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AIBU?

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Original poster

Granddaughter taking over weekends

569 replies

ThePerkyBiscuit · 20/07/2025 11:01

My son (29) has moved back in with me as he's split from gf. I have lived alone for the last few years and enjoy my peace. His ex has been working on a Saturday and so my granddaughter (9) is there every Saturday overnight till Sunday. They take over the living room and tv. I enjoyed the peace I had , time for hobbies that have now been put aside at the weekends, I feel like saying this is my house and I don't want it every weekend. I feel every other weekend is reasonable. I am not the parent, obviously if something happened I would step up but it's just people putting others out cos they want what they want.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 20/07/2025 11:11

He needs to move out I think unless you are happy to continue living like this. If course he needs to be a decent parent but he is making a lot of assumptions. Have you discussed the longer term plan?

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 20/07/2025 11:11

Your son needs to move out, not have your grandchild less

BrentfordForever · 20/07/2025 11:11

Is he paying towards anything at least ?

YANBU at all!!

Needanight · 20/07/2025 11:11

Are you saying your son looks after his daughter one night a week? Stop babying your son. He should be finding a property to house him and his daughter and be a proper coparent looking after his daughter 50/50.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 20/07/2025 11:11

It sounds difficult for everyone. I can understand you needing to compromise on the tv, but I’m not sure why you GC being there affects your time for hobbies etc? Surely when she’s at yours then your son is dealing with her? Why don’t you just continue with your own plans as usual? If it’s the case they you’re becoming unduly involved with providing care/entertainment whilst she’s there, perhaps you need to be a bit firmer with your boundaries? (Although one evening/day a week doesn’t sound like loads of time you’re sacrificing to spend with your grandchild)

PeapodMcgee · 20/07/2025 11:10

Doesn't he take her out anywhere?

Presumably this is a temporary arrangement and he is saving rent by paying less rent to you then he would elsewhere, so is building up a good deposit?

JLou08 · 20/07/2025 11:10

He needs to find his own place. I'd encourage him to be taking his DD out some weeks too and giving you some space. It's not ideal for a 9 year old to be sat in front of the TV all weekend.

beesandstrawberries · 20/07/2025 11:10

it’s not that his ex is working on a Saturday so he has his child, it’s that he is a parent and that is his time with his child.

as much as I sympathise, you knew he had a child when he moved back in, so what did you expect?? The child to not be there at all?

Helianthusinbloom · 20/07/2025 11:08

Well let’s hope that he gets his own place quickly so you don’t have the chore of seeing your own granddaughter overnight once a week. You can then go back to your hobby which seems to be your priority over your family.

Hodgemollar · 20/07/2025 11:08

Why don’t you encourage your son to be a big boy, pay his own way and parent his own child?

Cherrysoup · 20/07/2025 11:07

Where are the other grandparents? I can totally empathise that your space has been invaded and it’s not what you wanted. Does your ds plan on getting his own place? Are you left to entertain her? You can’t exactly ban her from the Tv/living room but I very much empathise that you want your space back when your ds moved out and is suddenly back.

TickyandTacky · 20/07/2025 11:07

Your son is the issue not your granddaughter. She has no autonomy in the matter, your son does!

SaintGermain · 20/07/2025 11:07

What hobbies did you have? Can you involve your granddaughter in doing any with you?

Its your house so you can control the tv and change it so that they aren’t just slobbing about in front of the tv in your living room and are engaging with you, perhaps playing board games etc

Do you all go out for walks?

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 20/07/2025 11:06

Has he said anything about his plans to move?

I would be having that conversation ASAP if I felt as you did.

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 20/07/2025 11:05

You're in an impossible position. He's an adult - why has he moved back in with you? He needs his own place now he is a father.

AbzMoz · 20/07/2025 11:05

Your GD comes as a package deal with DS. You’re within your rights to suggest they go out and enjoy the park / cinema etc, and that you get to agree on which films / dinner to enjoy on a Saturday.

Is your DS looking for his own place? If he’s with you for the longer term can you make his space more separate from your own? If it’s a short term thing can you just enjoy the additional bonding time?

Pizzagirly · 20/07/2025 11:04

You are clearly being used.
You and your home.
He needs to move out.
I wouldn't want this either.

His life, his choices, YOUR home.

Poopeepoopee · 20/07/2025 11:04

How long is this expected to continue? I mean, when you agreed for him to come and live with you - did you put a timeframe on it? If not, I don't really see what you can do.

If your gc mother is working and your son not allowed to have her at yours, what are the alternatives?

IamnotSethRogan · 20/07/2025 11:03

Well what's the solution? If he's living with you he can't not see his daughter.

I don't know if you can suggest he has her at the ex"s house though she might not be keen on that idea.