Fiance slept with a prostitute

Yeah ….no. You can’t put a condom on a flaccid penis and you can’t insert a penis into someone unless it’s hard.

He’s 100% minimising what happened. It’d be a “no” from me.

Sorry you are going through this - he’s a dick.

It reminds me of A&E stories that start with, “Honest doc, I was en route to my usual front pew at church, sober as a judge, when I slipped and fell on a cucumber my friend happened to place on the floor seconds before,” then finish with, “and it got totally rammed up my backside.”

OP, he’s confessed to you because someone else was going to tell you. He got there first. Better for you that you heard it from him and convenient for him to get his questionable ‘version of events’ out there first.

He’s shown you his standards and who he is: The drunk asshole who ends up in a brothel and takes NO responsibility for his actions (“It’s my mate’s fault! Poor little me. I was just there with a hard dick doing NOTHING!”). There’s something terribly unattractive about a man who apportions blame (and visits brothels).

You’ve got some thinking to do and decisions to make. And it’s not my place- some stranger on the internet- to tell you how to live your life but… I’ll just gently remind you that the hills are >>>>>>>> thataway. 💐 Strength and courage. This is tough for you.

It's not just the prostitute I'd be worried about. It's the friends he's choosing to hang out with, the fact he was so drunk he was totally out of control.

My exH aleays made poor friendship choices and it led to him thinking certain things were ok because his mates did it too 🤔...It was not ok.

The only person I know in real life that has slept with a prostitute is also “deeply moral” which does make me wonder if that’s just the guise that men like this put on.

If his story is true he should go to the police. I suspect it isn’t in which case you need to end the relationship, OP. I don’t think he was tricked into sleeping with a prostitute.

I’m truly sorry this awful man has done this to you and then lied and made you feel this way. I hope you take strength from these replies OP. The cold hard truth is…

Absolutely nothing about his story rings true. You don’t meet business leads while paralytic. You don’t accidentally have sex. He didn’t nearly cheat. He knew he was going to a brothel. He knew he was cheating, he knew he was engaging in sex behind your back with a prostituted (and likely trafficked) woman. He knew he was buying consent which does not equal true consent. If it only lasted 30 seconds (which I doubt) it’s because he was so excited to be committing this vile act that he only lastest 30 seconds. He didn’t run out crying. And I am pretty sure he only told you because he’s been found out by someone else - another work colleague or their partner or he paid in a way you will see.

Please do not be naive enough to believe this catalogue of lies. LTB now and please do not marry him.

what completely plastered man can get an erection so easily without no foreplay

This is inaccurate @Blackoutbeans. He claims there wasn't any foreplay!

This. If he cheats before you are married he'll always cheat.

I'm sorry but this man is either thick as a brick or thinks you are......his story doesn't add up in the slightest.

If this is the best story/explanation he can come up with, the man is seriously deficient.

Don't marry this eejit. He's a liar.

If he’s asked you to be his wife and then sneaks off and sleeps around with a prostitute then he will do it again. Guaranteed - especially if he thinks he can get away with it. This is the occasion you found out. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s done it before. There’s a certain type of man who pays women for sex. Save yourself a marriage of unhappiness OP and find a man who is worthy of you.

Gross! Do not marry him and do not have babies with this pathetic little creep! It might (or might not) be the first time he has paid for sex but you can bet your bottom dollar that it won’t be the last! He has crossed a line and only a sad, desperate fool would marry him. Plenty more fish in the sea, you can do better.

His type and his work friend have no respect for women. They do this behind your back and are laughing at you for believing their bullshit stories. Do you really want to be around that for the rest of your life. He confessed and “Broke down crying”. Pathetic!

@AdviceneededreweddingFor your own sanity, health and well-being please END THINGS.

Don’t let fear of being single and what the future will look like stop you from ending this ‘relationship’.

We all know how hard it will be to face the truth, but cancelling the wedding, losing your deposits, having to tell people etc etc. will be A LOT easier than being married to this man. He has shown you who he is and if you stay with him you’ll doubt him every single time he goes out. The trust is broken; he isn’t who you thought he was. Staying with him will erode your self-esteem and confidence.

Please take the advice on this thread and walk away now. There are plenty of good men out there and, if you want to, you will meet someone better in the future.

You’ll grieve the future you thought you two were building but that will be a hell of a lot easier than being married to who this person is - he’s as much as a stranger to you now, and not who you thought he was. If he’d told you on an early date/your first date, that he’d done this to a previous girlfriend would you have carried on seeing him, because that is who he is.

Something has happened which means there’s a chance you’re going to find out, so he’s got in there first with this bizarre half story.

Of course it didn’t happen the way he says it, don’t be so naive. You know that deep down, but he’s been very, very clever and manipulative in that he’s presented you the most palatable story possible, while also telling you what he thinks you’re going to discover anyway, in the hope that you’ll believe it because an easier to swallow story is what you want to believe to protect yourself from the worst of the pain.

This doesn't bode well. I wouldn't be considering marrying this man, after this big red flag.

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. You would be a complete mug to forgive him.

A couple of weeks is about right for him to have realised he's got an STI.

How on earth can you marry him - it'll be all you - and indeed, half of the guests - are thinking about during the ceremony.

This poor man... a big mean friend tricked him into having sex with a prostitute...

Come on op, get rid. You've had a lucky escape knowing before you got married

My DH had a sleazy ex-friend who tried to get him to go to a strip club. He knew exactly what to do - he walked away. You fiance is lying. He claims he didn't know what to do? Bullshit. He knows what YOU would have wanted him to do. But given the choice he did what HE wanted to do. A grown man who has his own mind doesn't get persuaded into something he thinks is wrong so easily. He might be feeling a bit of regret now, but he was happy enough to go along with things when he was in the situation. Certainly didn't seem to have a problem getting it up!

Sorry this has happened to you, but I would not be buying that ridiculous story.

The bloke that lives downstairs from my Mum does that! She felt he was such a lovely guy and he has a girlfriend but then gets the sex workers over for lunch time delight! Grim!

Love the way he says he came close to nearly cheating. He did cheat. He had sex for 30 seconds. (Although I doubt it was only 30 seconds!)

Morals don't just go out the window when drunk. He put his penis in another woman = he cheated. Let alone a prostitute, putting your health in danger.

If you are forgiving and marrying this man you are just asking for it. Also, what completely plastered man can get an erection so easily without no foreplay no desire no nothing?

I would not marry him

I would push for the name of the friend and the location of the brothel. Both would be reported to the police.

I understand you are in shock and feeling hurt and feeling scared about life without him

but when someone tells you who they are listen to them

he is a man that buys sex

the circumstances around how it happened (and in time you will see this is a crock of shit and he is trying to make out he was innocent and led astray) is irrelevant

do you want to marry a man who cheats on you and buys sex? I sincerely hope not and I believe you and people who love uou want better for you too

They turn up at the house and partner is confused because there’s only girls there and there is a bed in the room. Work friend starts negotiating prices and partner then realises it’s a brothel. Said he started freaking out

I don’t believe a word he has told you - he’s freaking out yet still goes ahead with the payment! Then they have sex???

He could have used his ‘words’ and said ‘no’ quite simple really.

Please don’t marry this man in 6 months, even if you feel you can forgive this you will need time to process and recover. You really need to think though whether you believe he won’t do this again and you will need to trust that because you forgave him once he won’t see that as a green light to carry on.

Please also get tested and spend time thinking this through. I do agree with many other responses that I could not get past this.

He sounds like a contemptible wimp.