Ex signed son up to play for football

So to answer this one - you are allowed to play school football and court is covered in this as selection is through the school . School is considered more important as a whole and contributing to your school is fine. You may find the four training sessions for academy football conflict with school training though but that’s another topic.

I know this as my son plays category 1 academy football and has gone through county selection.

You can’t play for anyone else as per your contract though.

OP your post doesnt make a lot of sense. Sorry but I’ve been through grassroots, county and now kids at cat 1 academy and I don’t recognise anything you are saying.

County football happens through school. It doesn't happen through grassroots selection. You don’t put your kid forward. The achool nominates them and they go to trials and are selected. There would be coaches to take the kids. Matches arent 4-5 hours away - they purposefully have you play the counties around you until you get to nationals - then they meet in the middle. You maybe have a small handful of games.

Or if it’s Academy football-
Academy football wouldn't have matches 4-5 hours away unless older than your son and coaches are put on (in fact they are out on for every away game). They purposefully divide the country into two for premier league matches to avoid children travelling hours and hours. The southern teams play each other (Chelsea, Arsenal, Fulham, Reading, Palace etc) and the northern teams play each other (Man City, Liverpool, Leicester etc) and then nationals happen where the kids stay over (paid for by the club) and play at Loughborough for example in the ‘middle’.

its hard to know how to advise as I’m not sure you have the full details….

Yes I know she’s his MUM. Usually parents make decisions together, especially when the other parent will be negatively affected, ie by driving for hours every week. In this case the father has made the decision on his own without consultation or considering whether it’s logistically possible for the MUM to facilitate this. It’s not, so dad will have to make it happen himself.

Can dad pay for Ubers there and back?

Your ex needs to change his working pattern or hire a babysitter to take him or befriend one of the other parents and ask them to give son a list. It's on him to sort it out.

"He’s not shirking his responsibilities. The practice schedule changed. Geez"

What are you talking about, he signed his son up, his responsibility to take him, not the Mother who has other children. If the schedule changed its not the Mothers fault he either works around it or finds someone else to take him. He does not get to bad mouth the Mother, by expecting her to do it, he is shirking his responsibility.

He’s not shirking his responsibilities. The practice schedule changed. Geez.

If your son is so good, the club will arrange transport.
It is a huge commitment but the opportunities it offers are amazing, not just if they make it professionally but even during the academy times- European tournament's, private schooling etc.

Maybe try speaking to club about the difficulties youre facing. Its a great experience for the child but as pp, huge commitment as far as time and money, and also growing up norms- sleep overs are limited, food is controlled, they have to be disciplined

The son is 12. A daughter is 6. According to OP elsewhere.

Single parents make this happen on the regular. They just get creative. If you have three kids with three different men, and your visitation is such that this is a problem, consider changing that. Or, toughen up and handle having three kids simultaneously with things that need to get done. Moms do it all of the time. Three kids isn’t totally outrageous to care for on the go. Lots of women do it with no help full time, and you’re only being asked to do it one night a week. You can do it.

PS - I also listed NUMEROUS suggestions. Weird that you keyed in on one that you think isn’t workable and you don’t remotely know them.

Daughter is 6. Son is 12 and has a much bigger opportunity with more limited flexibility. Daugher can adjust to new dance lessons, which are much more readily available than the opportunity for the son. That’s why.

A committed 12 YO deserves this opportunity and yes, he will likely resent you if he doesn’t get it. You need to figure this out. Just my opinion having raised numerous teenagers to adulthood.

What if the DD doesn't want to move dance lessons? Why should she sacrifice her established class so that her brother can start a new one?

So switch days.

If he’s old enough, uber will take him. Or you can pay someone — a neighbor, college student, older responsible teenager — to chauffeur him around. There are options out there. Just need to figure them out.

Maybe sign up your daughter for her dance classes near her brother’s practice. Carpool one or both children. Maybe drop off daughter with someone also in her dance class ahead of time to ride over. Dress children in pajamas for the ride home. Do bedtime routines before leaving practice for younger siblings. Prep sack lunch dinners or eat early and take snacks. Use a babysitter one night a week. Move dance classes to a different day and/or time. Find someone who lives at least somewhere near you and meet up to drive him over. Split pick ups and drop off with dad and stepparents. Start thinking outside the box! Single parents DO make these things work. I’ve seen it many, many times.

Sometimes it's ok to tell your child that they just can't do something. As parents, we often don't have the resources to facilitate unlimited opportunities for our children... we cannot give them access to every single opportunity that might prove valuable, and we certainly shouldn't do so at the expense of our own wellbeing and the welfare and comfort of other DC. What we can do is make sure that they have access to a reasonable range of opportunities and reasonable support to take advantage of them.

It doesn't make us bad parents because we have to say no, unfortunately you can't do that to our kids sometimes.

She’s his MOM. It’s her job too to figure it out. All of these people who think a child’s problem is only that of one parent are only half-baked parents. EVERY problem your child faces is your responsibility to help with and to address. This baloney about it being one person’s problem simply because they are the primary one involved is absurd.

Ex takes him
You take him
You and your ex pay someone to take him

There are options
If ex wants it to work he takes him or pays someone to take him

All of this. Maybe a babysitter. Carpool. Prep sack lunch dinners to take in the car. Younger changed into pajamas for the ride home. Do homework or reading with younger child at practice. I agree; you make it work.

The kid didn’t ask for the divorce. Parents should figure this out. You sacrifice for your kids.

@Irish999

It isn't just a one night a week activity though is it.
Its potentially weekend matches several hours drive away. The op is worried about transport and hotel bills.

This absolutely is NOT child abuse. Get a grip. Suggesting it minimizes ACTUAL child abuse. You’re up in the night thinking this is “keeping kids up late” to the point of being considered abuse. You might not like it as a parenting choice, but it is nowhere near abusive. Just calm down.

Actually, YOU missed this completely. This isn’t some feminist issue. Dad isn’t some deadbeat. They’re doing activities during his time too. She just doesn’t want activities that fall on a night she has all of her kids. That’s hugely different.