To ask for some concrete examples of ways in which the world is ‘designed for NT people’?

I am ND, and personally I struggle with:

Attention to detail, because I have ADHD. I’m a big picture, conceptual thinker and strategist. Luckily, that’s how I make my living. I also have a stellar (according to DP, ‘creepy’) sense of direction and always know where I’m going. But I can’t put together flat pack furniture, have miserable spatial awareness and would be a terrible witness because I have no idea what any of my neighbors—or their cars—look like. I couldn’t name more than about 10 conventionally famous people and rarely retain the plot of films or books by the month after I’ve watched/read them.

Open-plan anything, but especially offices.

The timing of the working day. Thankfully, I’ve become sufficiently senior in my profession to have autonomy over my schedule because 8:00-5:00 working hours never worked for me (I’m not in the UK, 8:00-5:00 with an hour for lunch is standard). I work 10:00-6:30 with half an hour lunch and I’m much more productive.

The assumption that most people fully understand which rules are okay to break and which aren’t. I seem to be much more bothered than others when people break convention and disrupt others, like playing music aloud in public, being loud and lairy, swearing in front of children, etc or don’t care about things like rules of grammar, safe and proper driving and waiting turns.

Overly loud background music, cinema soundtracks and multiple people thinking it’s okay to talk over one another.

General ‘disorderliness’ really upsets me, too. I can’t live in or around a mess so people littering, behaving like animals in public toilets or being antisocial tends to cause me greater distress than others.

The modern world is designed to make money.

There are concessions to allow the majority to feel happier and be more productive. But even thats about money.

The world most of us inhabit is ultimately formed by the decisions of people that dont have to live and participate in it. As such, anyone who is outside of average will always be adversely affected.

I can give you one for how it’s risked my life. I dont show pain like NT people. I still fucking feel it I just can’t scream and flail about and draw attention but I can clearly state I’m in a lot of pain.

As a child I walked on a fractured ankle for over a week before teachers/parents believed it hurt bad enough for a trip to hospital. I had another fracture and my parents did believe me but again school didn’t and kept me there all day despite me saying in was in loads of pain.

Midwives would not believe I was in labour (not my first child either!) as I wasn’t acting like I was in enough pain. My son had his head out in the corridor before they fucking believed me when I said I can’t stop pushing he’s coming out I had no midwife at all until this point I was repeatedly told I wasn’t in enough pain yet it will be hours.

Finally I’ve been left with perminant damage to multiple things because multiple fucking drs would not believe I was in enough pain for the problem I had that caused it. Months I was dismissed. I left hospital and went immediately to another one where I was given a drip as incredibly dehydrated and antibiotics as was running an infection I’d been left without care and just given painkillers and anti anxiety meds when I had a serious medical problem they didn’t check for. I was telling them I have a history of not showing pain the way they expect and they still believed they knew better because I somehow don’t communicate the way they need. Even when I'm literally saying clear facts and explain you have to listen to what I say not how I act please ask questions don’t make assumptions NT people will smile nod then ignore what I’m saying because I don’t make a scene like NT people and if I do act out then they immediately attribute it to mental health or my autism when it’s fucking medical.

my children are the same. I took one to hospital for a fractured ankle and they completely dismissed me. When his carer met me there and explained he doesn’t show pain normally they x ray and see the fracture. The other one over reacts to pain so when she knocked a tooth wonky falling at school they didn’t check her over. She mopped blood off her head alone in the toilet aged 6 after being told she’s not hurt that bad stop making a fuss and they can’t take her to the nurse as they have to supervise the playground. I immediately saw the tooth out of place when I collected her and she immediately told me she had blood in her hair too. Teacher said yes dd said she was hurt but she didn’t believed it was serious as she always says her tummy hurt when there is nothing wrong. dd has anxiety and constantly moaning about tummy aches never headaches and toothaches but of course to NT teacher the tummy ache is nothing so if she says other stuff hurts that must be nothing too.

