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Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

318 replies

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:40

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

OP posts:
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TalkToTheHand123 · 11/08/2025 23:32

How are you supposed to remove it when there is a fence in the way though? I have thought about digging under the fence in sections at a time.

justasking111 · 11/08/2025 17:44

DH was given some syringes with needles when a dentist retired. The old fashioned kind. I dreamt of injecting the roots with weedkiller sometimes.

My advice wait for a storm in the dead of night and pull them down ninja saboteurs style. Our neighbours did come down in a storm, thankfully. So we have nice new fencing.

Ibelievetheworldisburningtotheground · 11/08/2025 11:17

TalkToTheHand123 · 11/08/2025 11:04

The ivy coming from my neighbours is totally wrecking my fence.

Same.

We noticed just this week that branches are not only coming between the wooden panels (which I keep cutting off/back), but the bulky 'trunk' is now expanding and pushing out two of the fence panels. It's so infuriating, especially since we know fine well they don't give a shit and won't fix it.

TalkToTheHand123 · 11/08/2025 11:04

The ivy coming from my neighbours is totally wrecking my fence.

Rubyupbeat · 29/07/2025 09:29

It's really invasive and quick growing, plus most killers won't kill it. I say this from having it in my front and back garden, it's a constant battle, so I can understand your neighbour's point of view. A neighbour further up our road has removed it from the front of his house, well, the damage on the brick work is unbelievable .

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/07/2025 09:19

TalkToTheHand123 · 22/07/2025 23:49

I'm getting it from 2 neighbours. One had the cheek to offer to help me cut some back on my side after they built an extra fence for their hot tub, which I now let grow high and push over back to their side 😂.

Why is that cheeky ?
They offered to help

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/07/2025 09:18

Peekaboooooo · 20/07/2025 09:56

This is how the fence is looking. The bits of ivy on the ground are just the bits that have been cut.

Where was the before pic ?

ivy is awful. I said previously next doors just spouts into my garden and takes over

i paid for someone to come and cut it back when I had decking put in

bottom pic is 2w later and you can see it over the top of fence again and creeping Up to the right of the pic

I am on weekly guard now and chopping /pulling any I see

Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?
AddictedToBooks · 28/07/2025 11:04

Sorry but I can't stand ivy - we used to have and I really liked it - until it detroyed our garage and we had to demolish the garage.
Also it's really toxic and that's another worry of mine because of my pets.
We have a neighbour that lives on the road behind us, and a few houses down but her ivy has invaded 5 gardens on our road (our back gardens meet) about 4 gardens on her own road (not including hers obviously) and is now starting to invade mine and is creeping onto our newly built garage.
She's ignored everyone who's asked her nicely to keep it cut back and it's a menace. It's choked neighbours plants, wrapped itself around garden features and it's hard work for the neighbours who do try to remove it because it keeps growing back and crawling under. over and through fences - not really fair when THEY didn't choose or want this ivy.

Boomerma1969 · 28/07/2025 10:29

Ivy is a very invasive plant and takes root quite easily. I wd harbour a guess in that if they are in their late 70s, even if they are active, they may struggle to bend down and get onto their knees and back up again easily. I say this coz I'm in my 50s with arthritic knees and my mum now in her 80s struggled from her 70s to bend and go down into her knees without pain or fear of falling. Getting back up again is equally hard for her. It may be easier for u and hubby with nice young limbs, but it cd really be a painful chore for them. I do hope I don't sound too preachy btw ☺️ PS maybe take all ivy out along their border and plant some elsewhere in your garden

TalkToTheHand123 · 22/07/2025 23:49

I'm getting it from 2 neighbours. One had the cheek to offer to help me cut some back on my side after they built an extra fence for their hot tub, which I now let grow high and push over back to their side 😂.

Unforgettablefire · 22/07/2025 23:38

I was in a garden centre and picked up an ivy plant, I mentioned to a man next to me I was hoping it would spread to cover an ugly path. He said it’ll do more than that, turns out he was a builder and had gone into a house to do a job and there was ivy growing inside the bedroom! It had grown through the walls and was spreading!
That’s something you’d expect from Japanese knotweed I don’t know how it’s not in the same class. Op your neighbour is right to be annoyed when it’s that invasive and damaging.

FloydWasACat · 22/07/2025 21:43

Also cost a lot of money for us to trim it and tame it. Not fair.

FloydWasACat · 22/07/2025 21:38

Ivy is a pain in the arse from a neighbours side coming over! It has totally destroyed some of our garden because it is so invasive.

