Granddaughter taking over weekends

But not at his mothers’ house.

I’m not the judgemental one, you’re the one claiming it’s totally optional for a father to provide overnight care for his child.

so is it fair for me to say that you think a grandmother should give up her lifestyle for her adult DS & GC? Just because she’s female and chose to become a mother decades ago….. that’s pretty wild too IF that’s what you’re suggesting.
and as I’ve clearly said dad should have 50/50 responsibility but not while in someone else’s house that isn’t happy with that arrangement!
No one seems to be listening to what OP wants!!!! This isn’t about a dad doing his fair share… this is about a grandmother wanting her space to be hers!

Why is DD sleeping in her own bed such a bad thing? Please do share…. I mean hee dad doesn’t have his own place…. When he does it’s fair to expect him to take 50/50 but not when he’s staying with someone else

If it was only for a couple of weeks then no problem.
However this doesn't look like its going to be a quick solution to resolve so virtually all the care of the child is on to mum, who at the moment is only getting one night's respite, despite the child having two involved parents. Dad just comes and takes his child for two days out and is all marvellous while mum is left to do the all the caring, bed time routines and never having a night to herself.

No I don’t … 😂 but you carry in making your small minded judgements of a stranger who you know f all about 💪🏽

Anyway @ThePerkyBiscuit it’s your house. You tell your son your boundaries and he needs to arrange his time with his DD accordingly.

Sofa beds/air beds/dad on sofa and child in proper bed… all of these options exist.

Why is it only on the mother and not the father to provide the home?

You don’t believe that there are 9 hours awake and not in work for an adult working a typical full time job?
Do you believe the sky is blue?

Well I wouldn’t want my daughter sleeping on a sofa. I’d be happy with my daughter coming home at night.

What absolute nonsense, do you actually believe what you wrote?!!

Why is DD sleeping in her own bed such a bad thing? Please do share…. I mean hee dad doesn’t have his own place…. When he does it’s fair to expect him to take 50/50 but not when he’s staying with someone else

It’s not on for this to have become the norm without your express agreement but that said he does need to step up and parent when needed

I would be suggesting he takes her out of the house for a decent chunk of the weekend, not hard in summer.

but ultimately he needs to be saving for his own place where he can have her without infringing on you.

Why not? What do you think parents do who are in temporary accommodation bedsits?

You seem to think it is solely a mother’s job to house and care for a child. Wild.

Why on earth wouldn’t he be able to have her sleep over if he had a one bed flat?

Did you stay with her EVERY weekend?

Yes! He doesn’t have his own place. If he lived in a one bed flat or shared place he wouldn’t have her sleep over ..

you've not said how long you've agreed for (or expect) your son to be there - if there isn't any agreement, you clearly need to discuss that with him.

Regardless of that, sounds like it's at least a few months away.
How big is his room - can it be more of a bed sitting room/studio, so that he can spend more time there with his daughter?
He does need to take her out more, but I can see that's difficult in the evenings.

Only downside is that might make him feel its a more permanent solution than you would like.

don't be so condescending!
I’ve never once said it’s the mums responsibility but it sure as hell isn’t the grandmothers!!!
until the dad has his OWN place he needs to consider the house he’s a lodger of… just because 30 years ago she decided to become a mother does not mean she HAS TO put him and his kid up…
mits her house and she doesn’t want the grandchild there every weekend…. That does not mean she doesn’t love her GC or that she’s a bad person, she just wants her time to be her time.
If the mother works Saturdays then he steps up and had his DD… he could also take her out Sundays BUT he does not need to have her sleepover every Saturday night as is currently the situation…. Every other is a fair compromise.
great if dads & mums can have 50/50 custody but he doesn’t have his own place!

My first question is why he has only only two days a week? Did the mum move away so he can't see her more?

However, you have a right to he annoyed. He should be looking for his own place. In the mean time he should be taking his daughter out so you can get alone time. In the meantime you have to accept it and push him to get his own place.

So you have your grown adult son living with you 7 days a week, but think he should only have his young daughter every other weekend? Is parenting not a father's job? If your son was your daughter, would you expect her to only see her daughter every other weekend?
I don't blame you at all for wanting your space, but the reasonable solution is that he gets his own place, not parent his child less, because his child, at 9 years old, needs her parent more than your 29 year old adult son needs you.

Because he’s her father, and as such should really be having her for 50% of the time?

Yes so why can’t he have her Saturdays and return her home in the evening ?
Are you actually being serious?