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Original poster

Not adding second wife to the deeds of our new house

110 replies

Nancygrewnotdrew · 20/07/2025 14:10

Would it bother you if your husband didn't want to add you to the deeds of our house, if you both have children from previous marriages?

A friend is in this situation: , her DH doesn't want to add her to the deeds as he wants the house to go directly to his children. She is upset, which I can understand, although she won't be contributing to the purchase or running of house.

Is my friend being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nancygrewnotdrew · 20/07/2025 14:17

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/07/2025 14:14

She needs to save the money she would be spending on rent/ mortgage for herself and her kids, and / or buy a place to rent out. Then she’s got her own security, and her husband / partner should be encouraging this.

Although if they’re married it doesn’t go straight to his kids, it would go to her anyway.

depends on what the will states.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/07/2025 14:16

If she won't be contributing to the purchase or running of the house, why does she think she is entitled to any equity?

This situation depends on so many things that I don't think it's possible to answer based on the info you've given. It's completely different for example if he is expecting her to give up her job to look after his kids, and sell her house to finance an extension on his house (which would be completely unfair), to a situation where they are both work and are financially independent, he pays for his own kids, and she is effectively living with him rent / mortgage free which is enabling her to save a load of money to do whatever she wants with (in which case I'd ask why she thinks she is entitled to it)

There isn't a 'one size fits all' answer here

Cosyblankets · 20/07/2025 14:14

So she's paying nothing ?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/07/2025 14:14

She needs to save the money she would be spending on rent/ mortgage for herself and her kids, and / or buy a place to rent out. Then she’s got her own security, and her husband / partner should be encouraging this.

Although if they’re married it doesn’t go straight to his kids, it would go to her anyway.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 20/07/2025 14:12

although she won't be contributing to the purchase or running of house

So long as she keeps it that way then it's fair enough that the house isn't registered to her.

Shitstix · 20/07/2025 14:12

If she's not contributing to the purchase or running of the house then is being very unreasonable. Why doesn't she contribute and then it could be split between her dh dc and herself?

ooooohlala · 20/07/2025 14:11

It’s often advised on here. If he were to die first (statistically likely) and have the house, the kids could be left with nothing from their dad.

She can make sure her own assets are safe in the same way.

TillyTrifle · 20/07/2025 14:11

Surely if they’re married it’s not as simple as not adding her to the deeds. Won’t she have a claim by virtue of being his spouse?

Pomegranatecarnage · 20/07/2025 14:11

No, your friend is being very unreasonable!

dammit88 · 20/07/2025 14:11

If they are married I don’t think it makes a difference does it?