Fiance slept with a prostitute

This ⬆️

I know two men whose wives believed someone was out to steal their man and pretend and make up lies, yet they are both well known to use prostittes regularly (I saw one picking one up when living abroad too) one of these men is now a qualified evangelical priest and he did the marriage ceremony for the other one- yuk yuk yuk

Both of their wives were naive and hopeful and forgiving Christians. One is now single with three kids the other is still turning a blind eye a couple kids later

I know. That actually made me laugh out loud! 😅

Nobody has ever been so drunk they managed to get naked and erect for 30 seconds AND not know what they were doing. He tries to pass this off as ‘they convinced him to do it’ but I truly think that the morals and courage of a man are in the gutter if a prostitute and work colleague can convince him to cheat on his fiancée in a matter of minutes.

He stood no chance against the 200KG powerlifting lass, 5x as strong as IIona Maher. She lassoed a condom onto his peen as she flung him around. He was only erect because of the freak hurricane & then she fell on him. He thought the "model" sign on the door was for toy trains, he wanted to buy an Avanti West Coast Pendolino, but when he entered a chimpanzee named Charlie mauled off his trousers off. He only went to Soho to go to a gay bar, but ended up in the wrong door. He wanted a curry & misread "masala" for "massage". He is going to sue Specsavers because his eyesight is dodgy. He thought she was you aswell.

If he can shag a woman who has no sexual interest in him, he can rape you. RUN. Men who use prostituted women are 18x more likely to murder women. RUN. He paid to rape a prostitute, money is not consent.

Lots of minimising going on there.

It was friends fault, womans fault, drinks fault, only 30 seconds when actually it was his fault and his alone, his choice to throw a bomb into the life of someone he supposedly loves for a quick thrill. He actively choose not looking silly/boring/not up for it over breaking your heart. He choose to have sex with a woman who was paid for it. He choose to put your sexual health at risk (you need to get yourself checked out, regardless of what he says about condoms).

What he has told you is unlikely to be the full truth, as you can already see he is minimising it and you cannot prove otherwise.

What ever happens now the trust is gone. You cannot go ahead with the wedding, even if you do manage to work through this that kind of healing and rebuilding of trust does not take place in 6 months and it does not take place with the distraction of an upcoming wedding. You are in shock, you need to time to reassess this man who is capable of doing this to you, and 6 months is not enough time.

So sorry he (not his friend, not the woman, not the drink) has done this to you.

First and foremost get a check up at an STD clinic, even if you have no symptoms. This is crucial, if you want a family.
Secondly..& I know this will be far from everyones take..it's only sex..it's not romance or affection..just sex.
If you can't cope with it..walk away. If you can, don't.

Honest? His story makes zero sense! So in my world he’s still not properly come clean. Probably worried that at the wedding night party or some such a friend/colleague will get tipsy and let his secret slip so he’s now ‘confessing’ under the guise of guilt.

Feel v sorry for OP. What a situation to be put into 😑.

and if the bit about his mates is true, then they are trying to split you guys up... so there's that.

You know what to do. Do not marry this man.

Not commenting on OP’s situation specifically, but “you were aroused, so you wanted it” is why a lot of sexually abused men and boys never come forward. An erection is an involuntary physical response, not an indicator of consent.

Also if he was that drunk, he did well to get and maintain an erection. Sounds like absolute bullshit to me.

I can remember my friends convincing me to do stuff, like take my first sip of beer or smoke a cigarette or skip school…. but I was a teenager and these things aren’t the same as what he did. Fully grown adults have their own minds. He sounds pathetic, trying to blame it on his friends. Jesus. Do not marry this man, you’ll be in line for a lifetime of misery.

