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AIBU?

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Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

318 replies

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:40

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 09:07

justasking111 · 20/07/2025 08:57

Our neighbour loved his ivy growing all over our fencing insisted it gave them privacy into their dining room which they never used. The fencing was as rotten as a peach. One stormy night the whole lot blew down. We very quickly organised the fencing people to clear the six panels and replace with concrete posts and new more robust panels. Our neighbour now the ivy had gone found room for a shed and was delighted with the new fencing.

Some people just don't like change, until it happens.

What’s the betting the fence was old and the posts had rotted at the roots.
Fencing needs replacing after 15-20 years anyway. Sooner if the ground is very wet.

Maddy70 · 20/07/2025 09:05

Ivy creeping through is damaging their fence you have to maintain it better

Shar270 · 20/07/2025 09:03

If the ivy gets as far as their bushes it will grow up and through all of them and then is a complete PITA to get rid of, I can understand why they're concerned. There are a million plants that don't spread aggressively and that are good for bees (and far, far prettier) that you could chose to grow. I don't think anyone 'chooses' to grow English Ivy anyway, it's just a weed that appears. Why not get rid of it and grow something that doesn't spread aggressively that they won't have to worry about?

justasking111 · 20/07/2025 08:57

Our neighbour loved his ivy growing all over our fencing insisted it gave them privacy into their dining room which they never used. The fencing was as rotten as a peach. One stormy night the whole lot blew down. We very quickly organised the fencing people to clear the six panels and replace with concrete posts and new more robust panels. Our neighbour now the ivy had gone found room for a shed and was delighted with the new fencing.

Some people just don't like change, until it happens.

Da1ryQu33n · 20/07/2025 08:55

EleanorMc67 · 20/07/2025 01:58

So much misinformation about ivy here - I'm amazed! Speaking as a Landscape Architect & garden designer, I've been planting it in projects for over thirty years & it will not cause any problems IF IT IS MAINTAINED PROPERLY - which is the same for any relatively vigorous plant in your garden.

Generally speaking the species (Hedera helix aka English Ivy) grows fastest, but there are many cultivars that are much slower-growing & more ornamental eg Glacier, which is variegated. Ivy, contrary to what some posters have said, is brilliant for wildlife - it flowers in autumn when insects find it a great late source of nectar, & birds love its berries, which are very high in nutrients. It also allows insects to hibernate.

It will only damage walls if they are already cracked or in poor condition - if your masonry is sound it will not cause damage, & in fact studies show it generally protects walls. Whereas over-forceful stripping of ivy from house or garden walls actually causes damage! Ditto ivy will only damage tiles on roofs etc if left completely unchecked.

The OP's ivy is on a fence. Ivy will not "rot" a standard timber fence or trellis - most cheap fencing will start to fall apart within 20 years anyway. If the fence isn't close-boarded then there's a possibility that some stems growing through will thicken with age & could warp the fence. However, checking & trimming it once or twice a year will prevent that, & also keep it from overhanging into your (anally retentive ..!!) neighbours' garden. That's all - no more effort than trimming a hedge twice a year, & an awful lot less than mowing lawns!!

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll listen to the Royal Horticultural Society ...?!! Maybe, OP, you could send this article to your neighbours ... 😁

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

I’ve been after glacier ivy for ages, it’s always out of stock or expensive. Any good sources?

Da1ryQu33n · 20/07/2025 08:53

BeMellowAquaSquid · 20/07/2025 08:28

I don’t know why anyone would want to have Ivy in their garden to be honest I wouldn’t just cut it back I’d dig it out. It’s dangerous for dogs, is a beacon for pests, strangles other plants, is evasive to structures such as sheds and walls. It’s evil and unsightly.

Wow what an uninformed post. Ivy is lovely and there are many, many Ivy plants sold on Crocus that are v popular. I know as they're often out of stock. It's fantastic for wildlife and beautiful, I want more!

