Granddaughter taking over weekends

Did you notice there's not a single mention of liking this child though, not "I love seeing her but not every weekend" or whatever.
Very detached

What were you expecting when your son moved in?

Do you work full time- is there no time in the week for hobbies? Surely 6 days of the week it’s just you two?

Do you not like spending time with your granddaughter and doing things with her? I’d honestly be making the most of the last bit of her “young” childhood.

There may be a few solutions to this in practical terms, such as creating a space where you can do hobbies in peace, encouraging your son to get his own place, mixing the activities up so you can join in. But I don’t think it’s fair to start suggesting he sees his own daughter less.

Woah, hang on a minute. The woman is used to living alone, she may well work full time and be used to an empty house at the weekend to do her own thing and now she works full time and has no space to do her own thing at weekends!

FFS women of a certain age have already raised our own children. We’re fucking knackered and the expectations are that we put our children’s needs and their children’s needs before our own FOREVER.

NO! We have our own wants and we want some fucking space to breathe after 20, 30 years plus of raising a family. But no, according to you we’re not even allowed a fucking hobby in our own homes!

sitting in the living room all weekend with the bloody tv on is hardly parenting. I get the granddaughter looks to the grandparent every time she’s hungry!

I don't think a grandmother should feel guilty at wanting every other weekend to herself. When does OP get to rest?

I"m not sure why you're saying it's your GD taking over your weekends? Surely if your GD wasn't there, your son would still be there, watching TV and being in your space?

You still haven't said what your hobbies are and how them being there prevents you from just doing them... Unless you're being expected to babysit GD? Or your hobby is watching TV?

Wow I can't imagine my mum ever being like this about her grandchild being in the house and preventing her from watching TV or doing hobbies. It's your grandchild!

Yes, your son needs to work on finding his own place so you don't need to be bothered anymore. Talk to him about that and tell him how you feel about your grandchild being in the house two days a week and I think be prepared for no relationship with them when they go

Or get a TV in your room and relax in there for your shows and ask him to take her out during the day.

Your responses to previous posters are rude.

Quite. The cold cold attitude towards family on MN sometimes astounds me.

In my family grandparents tend to see their young grandchildren usually once a week. Because EVERYONE wants it. Poor kid.

Cause she didn’t expect parenting for him means staying at home all day and taking over main tv in the evening.

I totally understand where you're coming from.

I'd be very reluctant to suggest that the solution is that he see his daughter less though. There are so many shit dads out there, presumably you don't want him to be another one. He's already only doing the bare minimum with one night out of seven.

I think the solution is that your DS takes GD out for a chunk of time on each day. He could even take her away for the weekend once a month or something. Talk to your son and agree a schedule.

You aren't unreasonable, although this should have been discussed when he moved in.

He needs to get his own place, in the mean time take gc out a lot or rent a cheap airb&b for occasional nights with her.

Its great he has a relationship with his daughter and is supporting his ex. But it shouldn't impact you in ways you don't want.

So if your son is now doing more parenting than you feel comfortable with, ask him to leave.

Can you have your son put a timeline on him living with you?

Can you set up some seperate spaces in your home, i.e. your son has a tv in his room for kids shows or early mornings etc?

Can he do something regularly with his child so you know they will be out? I.e. Swimming Saturday morning, park on Sunday.

It is perfectly reasonable that you are finding it a bit much.

It sounds like he has moved in and he is expecting you to step up.

Tell him what you've written here.
It's your space and he needs to respect that. Surely he's perfectly able to take her out at the weekend and/or watch TV in his room sometime.

So your answer is the mother should be doing 12 days of care of every 14?
I still don’t understand why you allowed him to move into your home when he has a child you don’t want around.
Your son needs to move out and provide for his child.

Don't be so fucking offensive. OP didn't choose this or cause this.

Her feelings are perfectly acceptable and she doesn't have to be a martyr to a shit man.

The double standards on here are so ridiculous sometimes. If the father posted moaning a this DM he'd be attacked and told it's not her child and not his home.

That sounds awful, your poor mum.

However OP is not looking after the child, and is only concerned they can’t watch tv on Saturday night

Ah, the OP is one of those who only respond to the most extreme replies to their OP in single sentences. Tedious.

Realistically, he has to have his daughter - do you want him to move out? perhaps ask him?

When you agreed for your DS to move in with you did you not realise that meant your GC spending time at your house?