There is a difference between the type of neurodiversity. Where some autistic people find it difficult to deal with loud noise and busy places, many with adhd get a big dopamine hit from loud music and lots of people around them.
Some autistic people have great attention to detail and can code and analyse hours of cctv footage, most with ADHD can’t do that but can see the bigger picture, think out of box and find creative solutions. Thats hard for many with autism.
I do think a lot of problems start at school for those with neurodiversity. They can’t work in the way they need to and have to struggle with the education system.

I would say that our British education system (with exams that test memory retention rather than synthesis of a problem) massively disadvantages some people with ADHD who have issues with working/processing memory.

Not in my experience they don't. They make lots of noises about provision and support but don't actually provide any. Apparently there are others worse off whose needs they need to deal with first. And don't talk about funding, the allowances we wanted made for our ND daughter were free (a pass to use the loo during lesson time when they are quiet as an example). After terms of fighting they finally told me that I was just expecting too much too fast. She attends an online school now in clothes she can tolerate in a quiet room with food she can eat and a loo she can use but I am still SO ANGRY with her school that they couldn't make a single allowance for her to at least try and remain in traditional education.

Hand Dryers in loos: TOO noisy, means my ASD daughter won't use a public toilet.
Perfume counters: TOO smelly, she won't go in shops with perfume counters.
Tags in clothing: No item can be worn without tags being removed, removing tags often makes holes in clothes..
Lighting: Why does everywhere have to be lit up like the sun? Many shops are too bright, too noisy.
Schools: They smell funny, they are noisy, the uniform is unwearable due to texture, the lighting is abhorrent, the loos are a torture chamber... Totally unsuitable for most ND kids.

It's totally a fact, most people recognise it as they seeing every day. Pretending it's not true doesn't make it go away.

Utter nonsense. It's about time this divisive lie marketed as a new "fact" stopped getting repeated.

My 2 DC are autistic and I suspect I am too though have never sought diagnosis - largely due to previous interactions with the medical profession.

I do not react in the expected way - I am second guessing myself to the extent I don’t know how to react. There is a gap between feelings and response. I mask. I can be selectively mute as I take so long trying to work out the appropriate response. In some situations I am being observed by those in a relative position of power and my reactions appear odd. I under react. I am overly cheerful or mute. I just can’t get the appropriate NT reaction right. I’m judged and feel profoundly misunderstood which infects the next social communication. I’ve lost count of the ‘mum’s reaction was unusual’ comments. Maybe if I’d sought diagnosis they would be more understanding.

I have MA level education and had to give up a PhD to become a carer and am excellent at written communication with a time gap to organise my thoughts but can’t do face to face to save my life.

Straight out of the "I've drank the kool aid" text book. (I'm guessing you're white and middle class) One day you'll be on the wrong side of history

Clear as day!

Obtuse as fuck!

There's loads of examples if you know someone who is nd and understand the things they find difficult. A recent example for dd was that she loves the Jurassic Park/ World film series. She really, really wants to see the new film but she absolutely will not watch it at the cinema - it's too loud, the pictures are too big and overwhelming. Small example, perhaps, until you consider that all her friends will be able to watch it before her.

Or sports day: kids love excitement, shouting, running around, parental support, don't they? Except if they have problems with sensory processing and performance anxiety about being thrust into the spotlight...

In the first example, only recently have cinemas begun doing ND friendly showings. In the second, lots of children still feel unable to participate.

The best bit about realising I was autistic was realising people weren't being vindictive and nasty to me. People who'd make a plan and then change it at the last minute.
Because last minute changes caused me so much anxiety and panic. And they didn't seem to care. I thought they were so selfish.
48 til I realised not everyone feels like the world is falling apart when things change suddenly. It's changed my life. I still feel that anxiety but I don't feel that people hate me cos they're doing it. And that changes everything.
So that's a less concrete example of how the world is set up. But when I was younger no one taught me that I'd feel and respond differently to the norm. I feel rage for parents who don't want to tell their children they're autistic. I think nowadays schools are set up to recognise and help the kids and that's a really, really good thing.

