Not adding second wife to the deeds of our new house

I don’t think he should have remarried. It makes it less clear that his assets are dedicated to his children. Have a relationship, certainly, but don’t make it legally binding. That is what is causing the issue.

if she won’t be contributing to the purchase or running of the house he’s right not to put her on the deeds. If he does and does first she can legitimately pass it on to her own children overlooking his. It’s not his job to leave a legacy for her children. That’s her job.

He’s being upfront and honest about his intentions for his property to be passed to his children. She hasn’t contributed towards it so why would she want to potentially take it off them?

Depending on everyone’s ages and health she could request he leaves her a life interest or start saving for her own deposit for an investment property.

You are rifgt to some degree, however the 1975 Family & Dependants Act allows a claim if she were to be left little or nothing in the Will she would be provided for if she contests the Will.
if he doesn’t make a Will she would also inherit.

Quite. As is often said on here, marriage is a financial commitment. Why get married if you want to keep all your assets to yourself and don’t mind your spouse being made homeless? Better to stay as lovers who live separately. Even ‘partner’ is too strong.

Well not quite. Under the inheritance act (1975) a disinherited spouse could make a claim for reasonable financial provision from the estate of the deceased even if the will specifies the children get everything. They wouldn't necessarily get the whole house or even a lifetime right to reside in the house (what exactly reasonable provision consists of depends on the relative financial situations of the deceased and the surviving spouse). But being married definitely makes it substantially harder to totally disinherit your spouse in favour of your children, so if that is what you're aiming for, entering into a second marriage at all is ill advised (unmarried partner much harder to make any claim on the estate). A solicitor can advise further on making reasonable provision for your spouse if you are looking to also protect an inheritance for the children of your first marriage but simply not putting your spouse on the deeds of the house is not sufficient IMO. Also as others have said it would be very sensible for the wife to invest if she's able into some savings or a property of her own or other investment to protect herself in the event of the death of her spouse, as whatever the legal rights and wrongs no-one would want to see the whole estate swallowed in legal fees and all the other fall-out of being engaged in legal action with step-children...

If they're married it IS as simple as adding her to the deeds, though he'd need to decide if they were going to be joint tenants or tenants in common. If the former, and he died first, she'd become the sole owner. If the latter, he could leave his half of the value of the house to his kids, although they wouldn't see the money until she died too. But no, in England there is no obligation to leave anything to one's spouse; if he owns a house (or anything) in his own name only and leaves it to his kids, it goes to his kids.

It definitely does (assuming they're in the UK); nobody is obliged to leave anything to their spouse. If her name isn't on the deeds and he leaves the house to his kids (in a will written after they married), it goes to his kids.

Are you sure she won't be contributing to the running of the house? He's doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the organising of his children when they visit, all the washing, all the purchasing of anything to do with the house at all?

I bet he isn't.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/do-i-have-to-sell-my-home-to-pay-for-care/

Will my home have to be included in the financial assessment?

In some situations, your home won't be taken into account in the financial assessment. There are a few circumstances where this applies.

Moving into a care home temporarily

If you need short-term or temporary care in a care home, your home won't be in the financial assessment.

Moving into a care home permanently

If you move into a care home permanently, your home won't be counted in the financial assessment if any of the following people still live there:

• your partner, spouse or civil partner
• your estranged or divorced partner if they're also a lone parent
• a relative who is 60 or over
• a relative who is under 60 who has a disability
• a child of yours aged under 18.

Local councils can also choose to leave the value of your home out of the financial assessment, even if someone living there doesn’t fit into one of the categories above. They don’t have to – but they should consider any requests.

So what does it state?

Where did she live before they married? Did she have her own house?

He probably should have stayed single then and not remarried.

As people have said its more complicated with them being married but we have a similar set up to your friend in that I own the house and it will be passing to our son on death. I pay for the house and all renovations to it and my partner has a lifetime interest to live in the house until he dies. This is the sort of thing your friends partner should be putting in his will so she isn't left homeless if he dies suddenly.

Then your friend needs to save the money she would be spending on rent/mortgage and her husband should be supporting her in doing this. ie not saying well now she pays all the bills and food shopping as hes paying the mortgage and leaving her with no money to save.

He is right to want to leave his house to his kids and not a new wife

I'll say depends. What is he expecting her to contribute? Will she be able to buy her own property? Will the kids kick her out? Will the house be treated as a home or is he allowed to make 100% of the decisions and she's a lodger? Will she feel like it is her home without any ownership? He is being sensible. But I also understand the wife.

Honestly, I am a bit supporter of livign apart together for older couples to avoid all of this (assuming both can afford their housing).

Maybe their children are adults.

And why wouldn't he be looking after his own children? If she's looking after them all the time then she must not be working right so that feels fair enough if he's supporting her to be a stay-at-home parent then she parents the children.

Hes absolutely right to do this. He would be screwing over his own children otherwise.

I don’t own my home yet but there’s no way I’d put a partner on the deed if I did.

I assume it’s his home and she’s moving in with him, so why would she be put on the deeds.

He has made plans for his kids when he dies.
She needs to do the same and not rely on someone else to do it for her.

Why? Their father may not want them to have to wait until someone unrelated to them dies before they can receive their inheritance.

I think it's more important that her DH writes a will which if it gives the house to the kids on his death still allows her to live in the house until she dies or remarries

She's getting free accommodation for 20/30 years. Massive saving compared to if she never met this man.

Who has paid for the house?

If he paid for it, why does she think she should get to own it? Its perfectly fine for him to want it to go to his own children - if he gives her a share, she may well pass it to her own DC and disinherit his kids.

She's gaining a huge amount if she is living there rent free, she can save that for herself/own kids

I think we'd need much more information, everyone's ages for a start, and even then TBH I think you should ask to have this moved to the Divorce/Separation topic or legal. I am recently divorced both ex-H and I in our 60s I made sure the split gave him enough for a decent place to live, obviously in the hope that our children would inherit as much as possible. Only to find now that he may move someone else in and as I understand it even if they don't marry, even if she contributes nothing other than some grocery money, and even if she has her own property, she may still have a claim on the house. Worried sick, so I am getting advice (financial order not done). So I don't think it matters whether the person in question is on the deeds but as I say, everyone commenting here including me is missing quite a lot of information.

These debates on threads like this always puzzle me. He’s buying a house and she’s not contributing. It’s reasonable not to put her on the deeds.
The most straightforward, decent thing is to leave it to his children, but with a lifetime interest to the wife if he dies first. It’s not unusual to have this arrangement; and it is fair all round.
surely he would have a solicitor dealing with the sale who would advise him.