MIL giving toddler tea

Don't understand what the issue with this is supposed to be tbh, as long as it's not boiling hot.

My kids don't stay with my mum very much (through her own choice) but when they do I have no idea what they eat/drink most of the time.

I think this is a generational thing, my mil also presumed she'd be giving her grandchildren tea and was incredulous when I said I'd never had tea until the age of about 13/14. I was pregnant when this conversation happened and ended up with a child who only drinks water anyway, won't even drink squash.

I would just make sure they're supervised especially as the dementia progresses.

Both my two dc had weak milky tea with sugar from about 2 years old. They loved it and still drink it now. No harm done.

Honestly, it's definitely better for him to drop this. It could be a lovely memory for your DD when she's older of connecting with her granny.

Mellow Birds coffee and digestive biscuits reminds me of my grandparents.

Am I reading a different thread from you and half the other posters?

OP thinks her DH was unreasonable to upset his DM over it.

My Gran used to put her little finger into a tin of condensed milk and then let me suck it off when I was an infant. My mother nearly had.a fit when she saw what was happening.but.Dad stood his ground and.defended his mother. It happened once a week and lasted a couple of minutes.he said..and the old lady thought she was giving me a luxury. Mum had to let it be.

Had a massive panic my DIL had joined mumsnet! But I'm only 47

My 2yo DGS actually ASKS me for tea & will finish the tepid dregs from my mug the moment I turn my back! It's strong earl grey too with very little milk 😂

So then I have to get his little mug out & make him his own, tea with hot water in the bottom, then dilute with cold water & a tiny bit of milk so it looks like mine does & he bloody wolfs it down.

I'm actually going to get some decaf in for him cos although this only happens like once a week, it's still a sensible idea.

In your specific situation, don't worry. At all.

Aww just let the baby bond with grandma over a bit of tea. Dont be a killjoy. Nannas not gonna be around forever. Its only tea what harm can it do?
My grandad used to let me and the other grandkids sip the head off his guiness. We're all still here to tell the tale and its a lovely core memory I have of him. I think youre bring unreasonable and a little OTT

Very Good idea.

It may be cool tea today, but next time it could be hot.

We had to keep diving in to stop my DM from leaving hot mugs of tea on the arms of chairs/sofas etc.. after my toddler walked towards her and put his entire hand in a mug of freshly made hot tea. We just couldn't stop her doing it again and again even after that and had to keep a close eye out on toddler and be nearby to divert or set the tea up at the table for her.. all of which took some managing

You are being ridiculous and insulting. It's not going to do ANY harm in those amounts.

It doesn’t matter whether she would have done it before the dementia, you (and DH) need to let that thought go and deal with the here and now. I have my dad with Alzheimer’s living with me and frankly he was never housetrained 😂 so I do completely sympathise - but now she does have dementia, so she wouldn’t be able to take on board and retain your instruction not to do it even if she wanted to. Getting frustrated with her, as understandable as it is, will make it worse. You and DH need to have a meeting without her present, agree which of her behaviours really can’t be tolerated - if giving your toddler tea is a red line for you, write it down - and put together a strategy for preventing it (maybe if MIL has a cup of tea, one of you is on 1-2-1 toddler-supervision duty?)

Dementia is a long haul, so you have to be as calm and practical about it as you can. Be realistic about what she can and can’t help, and find other ways to head off situations that are going to upset you.

When one of you is getting the LO settled on her lap, the other adult can scout for anything close to hand that you dont want handed to LO and clear it out of the way. No need to say anything, just quietly set it all up for success

Just let your child sit on her lap and provide a cup of milk or something else suitable that she can give him.

I have very fond memories of tasting my nanna's tea ❤️ she used to have hers weak black with lemon, or sometimes just black with milk and a bucket load of sugar 🤭 it was a real treat to taste Nanna's tea!

I also remember trying to recreate Nanna's tea at home but it was never the same.

Not worth getting upset about imo. If that's how their relationship goes, let it. It's not like it's a whole cup presumably, just the odd sip.

I would be stopping her doing it. Don’t let your child sit on her lap when she has a cup of tea to hand. Sugar is really bad for children’s teeth.

I doubt the 18 month old is supping enough regularly enough for this to be close to dangerous. Plus tea is great, got to start them on it some time! (That bit is a joke)

I suggest you read upon dementia. You state that you were were there, get some common sense and stop it from happening if it bother you FFS.

Please just let her enjoy being a granny while she still can. These moments are so precious.

Why not put his milk cup and some snacks next to her so she can give him those instead?

No point discussing it with her she likely won’t remember which is probably why she keeps doing it.

Next time he’s having a cuddle with her, one of you move her cup out of reach for a small amount of time or tell her preemptively not to give him tea, you may have to say that a couple of times.

I wouldn’t be worried about the sip of tea but the scalding risk.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tiny amount of caffeine and sugar. Tea inhibits iron absorption, so make sure you are giving him iron rich foods. Other than that, it doesn't seem worth upsetting her. I'd think carefully about how safe she is to hold him though.

Surely this is easily avoided by keeping your baby away from her while she drinks her tea? Then you can remove the cup and let baby sit on her lap.

Absolutely. I'd be a bit put out if my kids started demanding a cuppa with breakfast 😁.