Not adding second wife to the deeds of our new house

Presumably this is the house that was bought with his first wife - was it a divorce or is he a widower? I think that would make a difference (for me personally), as if he adds her to the deeds and then dies before her, he risks his children inheriting nothing from either their mum or their dad.

I think it sounds wise but I can see why it would be hurtful.

But won't their father also provide for them? What grandparents might they inherit from? I don't think it's that simple that all of his assets should be split between his and her children. I think that it's great if he puts them first.

Your friend is being unreasonable and greedy. If she is contributing nothing, she deserves nothing. She should make her own plans re savings, pension etc...
However DH hasn't thought this through as although he won't put her on the deed, marriage gives certain rights. She might not end up with half but his will would have to state that she made no contributions and it might end up in court!

Ah thank you. I married in church and that bit was definitely included. I did wonder if civil/other denomination vows were different, evidently so. I will listen harder next time I go to a wedding.

Does the friend have any assets?

Remember those wee things called marriage vows?

@honeylulu”Also maybe I'm being pedantic about vows but I'm sure there is something like "all that I have I share with you". If you don't mean it why say it? Did he make clear before the wedding that he wouldn't be sharing the house?”

Well I’m married and those weren’t my wedding vows.

This is exactly why i will never remarry...I own my house outright and it will be split equally between my 3 children when i die (if not needed to pay care costs)...no way would i risk my house going to a new spouse and his kids if i died first...absolute insanity.
Ive worked my whole life to be mortgage free no way would i risk my kids not getting it.

If she’s that bothered why doesn’t she contribute to the house? Not contributing to the purchase or the running is nuts.

The only surprising thing about this is that he has remarried. I completely understand why he wants the house to go to his children and marriage puts that at risk, whatever the deeds and will say. A a spouse she'll be entitled to a share upon divorce or may be able to challenge the will for a "reasonable provision" amount if she's dependent on him (it's not clear if she is or not). If I was widowed or divorced I would never remarry for these very reasons.

Also maybe I'm being pedantic about vows but I'm sure there is something like "all that I have I share with you". If you don't mean it why say it? Did he make clear before the wedding that he wouldn't be sharing the house?

Practically speaking your friend needs to wise up and make a plan. All these "homeless" comments are a bit silly. Where did she live before she met this bloke? She must have housed herself and the children somehow. Does she work? If not she needs to and then she can buy an investment property of her own. She isn't having to contribute financially to the house so she should be able to raise plenty of surplus cash from earned income.

I bet your friend is younger than her partner, anticipating many years of providing 24/7 care in his old age, and then on his death, be made homeless by his children.

She could ask her DH to include a ‘right to reside’ clause in his will allowing her to live in the house after he dies for either a set period of time or until she dies. The house would still belong to his DC but she will have a roof over her head.

Your friend wants a free house?

If I were dying one of my last requests of dh would be that at least my half of our assets gets legally locked away for our children. It would be a reminder because I’ve already told him that clearly. Your friend is being very unfair.

Dh and I 2nd marriage. Adult dc , none together. I own the house outright..dh is not on the deeds as I do not want it going to his dc. If I die he lives in the house till he dies, and cannot remarry/ bring a partner into it. When he dies, my dd can sell it. Dd and dh are fully aware of this and it is all specified in my will.

This. They both have adult children so assuming they must be quite a bit older. Why doesn't she have her own house? Given she's contributing nothing she is BVU!!

Your friend is taking the p!ss.

But the children might be adults? And who says he isn’t looking after the children and the home as well? Also why isn’t she making sure he is financially protected? Why is the onus the man to ensure that the helpless little female who must be looking after the children at home is financially protected? You are making a lot of assumptions and using lots of stereotypes by defining the role of a the man as a provider and the woman as a homemaker. You know nothing about them as OP hasn’t given any details.

I can only say that in our second marriage with separate kids, dh put me on the deeds to our house even though I hardly contributed. It wasn’t something I asked for, he did it automatically.

In her shoes I wouldn’t have married him.

They might be able to talk about it but if he's not interested, really, she needs to think about things from her perspective. She is free not to care for his kids if she doesn't want to. Also if she wants to turn down holidays etc because she needs to save to provide for her kids future, that's ok too. If they can talk it through and come up with some kind of a plan it would be good though

She might be contributing looking after the children and home.
Why to marry someone if then you are not treating them as a partner? I don't get why live with someone, marry her and not making sure she will be financially protected if something happens to you. If he wanted his home going directly to his children don't live with someone and don't marry that person.
He could stayed single

She doesn’t seem to care either since she is not contributing.

In his shoes I wouldn’t have married her.

I’m guessing g that by not adding her, she feels that he doesn’t see their marriage as permanent, whilst he wants the assets to his children.

Can the will include something to say she can live in the house until she passes away?