@WhatsitWiggle absolutely spot on which is why the wheels came off for my ND daughter when she started secondary school. On her first day she was handed a timetable that even I found confusing. We are now two years out of school waiting for a specialist school which is impossible to find due to no spaces. Disgraceful.

For me, it’s all about noise and interruptions, the way that noise and loving noise is seen as normal.

Loud people on Buses and trains, open plan offices, constant chatter in school classrooms, ‘collaboration’, elevator music, restaurants designed to deliberately amplify the sounds of clattering knives and forks, constant overhead messages in station concourses and on transport, music blaring from people’s gardens, ‘how was your meal?’ on and on and on it goes.

How does anyone think?

I think you can rank that. If you're white you're still more privileged than most.

Definitely the education system. It’s a one size fits all aims at memorising a load of facts and doing an exam at the end to prove you know the facts. It doesn’t allow for the fact that some people might struggle to process information that way. That small busy classrooms might be overwhelming, that sitting still and silently might excruciating.
Job interviews- processing skills, being on the spot. Knowing the right things to say.
lack of funding /adaptions to support nd people in adulthood. Suitable jobs are often low paid giving limited opportunities to thrive
Social norms- expectations to behaviour in a conformist way. To eat certain things, share interest in certain things. To follow similar routines and patterns to everyone else. Deviation is often met with judgement.
Work - this societal expectation that we all need to flog ourselves to death when a more employee centred approach could mean people thrive in the work force.

The fact that nd people are expected to fit in and adjust but NT people are often unwilling to do the same despite it being easier for them to do so.

No we are not all as disadvantaged as those who are disabled.

@thatsalad
There was a thread on the ND board about a woman who is smart, capable, but is unable to get a job because she is not good at interviews.

I'm in the same boat, and it's horrible. Although I'm finding the whole application process horrific, particularly long forms requiring numerous STAR examples (that want you to fit in so many specific things to ONE example, you can't say anything general) that take days to complete.
This issue is the same for so many autistic people, hence the high rates of unemployment and particularly underemployment. So many bright minds and capable people who can't get a foot in the door.

More broadly, in answer to the OP, I think @EmeraldRoulette has hit the nail on the head:

But my point is this - how have we ended up with a world designed in a way that so many people hate? How many people can you find that actually like open plan offices for example?

I genuinely wonder if some of the general rage we see in the population is an inability to cope with how things are set up

I agree with this so much! The world seems less and less designed for actual humans as time goes on. I'm sure people are more in need of diagnoses to explain/have proof of why they can't cope, as what is required of a person to function "as normal" in society gets harder and harder.

It's not just little things like bright lights. It's the whole overall structure of things, how the world has evolved and how things are done. Out of touch with nature, having to lie and pretend to be passionate about stuff that doesn't (or shouldn't) matter to get work, work that revolves around selling people stuff they don't need rather than meeting human needs. The constant struggle of everyone fighting to be the best (or drop out of society because they can't) rather than everyone having their little niche they can just tick over in. It's worse for those with Autism etc, but it's not great for anyone! So much of the way the world functions is just stupid and illogocal.

Job interviews require eye contact, being bubbly, lying convincly - all things that are difficult for ND people. There was a thread on the ND board about a woman who is smart, capable, but is unable to get a job because she is not good at interviews.

Shops are a sensory nightmare - lights and noise.

Restaurants - noisy, some insist on playing the loudest fking music. The whole world has became too noisy in general

Job interviews.

Jobs where you have last minute message from boss saying "I know you're supposed to be doing A but can you do B instead because of XYZ.

Everyone assuming you want to chat or make small talk snd if you don't you're a horrible person.

Sports days or end of term parties, proms etc.

I haven’t been diagnosed, but everything you said rings very true of when I was at school 45 years ago 😞.

What? It's true. So unless you're a white, heterosexual, male we are all at a disadvantage. That's the point, right??