
B) empower your daughter, you will stick up for her and she has the ability to respond however she wishes, she may want to ignore any questions/requests if the name is wrong, or she may want to correct her auntie. Make sure OH and mil are on board if you think there will be any issues. Also make sure you're available to her to verbalise clearly and provide support. It's a really good life lesson, that it's OK to stick up for something important to you and it's OK to be firm on it.

I think if your daughter were still a baby, I'd be saying ignore her. As it now is upsetting your dd you have to put a stop to it, even if it is awkward for a bit!