Partner won’t put me on deeds to the house

Regarding you returning to work, just do it. He cannot decide. It will give you stability in case anything goes wrong. And then... you can be on the mortgage and the deeds.

OP you are obviously young enough to ensure your life doesn't pan out to be trapped and beholden to him and his whimsical nature, you need to restart work.

OP what is your line of work? How easy would it be for you to find a job?

If you really want to, he cannot stop you. But you would need to work out childcare logistics and finances.

Are you able to assert yourself generally in the relationship? How much agency do you have?

Are you listening to what everyone is saying and advising? This is serious.

1. do not have a kid with someone who hasn't married you unless you jointly own all major assets
2. do not stop work for a man who hasn't married you/if you have no assets.

All you have done is provided free live in childcare/housekeeper services to this man.

Right but presumably she did so because she thought they were a partnership? (A reasonable assumption given the relationship and the procreation and all…) She’s now discovering he doesn’t feel the same way.

How old are you? Because naive, younger me would see this as a “omg! I’m ✨ the one ✨” but present day me would see this as a red flag and a man not ready for commitment - much less the life changing decision of having a child together.

It depends. Does putting your name down as owner make the mortgage more expensive or difficult? If so, then a will, you as his beneficiary on the life insurance may be better.
If you are buying cash, then yes, your name should be in the deeds.

what do you mean the relationship is a bit rocky OP?

That’s crucial. If the relationship has been going really badly then… to be honest it might be sensible not to put you on the deeds.

He's the Father of her child, did you purposely miss that massive piece of information out to make your argument appear more acceptable? He should want to have a stable environment, where the Mum is a an equal and is out on the house deeds of a new house or he should actually mean it if he states he wants to marry the OP. He won't though as that will actually involve him taking responsibility!

Then go back to work.

He doesn't get to make all the decisions about your life and your financial security.

Can I ask why you had a child with this man? You had known him for three years and so should've had a reasonably good idea regaeding his values (or lack of)?

He can’t have it all his way.

He doesn’t want you to work and doesn’t want you to be on the deeds.

What do you want??
Do you want to work?

If there's an age difference then he may have an advantage to having bought a house before OP....not everything is straightforward.

Get a job
Get married
Don’t have a 2nd child until you are confident about the relationship

If I had busted my backside buying a house on my own in tbis day and age I would not add a partner of 5 years to it. Absolutely no way. Start contributing financially / buy your own place
.he doesn't sound great but you are unreasonable to demand that

Well this is why you are meant to get married before having children.

Do you plan to marry each other?

Tell him you have no security and therefore you need to return to work and build up a pension. If he doesnt want your child in nursery he'll need to stay home with them.

Dont have another child unless you do marry him - and think hard about whether you want to.

He's not unreasonable for keeping the house in his name but get married (not just a promise for the future but now) or get out.

He’s financially abusing you as well as being controlling and domineering.

he is not your boss.

you can go back to work and he needs to cover his share of childcare costs. It’s a shared parental expense.

do not have any more DC - if things are a bit rocky why consider having more DC with him?!

He sounds controlling and mean at best.

I actually think he's being financially abusive, you're living off your dwindling savings while he won't let you work yet won't give you any of your own money. He's benefiting from having you at home to do chores and childcare. Let me guess he goes out and you don't. Who pays for things for your DC?

She didn’t have to put herself in this situation. It was a choice.

Because if they break up he doesn’t lose out on anything - he still has a house, so it’s not a risk for him.

I moved in with DH as he owned his own property before we met...I fell pregnant very quickly and got married a few months before the eldest was born. I had no intention of getting married after children arrived. Be smart and know your rights especially for your DC.

Got 4DC, still happily married almost 20 years later. Know how to protect yourself OP. Be smart about it.

I was not interested in a romantic wedding, only a quick registry office wedding that took ten minutes. DH wanted the reception. So he got that.

What a dickhead comment.
And clearly you have no clue about social housing. I have a friend on the council house list. Her husband won’t leave, she has no where to go. Can’t work as she is a full time carer to a severely disabled child so can’t rent or save as he controls finances. She’s been told 2-5 years wait.
council houses aren’t just given away.

It would appear this is what she has chosen, she could have refused.