Granddaughter taking over weekends

How long does your son expect to live with you? Does he have a plan to move out into his own home?

He isn't unreasonable to want to see his daughter every weekend, but he should have discussed it with you first.

It's about them being in her space, in her house, more than she can cope with. She's not unreasonable in this.

This is an awful comment.

It’s for the PARENTS to consider the needs of their child not the grandparent. I’m sure this woman would love to spend some time with her granddaughter but it’s all weekend, every weekend.

im only 57 but I can’t imagine working full time and having a nine year old in my house all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Just when I’d got a taste of having a bit of time to
myself and able to practice some hobbies.

Exactly. She just has to say that to them.

@bellamorgan

no one says that.

Then you need to discuss this with him, tell him how you feel and together work out a compromise……….its called ‘communication’ !!!

Nowhere does the OP say she's running round after her son and grandchild all weekend.

When your son moved back home, I assume your granddaughter was staying EOW? Whilst living with you, this has now changed to every weekend, due to your son's ex working? Did your son tell you the arrangements with his ex had changed or was this sprung on you? I do think you have every right to be miffed. However, your son is a Dad, and being the other parent, it's his responsibility to help with childcare. I am assuming living with you is a temporary arrangement? You need to talk to your son, ask him what he's doing to provide a permanent solution to his housing. Be honest, say as much as you love him and your granddaughter, you want your home back. It doesn't make you a terrible Mum or grandmother admitting that.

Not wanting something to happen every weekend, in your space, is perfectly OK. OP is entitled to her own life.

You’re not replying to most people, though, are you? Lots of people have said you need to speak to your son to agree either a timeframe for him moving out and/or him not hogging the lounge/TV. But you’ve ignored most of those posts.

Perhaps you could answer this? Are you working or retired?

By it, she obviously means the situation.
🫣

Why don't you just tell them she's not wanted and to stop coming over every week?

2 days out of 7 isn’t a huge about of parenting. 50/50 is what is usually recommended.

Others berating you never ask if you work and need to relax in YOUR home. I think you must work if you do hobbies on a weekend that can be done at home. The obvious solution is your son finds a 2 bedroom place to rent so he can have his own place and his daughter have a home. I don't think blaming your granddaughter is reasonable when she is the child. Your son is the adult and father who should be looking to get his own place. Have you spoken to him about this? I hope you have a loving relationship with both of them, but your home is your place to relax after working all week and now you are expected to change your whole life and your son isn't considering the impact on you. He needs to take his daughter out and give her some bonding time with dad too. My parents worked and my sister used them to have 3 grandchildren at least one weekend to stay over every month and babysit other times. My mum loved them, but told me she felt so tired and her friends never had their grandchildren as much as they did. People need to realise grandparents are older too in general, but even in your 50s you still work and deserve to have your home to relax in. You need a heart to heart with your son, no blaming, uncaring etc but tell him honestly it is impacting your health and feeling like you can't even do what you did in your own home. Time he took full responsibility and got himself a home.

I sympathise wholeheartedly, BUT....

In reality your son should be parenting his daughter equally with his ex. It sounds like this isn't the case at the moment?

It also very much depends on what was agreed at the time he moved back. Was it a permanent arrangement or just temporary while he sorted himself out.

If it's temporary, then just ride it out, but perhaps suggest to your son that if it's going to be for the foreseeable future, then you need not to feel excluded from your own living room. Board games and family film nights might be nice, as well as time for you to relax and do your hobbies too.

If it's going to be more permanent, then in reality the child should actually be with you more often and maybe a change of layout might be needed to give everyone their own space, including your granddaughter who will need space for homework etc in years to come.

If there is more to it then why don’t you set it out? People are just going on what you’ve said in your own posts where your first solution seems to be that your son does less parenting and sees his own daughter once a fortnight. Most people find that a bit odd.

…another MN day … another rage-bait post.

These posts go one of two ways:

1. OP never comes back, and thread descends into people fighting with each other
2. OP come back, being snipping and critical to people who disagree, in other words “winding them up” so the thread descends into fighting

In all of them, it’s not “AIBU” as the OP doesn’t think they are unreasonable … it’s just a Rage-Bait Post created for an argument

There are loads of them on here atm.

This.

Ideally your 29 year old son needs to find his own place, with space to have his daughter more rather than less, pretty much yesterday.

Until he gets his act together he should continue to have her at the bare minimum the Saturday night each week, but should be far more considerate of you and take her out rather than take over your living room for the entire weekend. Watching TV all weekend is a bit rubbish for your granddaughter anyway.

I feel like saying this is my house and I don't want it every weekend. I feel every other weekend is reasonable.

"It"?

It is your house so you are, of course, entitled to make the rules. But I feel sad for the little girl who, in addition to the upheaval of separation, will now have to see her Dad less. If her DM is working then it would also be a shame if she had to quit her job because of this situation although I appreciate that's not your problem either.

The solution is for the son to take granddaughter out so OP can get a bit of space. Not see her less.