Fiance slept with a prostitute

That changes things considerably.. marry him .. get a job and build a future with one eye on the door. He’s clearly spoofing .. i suspect others were there and he’s worried about it getting back but you have zero bargaining position here. At least being married you are protected financially but you need to wake up and consider why you left yourself in such a vulnerable position being unmarried and being a sahm. Insanity.. you are right though .. he will eventually move on as he won’t have any respect for you once you forgive him but you need time to plan and build up your career before that happens so time now to get smart and play the long game. You never know .. it may even work out

You don't know what to do!? Really? You leave him and you thank your lucky stars you found out about this before the wedding.

He may well feel shit about it and as though he was taken advantage of. But he was sober and had sex with someone else. Someone who's consent had been paid for. He should have been horrified by the very suggestion if it wasn't his idea.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'd struggle to trust anyone again. I can't imagine how awful you must feel.

I was going to say I would marry him so you can divorce later too but someone has already said it

If this was me, this relationship would have to end. No only have they cheated on you and just dehumanized a woman by paying for her body (which is utterly disgusting), they've also revealed how weak their character is by admitting they were convinced into something that was morally wrong.

You need to be with someone who has the strength to do what is right without succumbing to outside influences.

Now I know you have kids and you're a sahm I'd say marry him. That way you at least have some financial protection. I really hope I'm wrong op but I suspect in a few years you will be back telling us he's been seeing prostitutes regularly :( good luck, if your not going to leave him you need to set some rules e.g. never sees that friend again, full access to phone etc. I'd get regular sti checks too

I just want to say, in case nobody else has, that in order for a man to have a condom put on his penis, it needs to be… erect. So he must have been aroused. Which makes me question how much of the truth he’s actually telling you.

you have to follow your gut and I suppose know that you won’t ever really know the full truth. From experience, my advice would be to ask yourself how much you think this is going to affect you in the future. Can you forgive him. Because if you can’t, it will eat you , and the marriage up. It will take a long time to forgive him but time will heal, if you decide to stay with him.

best of luck xx

Leave him with the kids as a stay at home dad😘
& move to Spain with your half of the money

Of course there wasn't 🙄

What made him tell you about it?

His story is such a blatant lie though, I almost find it more repulsive than what he did. Claiming he was so drunk he didn't know where he was, was coerced, and ran off crying? He still managed to get an erection though. It's so obvious someone else knows and has threatened to tell you. Check his timeline history on Google. Open Maps, tap the red initial on the top right, then you can change the date and see where he went on that night and other nights. Try to think who may be threatening him and wants you to know.

So who paid? She would have had to be paid BEFORE anything started, was it a generous gift from this friend who is seemingly completely obsessed with your partner having sex with a prostitute?

I suspect you'll stay with him because you're a little bit trapped, but you cannot continue to be a SAHM if you're in a relationship with a prick like this. You need to get yourself in a position where you can walk away should you ever need to.

This is also true. Infact there was a thread from a married woman recently who’d shagged a much younger man whilst shitfaced and lots of people said she couldn’t have consented. Appreciate the mechanics can be different for a man, but still….
And I get what you are saying op but in terms of him finding someone else? If he turns out to be a vile dickhead who chooses to shag sex workers, who has only told you because he thinks he’s about to get busted? Let her have him. Because why would YOU want him?

Look he only went to Soho to go to a gay bar, but ended up in the wrong door & fell down the stairs. At the bottom he saw a "model" sign on & went in to buy an Avanti West Coast Pendolino for the train set he doesn't have. As soon as he entered the door Charlie the chimpanzee mauled his trousers off & in came a 200KG weighlifting prostitute, 5x as strong as Iiona Maher, who spun him round on her little finger & flung him on the bed. Suddendly, a tornado came into the brothel & just so happened to form on his penis. The vibrations gave him a boner, it totally wasn't sexual & nothing to do with the bare breasted woman rubbing herself. So you can understand why, she mistakely thought he wanted to have sex. She lassoed the condom like a slingshot right onto his penis & took her thong off. She was about to doubly make sure of enthusiastic consent, as is the norm in brothels, which is why she was on her phone throughout the entire encounter & dissociating into December 1926, she tripped on Henry the hedgehog & just so happened to fall right onto his penis. He fought for 30 long hard seconds to get her off him, but accidentally got himself off instead & she jumped off him immediately & disappeared into the other room. He might be a premature ejaculator but he totally would have left anyway, if he didn't cum.
He tried to find her afterwards, being the gentleman he is & offered her a hug & to go for breakfast, but she wanted £200 quid for that, so he came back home to you, who made him the breakfast in bed anyway!

If he can shag a woman who has no sexual interest in him, he can rape you. RUN. Men who use prostituted women are 18x more likely to murder women. RUN. He paid to rape a prostitute, money is not consent

Well, if you believe that, you will believe anything. Stop trying to clutch at straws and be done with this useless individual. You are worth more and worth the fidelity of a good man. Are there children involved? If not, you are free to escape post haste and leave Fiance to the rear view mirror of history. Please don't waste any more precious seconds on even thinking about this. It will bring you nothing but misery. Live your best life!

You poor thing. I don't think it's something I could personally get over, I think even if I didn't end it immediately it would end the relationship at some point. I think it will be the same for you, whether that is in a few weeks time or 10 years. Take some time to think things through.

That story reeks of bullshit though, I'm sorry to say and I think deep deep down you know it too.

So he claims that he was paralytic, but he was obviously aroused by the situation as he managed to maintain an erection to partake in sexual activity with a prostitute. He has no respect for your relationship.

Your update makes it MUCH worse. Him owning up to an employed, younger woman who wasn’t financially tied? Vaguely noble maybe (if it was true, but it’s not). Him getting you good and trapped and then having sex with a prostitute? Contemptible.

Get a job, get yourself independent, get yourself out.

I have just told op to encourage her partner to report sexual assault to police because yes, men can be sexually assaulted by women. Very rare but not an absolute impossibility

I think you are the best judge of if his story rings true or not. You know if this situation was out of his control (admittedly through drinking too much), and you know how contrite and upset he is as a result. You also know if you can move on from this and if you need further support etc.

I think you really need to dig deep into understanding if this was something that got (very) out of hand and will never be repeated, or if he will end up in similar situations in the future. Now is the time for him to come clean on anything and everything and to give a plan on how he will approach work drinks in future etc.

I don’t think you need to quit the relationship now if you don’t want to, but perhaps the wedding puts some time pressure on which isn’t helpful. Can you postpone it? I hope that you find a solution and some peace which works for you OP.

Much better than being married to a liar and a cheat.

I understand some of your fears. But you are putting too much value in this man or rather his money. What would you do if he left you? Or died and all his money and property went to clearing debt you didn't know about? The fact that you are a sahm does mean you can't change it. Start thinking of financial independence whether or not you will stay after this incident.
PS: If he really was stripped of trousers by this woman who then put his penis in her without his consent encourage him to report a sexual assault. And hopefully the while story will come out. Or you can at least hear the other side of it

Sounds like op will likely stay. She’ll be back in ten years moaning how she’s wasted her life on this scum bag.

Your response is quite telling op.
your concern is about you being lonely and the next man in your life. you’re not going to leave him, at least admit that.
he’s done the worst, you will still stay with him, he’s got away with it and will do it again. And so the toxic cycle continues.
I feel for those kids involved.

So annoyed at him for ruining our family.

As you should be. You should be murderous, in fact. Use that anger to throw him out on his sleazy, disrespectful arse.

Everyone on here will tell u to dump him. And they wouldn't be wrong either. But only u can know for sure if u can really get over this x