@Adviceneededrewedding

re your posting name: there won’t be a wedding. Cancel it and get back what you can. Do this today.

next. Imagine if the roles were reversed and it was you with a mate, being taken somewhere for a ‘business lead’

Let’s humour him and accept his pack of lies as the truth for a second. So this is you, in a committed relationship about to be married and some bloke is there with a hard on and he’s there for your entertainment

how many thought processes would your brain go through to get to this mythical 30 second fuck?

at the point where you went through the door and saw the bed? Surely that is the time you realise this is a bad idea.

not to the point where the bloke has approached you, removed clothes, and inserted his condommed dick?

on that point, this prince of a man you’re intending to spend the rest of your life with managed to get hard enough for a condom AND to fuck a woman he knew to be a prostitute.

many men wouldn’t be able to do that.

now do you see? He’s lying to you.

even if he weren’t, he had more than enough opportunities to remove himself from the situation but chose to go ahead anyway.

if you marry him, you’ll ruin your life

Rare is the man who refuses anonymous sex on a plate while impaired.

Naive the guy who tells fiancé & expects a hug.

The story is absolute bullshit from start to finish. Drunk or not of course he knew what he was doing. In his head the important thing is that he’s told you he had sex, even though he’s minimised it. If he tells you the truth he knows it’ll be the end of the relationship. Because the truth is that he paid for sex, felt guilty and concocted this shite as a cover story to make himself feel better. Don’t fall for it because when you’re married there will be many more similar ones to explain his infidelities.

Yeah he is worried that would will find out so is planting a narrative now to start the cover up. My ex-DH did this same thing, he was so against cheating, when I found evidence he was he said it was a lapse of judgement. He bought condoms, went to the hotel room with the woman then was just about to have sex but realised what he was doing wrong so threw them away and came home to me. Cried about how awful it was for him and this woman had pursued him and confused him so much.
I laughed in his face. Like you should do now!!! Do not marry this man. He is a cheater and a liar will not change. Especially if you forgive him for this it will just make him think he can get away with it again!

Bullshit.

He did it, willingly, he now has the raging guilt.

You believe him and let this go, he will do it again because you've shown him you'll tolerate and accept it.

Get rid - and remember, you're not ending this. He's already done that when he trotted along to a prostitutes and got his cock out.

When he's sobbing and talking shit to try to soften you up, remember that - he valued getting his dick wet over you and your entire relationship.

Agreed. I'd be telling everyone the reason.
Come on @Adviceneededrewedding, this the correct advice and you know it.

The story will definitely have been massaged with a kernel of truth and loads of padding to make it more palatable. Do you really think prostitutes in a brothel are so desperate for trade that they spend time coercing unwilling men to pay for sex with them? That does not sound plausible to me, for the obvious reason it is quite a dangerous thing to do, in an already risky job. Also not believable that he he gets erect enough for someone to put a condom on him and then goes for 30 seconds before running away? I believe his mate set this up but honestly, I doubt he would have done that if your fiance did not already have a hooker habit. Too risky otherwise. However drunk he was this is the tip of the iceberg and if you stick around there will be a lot more to this that unravels over the months and years ahead.

You say you don’t want to tell anyone in your personal life. If it were me, I would tell people the wedding is off and I would be telling them the reasons why. Marry him and you will regret it! Get some self respect and walk away. You deserve better.

Here for my usual suggestion that you read this review site UK Escort Directory and Reviews | PunterNet UK https://share.google/1OLFpakUZlZOa5k5Y. Particularly the " negative" reviews. This is what men like your fiancé are doing to usually trafficked, vulnerable women who rarely have a choice. Do not marry this man . STI check asap and don't look back .

None of this story makes sense at all - he is so drunk that he didn’t realise where he was but was able to get en erection quickly and manage to have sec whilst paralytic what a lot of total bollocks - vomit inducing. You would be insane to marry him

I think the main question is how do you feel? Did he volunteer this information freely? If so, that is honourable to do so before you are married, in case it is insurmountable. I fear that once trust is broken, it’s next to impossible to repair fully. However, if you still love him, take the time you need to feel strong in whatever decision you make. It’s very difficult to extract poison totally. It always seems to linger and work its way back into the fray. I’m very sorry. The story does sound quite fantastical, but the fact that he volunteered the incriminating information is not something to overlook. Best of luck.

Don’t marry him… no one accidentally uses a prostitute 🤦🏻‍♀️