Its leaves provide year-round hiding, roosting and hibernating places for various insects, birds and small mammals.
It is a preferred nesting plant for dunnocks, flycatchers, wrens and robins.
Its leaves are an important food source for caterpillars of many butterflies and moths, including the holly blue butterfly and swallow-tailed moth
If allowed to flower, it offers an invaluable late pollen and nectar source to many pollinating insects, including bees, hoverflies, wasps, butterflies and moths, and its high-fat berries are eaten by numerous different garden birds.

It tastes bitter so dogs won't eat it and if they did it just makes them unwell sickness and diarrhoea).
There are far more dangerous plants.

Ivy doesn't cause structural damage as its aerial roots can't bird into masonry and it can actually be beneficial. It's just an issue if there are existing cracks which you'd seriously hope there not to be.

Op isn't talking about a building but a fence so
OP just cut back stems poking through and enjoy it on your side. Inform your neighbour that is what will be happening and you don't want any more discussion on the subject.

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 08:43

EleanorMc67 · 20/07/2025 01:58

So much misinformation about ivy here - I'm amazed! Speaking as a Landscape Architect & garden designer, I've been planting it in projects for over thirty years & it will not cause any problems IF IT IS MAINTAINED PROPERLY - which is the same for any relatively vigorous plant in your garden.

Generally speaking the species (Hedera helix aka English Ivy) grows fastest, but there are many cultivars that are much slower-growing & more ornamental eg Glacier, which is variegated. Ivy, contrary to what some posters have said, is brilliant for wildlife - it flowers in autumn when insects find it a great late source of nectar, & birds love its berries, which are very high in nutrients. It also allows insects to hibernate.

It will only damage walls if they are already cracked or in poor condition - if your masonry is sound it will not cause damage, & in fact studies show it generally protects walls. Whereas over-forceful stripping of ivy from house or garden walls actually causes damage! Ditto ivy will only damage tiles on roofs etc if left completely unchecked.

The OP's ivy is on a fence. Ivy will not "rot" a standard timber fence or trellis - most cheap fencing will start to fall apart within 20 years anyway. If the fence isn't close-boarded then there's a possibility that some stems growing through will thicken with age & could warp the fence. However, checking & trimming it once or twice a year will prevent that, & also keep it from overhanging into your (anally retentive ..!!) neighbours' garden. That's all - no more effort than trimming a hedge twice a year, & an awful lot less than mowing lawns!!

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll listen to the Royal Horticultural Society ...?!! Maybe, OP, you could send this article to your neighbours ... 😁

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

Thank you!

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 08:41

OddSocksAreCool · 20/07/2025 00:33

Ivy is a complete pain in the arse. The school behind us doesn't control it and as a result I can grow fuck all in my garden, have spent hundreds on trying to kill it unsuccessfully cos I can't get to the roots, and it's now growing under my patio causing a ton of expensive damage. You need to sort it out.

Why can you not grow anything because of Ivy? My garden has it along a fence and I grow loads of other plants, trees and flowers.

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 08:38

TizerorFizz · 19/07/2025 23:18

@kistanbul It’s none of that! Ivy roots can cause issues in drains and can separate mortar between bricks and damage foundations. It’s got aerial roots too and they go everywhere. The roots grow from the stems and it’s how the plant climbs but they damage what it clings to. No one is wrong or mistaken except you. As it’s evergreen it’s poor for birds and doesn’t have fruit birds like.

You’re very wrong about birds not liking the berries! I have seen blackbirds and thrushes myself eating them! in the spring, the flowers attract many bees and other pollinators.

This is from Suffolk Wildlife Trust:

“Ivy berries finally ripen in early spring, just as other resources have been exhausted and bird life flocks to these high energy treats. Blackbirds, thrushes, blackcaps and starlings have all been recorded feasting on ivy berries. If lucky, you might see redwings re-fuelling on a cold late winter day”

totalrocket · 20/07/2025 08:34

My goodness. What a big deal about ivy. Maybe offer to pay for a gap free panel behind it and keep it trimmed as you are. Boundaried many an ivy and it never caused such an issue as desribed. In one house I used to try and grow ivy and the neighbour poisoned it so wouldn’t grow. 😄. Instead of privacy i had to watch them throw chicken carcasses into the garden for wildlife. 🤮

JohnofWessex · 20/07/2025 08:30

Cut it back & apply stump killer

RampantIvy · 20/07/2025 08:29

orangedream · 19/07/2025 23:26

You must be getting ivy confused with something else.

