Husband got v close to school mum

I don’t think the meet ups are happening anymore but when they did they would be with her preschool toddler, not with the children we have that go to school together. He invited her to our house for a ‘play date’ with just the toddler when we don’t have any other children. That seemed particularly weird.

I personally would not accept an invitation to hang out alone with someones husband.

I personally would not accept an invitation to hang out alone with someones husband.

I can't believe anyone is this thick Maybe just cruel.

My friend was the female in this. They were having an affair, got caught and going to school for all involved was awful.

I can't believe anyone is this thick Maybe just cruel.

If this friend was male would you have a problem?

E.g. a male who came round for a play date with the younger child.

Lots of women have super close friendships.

And if you would be ok if this person was male and not females it comes down to whether you trust your husband. Do you?

I had a close friendship with a male. I helped him with MH problems. It was a bit intense at times as he was quite needy but there was no way in a million years I'd want a relationship with him! We stopped being friends partly because his wife decided something was going on, and partly because he had a character trait that I massively disliked and found hard to overlook.

If you don't trust your husband then you dont have much of a relationship.

I think you need to be prepared that this is ab Affair ,Sneaking off to the woods,cosy chats.Its all a bit convenient .I would start to make plans to leave .You are being cuckolded

I don’t think the meet ups are happening anymore but when they did they would be with her preschool toddler, not with the children we have that go to school together. He invited her to our house for a ‘play date’ with just the toddler when we don’t have any other children. That seemed particularly weird.

I worked at the same office as my husband for a short time and walking onto his office floor one day to go for lunch to hear the tone of his deep voice and a loud female laughing her head clean OFF at whatever he’d just said . As I appeared round the corner out of the entranceway, I didn’t even make it close enough to his desks (huge huge office floor)to have seen who it was and he’d shot across the office to meet me before I got there. It as obvious even he’d realised she was flirting with him by his reaction to seeing me and I immediately said - wtf was that. Absolutely not. Everyone knew I worked in the legal team at the company so she knew he was married. He said “she’s with someone and has been for years, she has kids” etc. I told him nope, do NOT lie to me and say even the way she was laughing at you there wasn’t a desperate attempt for attention - I don’t care if she’s with someone - we both know that doesn’t matter to some people. Does she try to sit next to you to save you a desk next to her? He said yes. I said 100% done. Do not sit next to her at work. (It’s a huge office/team and they all hot desk) Do not go for coffees or lunch or pop downstairs with just her for the “freebies” we get at work, do not go for lunchtime walks with her. You’re not talking about or listening to her problems or how you’re doing. There’s are 20 men of various ages or secure married women you could do all of the above with and she can speak to the many women her age in your team - I am not having an insecure woman mooning over my husband (he’s handsome, intelligent and has a lovely positive personality - it’s why I married him!) and him subtly entertaining it, then coming shocked to me WHEN (not if) she throws herself at him on a staff night or the Christmas party. Nope. I am similarly someone who because I’m quite bubbly and positive I ALWAYS get someone mooning at me because I’m nice (no one on ones purposefully by me!) and they always pounce at the Christmas do and I have to leave so I know the signs myself….!

I was shortly leaving the company and working hundreds of miles away and had to make my feelings clear! I think it helped that I’d worked there for 4.5 years, was well liked and everyone knew when he started he was my husband e.g. they’d see him a mile off if he over stepped and tell me about it as I had good friends working there across a lot of teams, including the senior team! You’re in a similar situation if other mums will also tell you.

Regardless of my leaving or knowing people, he immediately agreed with what I said. Agreed she did probably have a little crush on him and after that he avoided her entirely.

People can have friends of the opposite sex, but we all know when there’s a hint of something more. I’m afraid if he seems to be entertaining it - ultimatum is the only way. He has no reason to even speak to this woman due to work or your children. Zero tolerance.

Just read your update... You pay all the bills. He's Working part time two days a week... and does nothing in the house/ with kids beyond school pick ups where he hangs out with his new friend? And now he's chucked you out of the bedroom on to the sofa whilst he ignores you for objecting to this over the top "friendship" ....
This is too much LDFem

Grow a backbone OP. Whether he is having an affair or not his treatment of you is not acceptable.

He cooked all the time when we met but 5 years ago we moved house and somehow it turned into my job to do every night. He said he’d been doing it and now it was my turn and if I didn’t cook, no one would eat. He used to help around the house a bit but that finished about 4 years ago. I am probably really naive seeing some of the responses here but I hadn’t quite appreciated that other women wouldn’t be doing it all too. I’ve just been sleepwalking through life, clearly!

I think talking to her about it would only make me look like the stereotypical crazy wife, and she theoretically owes me nothing - we were friends briefly but that swiftly turned into them being friends without me. As much as I think she must have questioned the appropriateness of their friendship, and perhaps even had/has other motives, I think it’s my husband who owes me the respect and reassurances.