Granddaughter taking over weekends

Being a parent doesn't stop when your child becomes an adult.

What are you blathering on about, you have absolutely no idea of OPs financial situation and even if she did buy property ages ago, her SON is responsible for making his own way in his life.

Jesus

shows how open-minded and welcoming the OP is.

Poor kid, I do feel sorry for the grand-daughter stuck in the middle, when she should be living her best life, she's 9, it should be fun, not surrounded by adults who resent her living.

Boo hoo.

if you are ok for your son to live with you but want weekends free then sit him down and say on a weekend when he has granddaughter he needs to make the effort to make the house free for you. take her out, weekends away, days out etc

The fact that you want her to provide so much justification speaks volumes. Why does she have to give such specifics, why is “impacting my hobbies” not enough?

it could be as simple as “what are you doing granny? Can I join in?” Which, is probably lovely when she’s just there for a couple of hours. It’s great to include grandchildren in your hobbies sometime, but when it’s all weekend, every weekend it gives you no down time. Hobbies are there to relax us, to give us a mental health break.

Ultimately your son should be caring for his daughter, as regularly as he does but as it's your home, you need to ask your son to move out, if his childcare arrangements don't suit you. Your granddaughter and her mum are in no way to blame for this situation.

It’s. One. Day. A. Week.

You can and should sacrifice ONE DAY a week to help your children / grandchildren temporarily.

You don’t just stop being a parent because your kids have grown up. Yes he’s an adult and should be responsible for his own life but everyone can fall on hard times and I know I would be there to help my dc in any way I could no matter how old they are.

Her son can look after his child, I agree take her out now it’s summer, she can still do her hobbies. But for gods sake if once a week she loses her sitting room so her granddaughter gets to have time with her dad, suck it up and go to bed! Maybe an early night would help! Hope I never get this miserable.

I don't know what I would have done without my parents after I left my first husband in my early 20s due to abuse. I left with my 1 y.o son and would have been lost without their help.

They didn't ask for money but wanted to know my plans for the future. Both of them were working, which meant leaving my son in childcare. I changed my work shifts to be with him on weekends, I paid for most groceries....I tried as much as possible not to be a burden to my parents. Not that I ever felt like a burden. They were wonderful, and will forever remember their help when I needed them most.

Curious as to why people are still asking OP questions, when she has clearly said goodbye and left the thread.

Is this a temporary or permanent arrangement? Will your son be looking to getting his own place?
Do you work full time so that Saturday evening is your only time to relax?
Does your son take his daughter out during the day and does she go to bed at a reasonable time?
I think a lot depends on the answers to those questions.
If your son cares for his daughter himself and you have time to yourself during the week I think you are being unreasonable to resent a bit of disruption on a Saturday.
I'm a Gran to 6 and if one of them had recently gone through the separation of their parents I would want to be giving them a nice time and somewhere to relax.
Do you enjoy the grandchild's company?
If you are very busy working all week, which gets tiring as you get older, and your son is taking the piss by expecting you to do all the work, then that's different.
I think your son needs to be looking for his own accommodation but I think it's sad that you don't enjoy your grandchild more.

And yet she can’t really provide any details on how her hobbies are impacted by a 9 year old sleeping over once a week. There’s also no suggestion that she provides any childcare whatsoever so it’s totally irrelevant that other grandparents may do that.

Poor kid. Her life has been turned upside down and now Grandma doesn't want her there because of her hobbies. It won't be forever just now at a difficult uncertain time.

Instead of moaning about your granddaughter on mumsnet have a discussion with your son regarding what he plans to do and when.

@MumWifeOther

Why do you begrudge OP taking herself into consideration as well as her son and grandchild? Do you think she’s worthy of being of consideration?

The op is specifically saying that the accommodations expected of her are interfering with her hobbies.

how does a grandparent travel if regular childcare is expected of them?

Me me me me me me 😴 it’s one bloody day week. Get a grip.

Rubbish. Literally no one is expecting you or the OP to give up hobbies and travelling because you’re a grandparent.

I think you need to find out first and foremost how long he's planning to stay for. I don't take my daughter out every weekend and in fact some weekends I take her to her her granny's, so I don't think it's reasonable either to tell him not have her or to tell him to always take her out. The only reasonable solution is to tell him to change his living situation.

Hopefully he's working and is saving as he's not paying mortgage or rent every month, so he'll be able to save for his own place.

Shes 9 years old, what sort of going out on a Saturday night do you envisage?
Cinema
Bowling
Ice skating
Arcade centre
Late tea out.
Ice cream parlour
Ice skating if rink is open to general public, ours is on Saturday nights.
It's light night at the moment so day trips until late evening

Weekly trips to any of the above is a great way to ensure he never has enough money to move out.
He might not be in a rush to go by the sounds of it.

Those activities don't have to be done every week.
Some can be done cheaply.
Days out to the next town on bus or train if no car and explore new parks, beaches if nearby, countryside. These are the things my parents did with us when we didn't have much money and I did the same with mine.

Cinemas often have deals or cinemas like Reel are very cheap, just don't buy popcorn and drink.

Ice skating can be expensive but it can be used as a treat every couple of months.
There will possibly other stuff going on in their area fir them to tap into.

Well this particular one has send. I also have a 17 year old so any “travelling” would have had to have waited until around now. This would then potentially have to stop if I became a grandparent.

You're quite right! I should bloody know, I lived in Australia for 12 years!!!