Fiance slept with a prostitute

This @Adviceneededrewedding

Most men go through their entire lives without sleeping with a prostitute.

He didn't just sleep with a prostitute; he cheated on you.

He may regret it, or he may just feel guilty. I am sure some part of him does love you but...love is not always enough.

You know what will happen if you marry this man. Be happy it happened before the wedding so you don't have to go through the legal hell of a divorce.

Sadly I think what's likely happened is that he slept with a prostitute, felt guilty and ashamed about it, then created a story that allowed him to confess, but make it sound like it was a 30-second mistake that he put a stop to.

The story is designed to make you feel as you do, to reason that it's not worth throwing away a long-term relationship for a 30-second mistake. But it wasn't just a 30 minute mistake was it? Even if it’s true that he was taken to a place he didn't know was a brothel (which you'd have to wonder why, guys who obviously think nothing of sleeping with prostitutes would be so shy about telling him where they were going beforehand?), there would have been plenty of time and opportunity to walk out as soon as he realised where he was. But for his story to be true, he'd have had to find out he was in a brothel, stick around long enough to be allocated a girl, been excited enough at the prospect of sleeping with them for them to then have pulled down his trousers, put on a condom and start having sex. That wasn't a 30-second mistake. That was a sequence of events that he allowed to unfold.

Don't marry him. Don't look at it as throwing away a good relationship, think of it as a painful event that allows you to be free to meet a man who truly deserves you. One that would never do something like this to you.

Oh come off it. He wasn’t black out drunk. He was sober enough to realise where they were and converse with his mates that it is all “normal”. He let her put a condom on him and have sex with him (for 30 seconds apparently). He was aware what was happening the whole time.

At least he was honest with you and he seems deeply regretful.
Lots to consider

You do realise a condom will not fit a flaccid penis @Adviceneededrewedding

He is only telling you the basic betrayal as he doesn't want anyone else to tell you. He could have said to his 'mate' No, I'm going home

This!

What do you mean you don't know what to do?

It would be time to sell my bargepole, because I wouldn't be touching him with one.

"Work friend/ prostitues say to him this is normal everyone does it and he says they convince him to do it."
Convince? How could they possibly convince someone "with really strong family/ relationship values" that this is "normal"? Paralytic or not, having been taken there under false pretences I really don't see how he can have been 'convinced'.

I'm more inclined to think he decided to take the opportunity presented to him.

I'm also questioning the timing of his confession. This happened "a couple of weeks ago after a work night out". So why wait until now to tell you? I wonder if his work colleague is about to drop him in it.

Do you really want to sit there in your wedding dress knowing he fucked someone else, and not only that, visited a prostitute after getting down on one knee? And probably a load of his mates in the room knowing about it too while he stands there and does his meaningless speech about how much he loves you?

leave and don’t look back. You deserve better than this - everyone deserves better than this, it’s not even bare minimum.

@Adviceneededrewedding do you really and truly believe that this man was taken there against his will and forced into a situation where a sex worker sexually assaulted him? Because that’s the only way this story makes any sense. If that’s true then he deserves support and sympathy and he should consider taking action.

I think it’s entirely possible he got a minute in to having sex and freaked out and left but in that scenario he still willingly got that far and is now feeling guilty.
Frankly that would be too late for me because he still did it.

It’s not even that he cheated which I might be willing to forgive but that he willingly had sex with a sex worker and has no idea whether she has been exploited, coerced or even trafficked.

Is it possible that this is going to come out somehow and he’s laying the ground to prepare you for it?

I don't believe his version of events. It paints him in the best light while letting him confess his guilty conscience.

I'll echo the other posters....he's only told you as he is getting ahead of the game by telling you first in case it comes out.

I'd be more annoyed that he thinks I'd believe such a load of crap in the first place. It's all 'poor me'. He has taken zero responsibility for his actions.

It's not the first time and it won't be the last. You'll always have it in the back of your mind and your spidey senses will be screaming at you when he's out.

Cut your loses and live a beautiful and peaceful like. Men like this will only drag you down to the gutter with them.

Fuck him and his fuckin friend.

I bet you have to put loads of effort to even get him to do the bins but one bad man and a mean lady can convince him to get hard and have sex even when he absolutely doesn’t want to at all ever.

Ex fiance and he not told you the full story

Possibly, but that's the bit missing from OP

Oh, he did. No man admits stuff like this until he's about to be found out somehow.

Tbf I suppose he didn't need to tell you

If this is true then you’re the most gullible person I’ve ever heard of.

None of that happened.

He by himself, decided to visit a prostitute, found one, visited her and had sex with her, with no other person involved.

I would actually be more pissed off with the lies that he’s told acting like I’m stupid, than the actual act itself.

My husband says your fella is lying:
"If you're that pissed that you don't know where you're being taken, then there's no way you could get it up enough for someone to put a condom on it.
If he could get it up, he wasn't that pissed."

I say ditch him now to preserve your dignity and stop you spending your life worrying every time he goes out with his "friends".

Oh come on OP you don’t believe this fairy story do you?

Your fiancé is a lying cheating piece of shit scumbag who pays to use women’s bodies for his own selfish gratification. Men like him are repulsive.

But as others say I suspect you’ll ignore your gut and all advice, marry the prick and be back on a couple of years when he turns out to be a serial cheat.

Was it hard before she even removed his trousers or how did she put a condom on him? What a ridiculous story 😂😂

Please please please dont go ahead with this. You wouldnt have fallen in love with the man he's just told you about. That's who he is. Not who you think he is.

everyone does it and he says they convince him to do it.🙄

Dont know what to do,🙄🙄