ScartlettSole · 22/07/2025 20:35

myplace · 19/07/2025 22:31

@Peekaboooooo if they are generally nice and you get on well, I think you have to accept the ivy is more of a problem than you realise. They have tried several times to draw your attention to it, but you haven’t been that bothered as you think it’s unnecessary.

I think youve got it spot on. They probably started out pleasant but as OP has clearly disregarded them theyve got pissed off, its taken multiple comments saying the same thing just for her to finally realise it is a bloody issue.

I love the look of ivy but not a chance id be having it near my garden. There was gorgeous ivy in a local woodland and it took down a big brick wall which caused all sorts of bloody issues and resulted in a road being shut to rebuild it (wall was roadside) so i can see why they don't want it taking hold!

Northernladdette · 22/07/2025 07:16

I think the neighbour would prefer it was dug out rather than cut back. It’s constantly invading their garden and they’re fed up with it. They’ve asked you politely, now they’re getting miffed as it appears it hasn’t been done to their satisfaction.
Be a considerate neighbour, they’re thin on the ground 🙂

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/07/2025 22:45

BogRollBOGOF · 19/07/2025 21:41

Ivy works its way through the slats in the fences and gradually breaks them apart and the weight pulls them down if it's allowed to gain too much bulk.

There are many, much more civilised plants to create habitats and food for wildlife than destructive ivy (and brambles)

This. I’ve had the back of my garden cleared and decking and ivy is starting to squeeze through the fence behind me

I got it cleared with the decking but it’s coming from behind and every day I cut it down I’d see a new bit

its uncontrollable

Juniperberry55 · 21/07/2025 20:05

Peekaboooooo · 21/07/2025 19:41

I wrote that after inspecting the whole area again yesterday and actually leaned as far over the fence as I could go to pick out the few remaining leaves.

Sorry op I'm confused about the timeline, when the neighbour last complain was there ivy leaves his side of the fence (even minimal)?
If he last complained when there was still ivy his side, the neighbour might not complain again if you make sure if doesn't go through to his side any more.

Peekaboooooo · 21/07/2025 19:46

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 19:09

Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back

Just going by what the OP says here. Obviously I've no way of knowing what it looked like before and after. Presumably the neighbour was aware they'd been working at cutting the ivy back, so mentioning it again just makes him sound like a controlling dick. Also suggests won't be happy with them maintaining it so he's going to try to harass them to dig it up. Hopefully I'm wrong, it's awful living next to someone who insists on bumping into you leaving your house just to have a go at you.

Sadly, this is exactly how it's become and my reason for this post. The persistence of him asking us when we've already cut it back (plus, now done extra too) feels unjustified to him being arsey

OP posts:
Peekaboooooo · 21/07/2025 19:41

Juniperberry55 · 21/07/2025 19:21

Peekaboooooo · Yesterday 20:13
So now we've given the ivy a good cut back on our side and I've checked it's all OK on their side, what do we do now if they say anything more or are rude to us again? C

Peekaboooooo · Yesterday 20:26
Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back.
@hididdlyho

From the first comment yesterday they are saying they've now cut it back further and it's now okay on the neighbours side (on the first post the ivy was popping through- day before yesterday) so it sounds like they hacked it back but not enough that it wasn't going through the fence, then hacked it back further yesterday, so there was no more ivy popping through the fence as of yesterday and the neighbour had complained about it the day before yesterday (before the second hack back) and op is worried they complain again
Well if they're complaining when it's not on their side, then they are being unreasonable like your neighbour but if they stop complaining when op keeps it cut back and it's no longer going through the fence, then problem solved. Op just needs to prevent it going through which is easier than the neighbours trying to cut it back behind shrubs

Edited

I wrote that after inspecting the whole area again yesterday and actually leaned as far over the fence as I could go to pick out the few remaining leaves.

OP posts:
Peekaboooooo · 21/07/2025 19:32

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 14:56

Where does it say the OP planted the ivy? Maybe it was already there when she moved into the house. She's clarified that it's not anywhere near anyone's house or brickwork, so the only thing it's going to potentially destroy is the fence which she owns!

That's right. We didn't plant the ivy, it was already there went we bought the house.

OP posts:
Juniperberry55 · 21/07/2025 19:21

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 19:09

Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back

Just going by what the OP says here. Obviously I've no way of knowing what it looked like before and after. Presumably the neighbour was aware they'd been working at cutting the ivy back, so mentioning it again just makes him sound like a controlling dick. Also suggests won't be happy with them maintaining it so he's going to try to harass them to dig it up. Hopefully I'm wrong, it's awful living next to someone who insists on bumping into you leaving your house just to have a go at you.