I agree.

Ivy is incredibly invasive and does damage fences and brickwork. At least the type of ivy growing through the fence at the back of our garden does. We have already had to replace one trellis because the other one rotted due to the ivy.

BeMellowAquaSquid · 20/07/2025 08:28

I don’t know why anyone would want to have Ivy in their garden to be honest I wouldn’t just cut it back I’d dig it out. It’s dangerous for dogs, is a beacon for pests, strangles other plants, is evasive to structures such as sheds and walls. It’s evil and unsightly.

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 08:25

Nanny0gg · 19/07/2025 21:35

I had ivy for 20 years taking over my garden

No sign of thrushes

That’s because they are rare nowadays! People using fake grass, tearing out hedges, concreting over drives, using slug repellent…

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 20/07/2025 08:11

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:50

@TY78910 the only thing I can think is that our children can be a bit loud and excitable when they're playing in the garden. Only this time of year and only for an hour or two each day interspersed with being inside. But we always tell them to be quiet if it gets too loud or we bring them in if it gets too much. And tbh, their dog barks quite a bit too if we go in our garden so it's not just noise from our side.

But if it was to do with that, they can just say! So I'm not sure.

I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

Lazy ageist assumptions like this do not add to the strength of your argument.

Peekaboooooo · 20/07/2025 07:47

EleanorMc67 · 20/07/2025 01:58

So much misinformation about ivy here - I'm amazed! Speaking as a Landscape Architect & garden designer, I've been planting it in projects for over thirty years & it will not cause any problems IF IT IS MAINTAINED PROPERLY - which is the same for any relatively vigorous plant in your garden.

Generally speaking the species (Hedera helix aka English Ivy) grows fastest, but there are many cultivars that are much slower-growing & more ornamental eg Glacier, which is variegated. Ivy, contrary to what some posters have said, is brilliant for wildlife - it flowers in autumn when insects find it a great late source of nectar, & birds love its berries, which are very high in nutrients. It also allows insects to hibernate.

It will only damage walls if they are already cracked or in poor condition - if your masonry is sound it will not cause damage, & in fact studies show it generally protects walls. Whereas over-forceful stripping of ivy from house or garden walls actually causes damage! Ditto ivy will only damage tiles on roofs etc if left completely unchecked.

The OP's ivy is on a fence. Ivy will not "rot" a standard timber fence or trellis - most cheap fencing will start to fall apart within 20 years anyway. If the fence isn't close-boarded then there's a possibility that some stems growing through will thicken with age & could warp the fence. However, checking & trimming it once or twice a year will prevent that, & also keep it from overhanging into your (anally retentive ..!!) neighbours' garden. That's all - no more effort than trimming a hedge twice a year, & an awful lot less than mowing lawns!!

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll listen to the Royal Horticultural Society ...?!! Maybe, OP, you could send this article to your neighbours ... 😁

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

@EleanorMc67 thank you for this information. That's all good to know.

OP posts:
Walkden · 20/07/2025 02:21

"I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands."

You sound very judgemental and ageist maybe . What if someone said the real problem is you are a young couple who are selfish and entitled?

If you do not have time to maintain your garden/ ivy properly you should dispose of it. Unlike your infirm shared neighbour at the back you are quite capable of preventing the ivy invading their garden and taking root behind / amongst/ underneath their shrubs; you just can't be bothered.

You neighbours are in their 70's; they may not be agile enough unable to reach around the shrubs to remove the ivy going through the fence and preventing it rooting in their garden and this will only get harder for them. Frankly they shouldn't have to anyway.

If you like the ivy and want to keep it make the effort to control it properly

BettyCrockerClinic · 20/07/2025 02:03

They sound like total arse wipes. Tell them to go fuck themselves.

