A part of me is dreading my teenage daughters getting back from holiday

You are completely normal, as far as I can tell.

It’s normal

I love my kids to bits, but I have never suffered from - or even understood - empty nest syndrome.

People kep telling me I would miss this, that and the other when my kids no longer lived with me, but I absolutely didn’t. I loved living alone before and after them.

Normal!

Quite normal and exactly as it should be. This is nature’s way of you preparing for the empty next one day.

By the time my teenagers went to university I was heartily glad to see the back of them. Not that they are awful kids - they’re wonderful and I couldn’t love them more. But who wants to live with teenagers? They’re messy, annoying, noisy etc etc.

My kids are all properly grown up with their own homes. I really look forward to them coming home for a few days for a visit but still love the peace, tidiness, clarity and relaxation when they’ve gone again.

This is completely normal. Enjoy what’s left of your blissful selfish time. As you welcome your babies home you can make secret plans for how much you’re going to r joy the next little home-alone stint!

My son has just left home he’s 24, life is easier, more peaceful but I miss him, we didn’t always get along argued a fair bit, I think things have improved with us since he’s moved out, but the house just feels empty and too quiet.

This is why I try and dissuade starry eyed new mothers of curly haired cherubs from having a third.

Have two girls same age as yours they are lovely fab and fun and gorgeous but dear god if I had another to parent another one through the teen years whilst peri menopausal I would crumble.

Aldo find am craving and enjoying being on my own started late 40s

@feedmefudge i think as previous posters have said its getting ready for them to leave the nest. I love my sons but someday s I could quite happily strangle them. But not very often x

YANBU.
I’m a single parent to a 16 year old and a 19 year old (currently home from uni). I miss DS1 when he’s at uni, and I look forward to him coming home, and the best I ever sleep is when all 3 of us are in the house.

But the biggest stress I find is when they’re in that neither-child-nor-adult stage. DS1 isn’t financially independent, because he depends on his student loan and my supplement to it. So in some ways he’s still a “child”. But legally he’s an adult. Finding the balance and figuring out what demands I can and can’t make (eg what time he gets home etc) is so bloody difficult. Being nearly 20 he’s entitled to come and go as he pleases, but as the homeowner I feel entitled to have some control over the comings and goings. It’s a source of a fair amount of conflict when he’s home.

Being a parent of late teens is really really hard.

YANBU at all

ds is going away in august and I can’t wait looking forward to this time

the last 17 years have been about him and continues to be as it should be he is my child but wanting some time for myself and getting ready for when he leaves home is perfectly normal and is nothing to do with how much I love him

Can totally relate.

DS is 18 and he went away with his mates last year (staying in a flat adjacent to his mate’s grandparents house, so adults around) it was bliss.

He does venture out quite a bit but when he’s home he’s still quite needy and messy!

Love him to bits but also love being alone! DH has been away this weekend so I’ve loved my alone time even more, he’s untidy too!

i dream of DD moving out but she probably never will. She’s 16, AUDHD and we’ve been joined at the hip for the last 4 years.

Definitely know where you’re coming from. I have two that are semi-flown at 24 and 19 where they flit between mine and their boyfriends parents homes. I have a 16yo still home though. The problem is the semi flown ones still need their bedrooms, refuse to give up their larger rooms for the 16yo in the box room who is here all the time. It’s getting to the point where I need to push them to leave fully but the cost of housing is so high they are struggling to figure out if they can afford a place of their own.

I just want my house to myself to do what I want with it now and to not have surprise extras for dinner.

I love them but I never expected to be housing a 24yo, I’d moved out about 20/21 and assumed mine would do the same.

YANBU at. fucking. all.

Just sitting upstairs after another blistering row with 15 year old DS over wasting food "because everything I cook is shit" 😡 So I've given him a £40 budget next week, he has to decide all the ingredients he wants, and he can cook for himself and his brother all week. And I'm not turning the fucking WiFi back on until he apologises fully either.

Even when we get on though, it's just need need need, with a side order of him pretending he knows better so doesn't actually need anything. The DC go to my ex EOW, and I usually enjoy a long, peaceful walk. The other weekend I was actually walking in their area, so I invited DS1 to join me. All great, except of course he didn't bring a water bottle, so ended up drinking most of mine and I ended up thirsty and dehydrated 🙄.

Not having to constantly consider other people's needs is absolute bliss.

Your feelings are very normal.
We all need space, parenting is very demanding. You'll be back in the routine in no time, dreaming about your upcoming break in 2027.

Very natural.
They're nearly ready to fly the coop and you're half looking forward to it, which is as it should be.
And it doesn't matter how many chores they do, their youthful energy is just too much sometimes.
You will miss them when they go though!

Oh yeah.

I have mine back with me at the moment (moving out to new flat soon) and so much looking forward to the peace and quiet.

Mum to two sons. Eldest nearly 20 and youngest 17. All the washing gets put in together. We share the cooking, cleaning and washing up. I know if I'm ill they will be able to survive lol. But I do love the days when it's just me in the house. No one hogging the TV remote lol

Totally relate to this. Love my DD to bits and love her spirited personality but equally love the peace and quiet when she’s away.

Mine is 24 and hopefully buying a place soon. No empty nest trepidation for me - I can’t wait til she has her own place and I can visit/meet her for lunch etc.

My dad was very much “throw them out the nest” when they’re old enough and I think I’m just that way inclined to.

YANBU

You need and deserve a break as well, even from the people you love most in the world. Everyone needs a break and a rest.

I think it’s age related too OP. As mine have got older (eldest nearly 18) I enjoy my own company more and more. After so many years running after kids, I think it’s normal (unless you are Sue Radford!) to want to start prioritising yourself and not just have your life centred around your children.

Please don't feel bad. You've done a great job bringing up girls who are getting read to fly the nest - you wouldn't be feeling like this if that were not the case I think. It is normal and natural.

On the practical side, we are also limited to drying space and fridge space so never managed to split chores well, I hear you.

Our dc now mostly flown and I love the peace, the sense of order, the routines....they are happy and doing well and I love them to bits.

YANBU.

Maybe think about some new routines you want to bring in to make life a bit calmer day to day, e.g. a washing up and vacuuming and taking out bins rota, ways to reduce cooking (batch cook, sandwiches for lunch), chores they can do (put their laundry in a white or colours bin next to the machine).

Lol you're perfectly normal - it's getting towards nest leaving time and it's great that you are emotionally ready (more than) for it!

Much better than being bereft when they fly off.

The alternative to you doing all the laundry doesn't have to be everyone doing their own though, does it? Why can't it be a shared task, like cooking, where everyone uses the same communal system, but takes turns to implement it?