DTD - All ticked off - HIGH FIVE!!!!

Oh hell yes, this is me all over. My dc go to their dads (even though their late teens now) EOW so I know it’s DTD time (small house, thin walls).

I adore my DH, we’re a very tactile, cuddly couple but I have absolutely no interest in sex. I know it’s important to my dh and for a healthy relationship and when I’m in the ‘throws of it, I enjoy it, but tbh I’d rather have a good cuppa and a cuddle any day

*discreet packaging.

So how would you feel if your DH popped into his motorbike forum after going for a walk with you and celebrated how he just spent an hour with you but thank god it’s over now, wahoo! And now he can get back to working on his bike? You sound like a child.

YES is a water based lube that works really well. You can order it online. I think Love Honey do it and it comes in discrete. Superdrug also sell it.

Also, see about getting estradiol pessaries and cream for your vagina and vulva from your doctor for your vaginal dryness and atrophy.

I did feel like you OP. I know a lot (99%) was down to the fact there was deep resentment and unhappiness on my side, but even aside from that, sex just seemed too much of a hassle and a, I’ve done this a million times already I really don’t need to do it again, type of feeling. I’ve been single for many years now and don’t intend on having sex again, (although I was very into it when younger). The funny thing is, although I’m in my early 60s, and not had it for years, I haven’t dried out or had any changes ‘down there’.

Name changed! Im in my 60s and would love to have sex again with DH after a drought caused by severe illness. But what do you use for “dryness”? I tried a couple of things from Boots but nothing really worked. Too embarrassed to ask friends.

Reading this tonight, me to a tee! Nothing to do with ‘being forced’ and everything to do with getting older!

With the greatest respect I think you're way out of line for saying "sex is necessary for a healthy relationship. You don't get to decide if a couple should be having sex or not. Th ere could be lots of reasons why people don't have sex, it doesn't particularly mean their relationship isn't as strong as yours. However I do hate to burst your smug post shag bubble but I wouldn't say having sex to please a man was healthy.

Oh @Braygirlnow that's sad to read.

You're only cheating yourself by faking an orgasm.

I get how hard it would be to confess to your dh, you dont have to do that

You could just say that due to hormones (or stress / tiredness) the things that used to work (to give you the fake orgasm!)aren't working so well anymore. And suggest doing what you know works for you!

Your dh will want you to enjoy having sex with him so its win win. Make it your mission to get maximum pleasure each time.

We're in our 50s. We've been together 27 years. My dh is very loving & generous in bed. He's a great husband in all ways & I feel so lucky that we still have each other.

My libido took a nose dive after our dc was born. We went on to have serous fertility issues & all sorts of failed treatments in an unsuccessful attempt to have a second child. It had a devastating affect on my desire for sex for a long time.

That took a good while to get over & I'm v grateful that dh was patient & loving throughout. He once admitted he was worried I didn't find him attractive enough anymore & that gave me a bit of a wakeup

I realised I'd be devastated if he just lost interest in me sexually & that effectively that's how I'd been making him feel about himself which made me sad.

So I decided to take action. I took some supplements, spoke to GP & got hrt & i decided to focus on raising my own confidence. I lost some weight & got fitter

I also spoke to dh about planning.some nice dates together which also brought back intimacy.

And finally I decided I was not willing to ever fake orgasm again. I suggested some new stuff that I knew would help me & I just went for it.

The by-product was dh was thrilled for me to use him for my own pleasure & tjat in turn made it easier for me etc

Now, we feel back on track & sex is excellent. We're far closer & i feel excited to have sex because I know it'll be good for me each time & he's loving it too

You sort of have to take charge of your own pleasure but its so worth it when you do!

I don't even get that, I haven't had more than 5or six orgasms in my life im 59....I just fake it every week because if I tell him I don't orgasm I think he would be so hurt and believe its his fault but its not its just me I guess...there's all these things to help men but nothing for women.

YUP I totally agree

I personally know several older long-term married couples who are perfectly devoted and ‘connected’ without having sex. They’re over it. I don’t know why there is this myth that you need to do it at all cost even if you’re knackered and you don’t want it. Do people just keep doing this in their 80s, 90s, til their bits turn to dust? I just don’t get it.

I totally understand OP. I was the same. But it came to the point that I didn't love DH, felt resentful, let down etc and I absolutely hated sex. Avoided it like the plague but knew, like you, I'd eventually have to give, to keep the peace and be left alone for a while, until the next time.
I'm single and post menopause now. I have no desire at all to date/have sex.

I’m nearly 60 and exactly the same as you, OP.

If I really didn't feel like sex, I wouldn't have sex, no. If that went on for awhile I'd look into what might be going on with my life, or health, or relationship, that might be causing it and see what could be done about it. I'd have an honest conversation with my partner about it.

You say - 'even though you presumably love your DH' - well, I love him enough not to ever come onto the internet while he's sleeping next to me saying words to the effect of 'thank god I don't have to do THAT again for awhile!'. He would be devastated!