EleanorMc67 · 20/07/2025 01:58

So much misinformation about ivy here - I'm amazed! Speaking as a Landscape Architect & garden designer, I've been planting it in projects for over thirty years & it will not cause any problems IF IT IS MAINTAINED PROPERLY - which is the same for any relatively vigorous plant in your garden.

Generally speaking the species (Hedera helix aka English Ivy) grows fastest, but there are many cultivars that are much slower-growing & more ornamental eg Glacier, which is variegated. Ivy, contrary to what some posters have said, is brilliant for wildlife - it flowers in autumn when insects find it a great late source of nectar, & birds love its berries, which are very high in nutrients. It also allows insects to hibernate.

It will only damage walls if they are already cracked or in poor condition - if your masonry is sound it will not cause damage, & in fact studies show it generally protects walls. Whereas over-forceful stripping of ivy from house or garden walls actually causes damage! Ditto ivy will only damage tiles on roofs etc if left completely unchecked.

The OP's ivy is on a fence. Ivy will not "rot" a standard timber fence or trellis - most cheap fencing will start to fall apart within 20 years anyway. If the fence isn't close-boarded then there's a possibility that some stems growing through will thicken with age & could warp the fence. However, checking & trimming it once or twice a year will prevent that, & also keep it from overhanging into your (anally retentive ..!!) neighbours' garden. That's all - no more effort than trimming a hedge twice a year, & an awful lot less than mowing lawns!!

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll listen to the Royal Horticultural Society ...?!! Maybe, OP, you could send this article to your neighbours ... 😁

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

Ivy on buildings and fences / RHS

Ivy on buildings and fences / RHS

Ivy is an attractive and invaluable plant for adding year-round interest to walls and fences, especially in shade. However, its vigorous nature means it can quickly grow out-of-bounds.

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

DiscoBeat · 20/07/2025 01:38

We've got ivy in a few places which isn't causing a problem - I quite like it there (most places zero tolerance for it though due to the other plants). It's on one bit of fence and rather than damage it it's sort of reinforced it! I would probably wouldn't have it on a shared fence though.

OddSocksAreCool · 20/07/2025 00:33

Ivy is a complete pain in the arse. The school behind us doesn't control it and as a result I can grow fuck all in my garden, have spent hundreds on trying to kill it unsuccessfully cos I can't get to the roots, and it's now growing under my patio causing a ton of expensive damage. You need to sort it out.

Noshadelamp · 20/07/2025 00:28

Ivy is thought to attract rats,cindonr know if it's true but I know people thnk this.

So that might be one reason they're so against ivy. Maybe someone has recently mentioned it to them which is why they've been fine up until now.

lifeonmars100 · 19/07/2025 23:52

Juniperberry55 · 19/07/2025 22:47

Ohhh I missed that the neighbours had bamboo growing. If that's not properly contained I would make a deal, they kill off their bamboo and you'll kill off your ivy. Both gardens could become overrun with ivy and bamboo. That sounds like an absolute nightmare

I had both! have spent £100s getting it all cleared and dug out, bamboo planted by idiot neigbour and ivy that appeared from a wall that runs across the back of all the houses, It has been a nightmare. I doubt that either are fully vanquished so i keep a watchful eye open for their return.

Wolfpinkola · 19/07/2025 23:46

LucasBuck · 19/07/2025 23:25

YANBU. I don’t understand Mumsnet sometimes. It’s on your fence - not damaging their fence or worse, any brickwork. You cut it back when asked (your neighbours are incredibly rude to call you lazy, so I wouldn’t hurry to do so again in future!). They are obviously welcome to cut anything that does come over to their side. There are far worse neighbour annoyances than ivy on a fence -your neighbours would love my garden, it hasn’t been maintained in years apart from some basic lawn mowing 🤣

This. They sound like petty dickheads - ignore

Wolfpinkola · 19/07/2025 23:44

Are you sure it’s not Virginia creeper. Looks identical.

Cut it at the root if they’re that bothered, it’ll grow back within about half an hour