If you are married to an orthopaedic surgeon (not private practice), how well off do you feel as a family, if you don’t work yourself?

Bloody hell - I'd give my right arm to live of £110k and i have 2 DC! And I'm the sole earner as I'm a single parent... madness!

Yeah, this is what I was trying to say. OP husband needs to work private, if he wants to make more money.

This is why nurses are coming from other countries, also teacher recruitment/retainment is another mess. But, unfortunately everyone knew what the salaries were before they trained.

This..what on earth am I reading? People do realise that most nurses/teachers earn nothing like these figures.

There’s nothing at all wrong with being a SAHM, it’s just that for most people it doesn’t come with a luxuriously high standard of living.

I'm a SAHM and have been since our kids were born. My DH earns significantly more than twice your DH's salary, we live in an expensive area but we're pretty happy. However, I'm not into a luxury lifestyle. If I wanted things like an overseas holiday or two every year, designer handbags and clothes and beauty treatments we'd have a hard time affording that sort of lifestyle with kids (we would probably have been fine before kids). We have two cars, we replaced the 16 year old one last year. Other car is 8 years old and we're hoping it will last another 8. We could afford to replace if we wanted or needed to, but it will hit the money we have saved for kids' uni.

Your DH is currently in a marginal tax bracket where take home pay is hit hard. It makes more sense to push salary above 100K into pensions until you start to hit the high 130Ks. (This assumes you're married, if not this may not be a good plan). So you shouldn't expect to see much improvement in day to day income from his career. This is pretty much it. Even as his salary goes up, it's not going to affect your immediate spending power much (could help make retirement much nicer, though).

If your priority is having a luxurious lifestyle, I don't think you have the income to do that with kids and you out of the workforce, unless you have a lot of capital/investments behind you to bolster your DH's salary.

My friend works for a private dentist he and and a colleague work evenings doing cosmetic dentistry. She's happy with the extra money but it's a long day for all.

I don't think you get rich working shorter hours.

You’re very brave admitting that on here where women aren’t allowed to be SAHMs 😂

I’m with you though - I do work but only very part time, thanks to my DH earning enough to pay the bills.

Just buy a calculator & work it out. 😃

I literally said its good Dentists earn a lot, its a pity Doctors don't. OP's husband refuses to do private work. He needs to do private to match the income!

No hate from me whatsoever. More shocking for me was a Doctor refusing to do private work!

lol to you too! So what if a dentist earns more than a surgeon!? Thd DH could earn more if he did private work like the dentists. This is what the op thought he could do but he’s wedded to NHS. Many surgeons do both but of course many dentists do no NHS work at all. She’s married to someone who could easily earn what a private dentist does!

Also @user1471556443 said: “I am a dentist and am so tired of this line continuously being trotted out by ignorant people that dentists are earning a fortune? A small proportion of dentists are, but majority are not earning a fortune at all”

All I said it as good dentists are making a lot, OP should have married one.. It was a sarcastic comment lol

Also OP husband is against private work, which is where the money is at.

I’m not begrudging, if you saw my previous post - I told OP she should have married a dentist because that’s where the money is at. Doctors don’t make as much money. Nowhere did I say they don’t deserve the money or are greedy. I just said they make a lot which is true. If you want a rich good lifestyle, marry a dentist. Then comfortable.

@LurkThenPost Could you be a dentist? No? So don’t begrudge money going to those who can do it! They have aspired to earn more than you and have managed it. They pay more tax too. Why are we so against people earning good money? It’s pure jealousy. So what if they have a great business that makes money. They probably employ people too. And they pay tax. It’s utterly ridiculous to keep complaining about high earners. They pay more income tax than all the 20% group! You NEED their taxes.

@LookingAtMyBhunas Prime Ministers don't have to live on their salaries. They get all kinds of freebies, and when their time in office is over, they earn a fortune through speaking engagements.

Are you NHS or private? I’m seeing A LOT of private dentists on Instagram, they’re making a lot of money by the looks of it. Especially in London. Have a look on Instagram if you don’t believe me.

@crazeekat What a nasty series of posts. Some women don’t necessarily want to keep slogging into work and do everything else in the home and look after dc. You are entitled to do what you want of course.

I’m not sure £110,000 is enough in some areas either! In some places it would be. Depends on mortgage and outgoings.

Women should not be told by other women that they are not allowed to be a SAHM because women are jealous. That’s what it amounts to. And why cannot better off people have a discussion about what they would like to do? It’s just unacceptable to have this amount of bile levelled at the op. I didn’t go back to work after DD2. So what? I was run ragged after DD1 and working as well and DH ran his own business. He didn’t have the time to share any childcare so I did it all with paid childcare. It made sense for us and I didn’t care what anyone else thought. And yes, DH earned a lot!

Nor was I the only one doing this at DDs school. The op has every right to say she doesn’t want to work. I did but it after DD1 but it was hard managing everything. If you aren’t in love with your career you might want to step back and maybe look at alternatives.

High earners are high earners for a reason. Others can aspire to earn more. I’m not going to spend my waking hours not talking about my situation because posters think high earners have no rights to discuss anything! Some women are just selfish and jealous. You can talk about what matters in your life. Others can talk about their thoughts too.

Given how you describe your upbringing you may look at the independent sector for schools. Taking into account extras like trips and all that comes with it then for secondary you might be looking at 40k each. Assuming two children the school fees aren’t that much off the net income of a consultant. That takes no account of mortgage or general. I hate to say it but for the life you seem to want you should have looked towards a DP in finance rather than medicine. That said if your upbringing was particularly comfortable you may have a trust fund or access to other financial vehicles that will cover property and school fees etc in which his salary be purely disposable income so we would need to know more about your overall financial position. Without sounding unkind, if you don’t bring bags of money and are already looking at him to be the sole earner what pvecisely do you bring to the table?

Well the moral of this thread is if you want to live well don't have children 😂

@ilovesooty @Yunall Wanting to look after your own children isn't being spoilt. You can still have a nice lifestyle provided you don't waste money on things like private schooling.

This. I cannot even imagine 110k a year. That's SO much. We have 2 kids and manage on less than half that in the East.

What planet is the OP on and others??!!

Just wow. You sound ridiculously spoilt and entitled.

@notanormalday no they don’t get paid the same at all. NHS consultants get paid a standardised salary which increases over time, but isn’t insanely lucrative (based on the times we live in). Many make their additional money from private practice or having additional external responsibilities or consultancy. GPs Partners own their own business and their income is subject to the profitability of their practice - they are entirely private enterprises and not subject to standardised pay. Many earn roughly the same as a consultant (and many in these challenging times, less) but some do extremely well -
particularly if they have additional responsibilities on top of their partnership salary.

I am a dentist and am so tired of this line continuously being trotted out by ignorant people that dentists are earning a fortune?
A small proportion of dentists are, but majority are not earning a fortune at all