Peekaboooooo · Yesterday 20:13
So now we've given the ivy a good cut back on our side and I've checked it's all OK on their side, what do we do now if they say anything more or are rude to us again? C

Peekaboooooo · Yesterday 20:26
Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back.
@hididdlyho

From the first comment yesterday they are saying they've now cut it back further and it's now okay on the neighbours side (on the first post the ivy was popping through- day before yesterday) so it sounds like they hacked it back but not enough that it wasn't going through the fence, then hacked it back further yesterday, so there was no more ivy popping through the fence as of yesterday and the neighbour had complained about it the day before yesterday (before the second hack back) and op is worried they complain again
Well if they're complaining when it's not on their side, then they are being unreasonable like your neighbour but if they stop complaining when op keeps it cut back and it's no longer going through the fence, then problem solved. Op just needs to prevent it going through which is easier than the neighbours trying to cut it back behind shrubs

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 19:09

Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back

Just going by what the OP says here. Obviously I've no way of knowing what it looked like before and after. Presumably the neighbour was aware they'd been working at cutting the ivy back, so mentioning it again just makes him sound like a controlling dick. Also suggests won't be happy with them maintaining it so he's going to try to harass them to dig it up. Hopefully I'm wrong, it's awful living next to someone who insists on bumping into you leaving your house just to have a go at you.

Juniperberry55 · 21/07/2025 18:59

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 18:42

Reread the OP's last post, neighbour was still having a go at her after they'd cut the ivy. In other words, having a strop because she refused to pull it all up to suit him. He's sounds like an ass who'll always find something to complain about. He's probably also frustrated about having to deal with weeds growing from the other neighbour, but that isn't the OP's problem. My neighbour is the same and has always bitched to me about other gardens which back on to her's and how they don't maintain them to her liking. She can't pop her head over the hedge to have a moan at them because it's too high, so I get it in the neck, despite the fact I'm out working in my garden every week. Even her son who lives with her won't help her out unless she pays him, because she's equally shitty towards him! Some people are never happy.

It may be me reading it wrong but when I've read the last 2 posts by op it sounds like she cut the ivy down yesterday and they complained at her the day before that (so when the ivy was still poking through the fence) if the neighbours carry on complaining if op ensures it no longer goes into their garden where it effects them, then yes they are unreasonable.
It also sounds like they've been okay neighbours for the last few years, so it this is the hill the op is willing to die on then so be it. But personally if be either stopping it from growing through the fence or growing an invasive plant away from the border and growing it up something else where it doesn't impact on anyone else.
Your neighbour seems to just b complaining about other people's standards that wouldn't impact on her if she wasn't being nosey and looking over hedges or fences, she can reasonably be told to mind her own business as it isn't inconveniencing her if someone hasn't cut back their lavender for a few years etc
Personally I have a neighbour who has a few bushes and trees I try to trim back from my side a couple times a year, but it doesn't take over my garden so it doesn't bother me, I will need a tree surgeon over the next year to cut back some of the taller overhanging branches and will probably pop a message to him to check it he would like any trimming down his side while I've got the tree surgeon in. But if he started growing bamboo or ivy I wouldn't be overly happy if it was coming through my side because that is a constant maintenance issue and I don't fancy it popping up everywhere or attacking my shed and I don't want to be out every few weeks hacking it down

hididdlyho · 21/07/2025 18:42

Juniperberry55 · 21/07/2025 16:23

The op admits there were leaves on the neighbours side of the fence, so I would imagine that was a photo taken post hacking

Reread the OP's last post, neighbour was still having a go at her after they'd cut the ivy. In other words, having a strop because she refused to pull it all up to suit him. He's sounds like an ass who'll always find something to complain about. He's probably also frustrated about having to deal with weeds growing from the other neighbour, but that isn't the OP's problem. My neighbour is the same and has always bitched to me about other gardens which back on to her's and how they don't maintain them to her liking. She can't pop her head over the hedge to have a moan at them because it's too high, so I get it in the neck, despite the fact I'm out working in my garden every week. Even her son who lives with her won't help her out unless she pays him, because she's equally shitty towards him! Some people are never happy.

Jorge14 · 21/07/2025 17:47

We love our neighbours and live in harmony but their plants coming over my fence drive me mad. Ivy comes over but it’s only on my fence and I cut it back myself, that is fine. They have really thorny plants that when land on my grass we tread on it (yes sometimes we are in bare feet but should be able to do that if we want) and their plants in front garden have grown so far out it’s actually hindered us getting out of the door and I don’t think it’s my job to cut it back. So whilst I think they are over reacting to a bit of Ivy I can see why it’s annoying if they have to deal with your foliage.