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Original poster

Is this acceptable?

44 replies

Burtrix7 · 19/07/2025 18:15

A quick query to settle an argument. Is it ok to say your 9 year old child is acting like a knob when he is in earshot?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
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whynotmereally · 20/07/2025 04:59

No it’s not. If you have a problem with your child’s behaviour you need to manage it with the child. If you need to vent about your child you do it out of earshot

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 20/07/2025 03:37

If that’s the accepted language of the house and it was said in a joking fashion. Depends on the context & the type of relationship they have. My daughter would laugh and call me a knob if I ever act like one. I wouldn’t call her one in an aggressive tone or if I was upset/disappointed by her. Never. Only ever when we’re being lighthearted.

Velmy · 20/07/2025 03:28

It's ok, as long as you don't mind them repeating it.

savethatkitty · 20/07/2025 03:19

Even though it was true, my DH has never really forgiven me for calling our children spoilt, selfish arseholes.

Apparently, I'm not allowed to speak negatively about them.

FYI - children are now young adults. Husband calls them bitches etc all the time & that's OK..

becausewecancan · 20/07/2025 03:08

I wouldn't use that language in front of a child, because I wouldn't want them repeating it. It's a disgusting word. Aside from that, addressing the behaviour directly to the child would be better than talking about them in their hearing.

catbathat · 20/07/2025 02:31

I do not like slang words for female genitalia being used as an insult. I think it is mysogenistic. By the same token the I don't think people should compared to make genitals.

UnWilly · 19/07/2025 23:56

It's not ideal...

Would the child understand the nuance of 'You're a knob' v "You're acting like a knob'

Gettingamixedresponse · 19/07/2025 23:46

No not ok

Muffsies · 19/07/2025 23:29

Hatty65 · 19/07/2025 19:24

Yep. Our only house rule was 'don't be a knob'.

It covered everything. Just don't behave like a knob and we'll all get along fine.

Now imagine yourself being called a knob. Now imagine hearing one of your parents telling the other they think you're a knob. Different.

landlordhell · 19/07/2025 22:20

I8toys · 19/07/2025 18:55

I'd be okay with it. If they heard I'd explain why. Our family motto is don't be a dick .....and our kids are respectful, intelligent, articulate human beings,

Woah. .

landlordhell · 19/07/2025 22:15

No I wouldn’t let my child hear me saying that.

MatriarchCaz · 19/07/2025 22:13

Told my 7 year old grandson he was being an ass earlier - he was! His response? He laughed and said nanny said a naughty word.

LittlleMy · 19/07/2025 19:57

JaneEyre40 · 19/07/2025 19:26

Who the hell is voting that this is ok?! That's the kind of shit that kids remember!

Right?!

Personally, I don’t think it’s okay to name call at all (especially not names with such connotations usually reserved for adults). But that’s just me!

JaneEyre40 · 19/07/2025 19:26

Who the hell is voting that this is ok?! That's the kind of shit that kids remember!

Hatty65 · 19/07/2025 19:24

Yep. Our only house rule was 'don't be a knob'.

It covered everything. Just don't behave like a knob and we'll all get along fine.

LimeQuoter · 19/07/2025 19:23

Not really, no

BCBird · 19/07/2025 19:11

This is not suitable language to use about a child when they are in earshot.

ntmdino · 19/07/2025 19:03

Totally. Believe me, said 9yr old uses far more colourful language than that at school.

Vodkamartini3olives · 19/07/2025 19:00

I wouldn't be bothered by it.. I've told my kids to quit being a jerk when they're being a jerk.

Newnamehiwhodis · 19/07/2025 18:58

Talking about someone where they can hear in order to influence their behavior is absolute shit no matter what age they are.
it’s passive aggressive. Just talk TO your kid ffs

I8toys · 19/07/2025 18:55

I'd be okay with it. If they heard I'd explain why. Our family motto is don't be a dick .....and our kids are respectful, intelligent, articulate human beings,

DoAWheelie · 19/07/2025 18:53

It's not the end of the world if it was said and he happened to overhear. But I'd never say something deliberately to them and would try not to use language like that while they are around.

Barney16 · 19/07/2025 18:53

I would be saying it in my head. My mouth would be saying something more gentle.

Monvelo · 19/07/2025 18:53

I wouldn't use that word when my child was in earshot, no.

Muffsies · 19/07/2025 18:51

I think it's ok to say, "don't act like a knob". Its not so nice to say someone is a knob to their face, and be telling someone else you think they are a knob in a way they can be heard could be quite upsetting. It's humiliating.

I'm not in anyway offended by the word knob, if you substitute it for stupid, or bad, or idiot, or silly, it could still be offensive depending on the way it's delivered. Humiliation is actually one of the worst of all the negative human emotions, it sticks with us.