Fat bias exists

You called yourself fat, but would you have been happy if someone else called you fat? I thought it was offensive to refer to someone as fat 🤷‍♀️

Try being fat and old....

You know that loads of people carry their shit around with them, one way or another? For me it’s food, others exercise to the extreme, take drugs, drink too much, buy designer fashions they can’t afford…… I care very much about myself. But life has been hard and I struggle.

YANBU

I've been a size 16 and a size 8

The difference in behavior from others was shocking at both sizes

@Ernestina123 If I was employing someone as a receptionist I would discriminate based on appearance.

My friend was once unsuccessful in a job application. A few days later they got a call offering them the job after all . The manager told them the reason they were not appointed originally was because the person who got the job, but who then turned it down, was 'far more attractive'. There were no words then, but I can now think of a few: disgusting, shallow, and if not actually discriminatory - then prejudicial.

I think most people know that stereotypes aren't true and that they should try to get past them. I don't assume that most people are too stupid to understand that.

LIf you're going to sit there and say "that's the easiest and most immediate way to think so I'll do it and I won't bother to try harder or be kinder", you're just another person giving in to an impulse that you could resist with a bit of effort, aren't you?

People tend to think that if someone is morbidly obese they don’t care about themselves, so why would they be a good employee?

You’ve proven you can lose weight, so you’ve kind of proven those people had a valid point if they thought you couldn’t be bothered previously…

Wait until you hit 50 and start experiencing ageism. That was the largest demographic disappearing from the workforce after Covid.

Indeed. Work has definitely made me overweight over the years. I put a stone and a half on as a trainee solicitor. Managed to lose it before I got married after I qualified. Then put weight on in pregnancy. Lost most of the baby weight on mat leave and got down to a nice healthy weight. Then when I came back I went through a horrible stressful time in a new job that was a poor fit. Put a stone back on with stress and unhappiness, and then another half a stone. Got just about back to normal BMI before I got pregnant DD2. Then after having her I've been BMI 27-29 for 16 years, losing the same stone and putting it back on again most years apart from one time I went up into the obese range. But in lockdown I got down to BMI 25 briefly - put it back on again and I've just got back from.BMI 29 to 25 on mounjaro. A lot of it is work stress and busyness related. Determined this time to never put myself/my health on the back burner again and not to put all the weight back on (losing a bit more first). But I think when I retire I'll be like a whippet! I naturally want to be active and eat lovely healthy food and work/life sometimes gets in the way of that. Less so with my job now and now DDs are grown or nearly.

Bias against large people does exist and it’s appalling. @ExquisiteSocialSkills

I wonder if this explains my situation
I'm talll 5*11) and feel invisible , eg ignored in groups, overlooked at counters when waiting to be served.
It's been such a common occurrence that I've learnt to be pushy to make sure I get seen and served.

It's actually so ridiculous as I'm usually the tallest woman and sometimes person in any room, oow can they not see me??

I am really surprised that people would treat you so differently in this case as size 16 isn't that big or at all unusual (I think it is the average size for a woman in the UK).

Of course it doesn't always affect your ability to do a job but I wouldn't want someone who smoked working on my reception. Customers/visitors would smell it a mile off. It's not just about ability to do the job, it's about visitor perception.

If you work in a call centre and have a good way with customers nobody cares how you look or if you smoke.

And if you work as cabin crew on a plane it's about looking good but also not being too big to fit down an aisle easily. So there can be practical concerns as well.

I think the issue is not only about potential health problems, but how someone very fat lacks self control and the discipline to take care of their health.
It shows (rightly or wrongly) a 'can't be bothered' mindset.

The bit I don't understand is why people think size should affect intelligence. I have been very slim and bigger (although not huge) at various times. I remember telling people my educational qualifications when I was big and getting surprised responses, even raised eyebrows. That doesn't happen when I'm slim. I've even tested people's responses on purpose when I started realising this is a 'thing' and there's no doubt it happens.

It's because people believe that no one would want to be fat so barring obvious physical ailments, it is lazy to not do something about it and lose the weight.

It's honest and although people on here will say they don't think like that, most do.

And to pick up on another point, of course weight loss is down to willpower. What else is it down to? You eat less and exercise more. Easy to say (type), much less easy to do.

The reason weight drugs work is precisely because you don't need willpower, you just need to take the drugs.

It’s naive to think that it doesn’t exist. Course it does.

Size 20-22 obviously is overweight, but unless you're quite short, it really isn't so big that you'd stand out

You might not stand out as such but there's no denying that a size 20-22 is really big.

Cool, so then all smokers should be forced to declare it as they too lack willpower.

You can have a vice that you can't shake still be good at your job.

2 years ago I would have disagreed. I have lost 6 stone in that time, now I am no longer obese or overweight, I have noticed peoples attitudes to me have changed.

Well done on your weight loss!

You hardly hear an accent on BBC that isn’t Scottish or Welsh? Absolute rubbish!

Fat biased is all there. I’ve been slim, obese and now I’m over weight, and I can without a shadow of a doubt tell you that I have more opportunities, friendships, people would talk to me, involve me in stuff when I’m slim, even overweight, but as soon as I was obese I simply just disappeared. Now I’m losing weight again all of a sudden I seem to exist again

Are you quite sure most people think that, though? Isn’t it just “ toe the line in public and think what you want in private”?

It does exist- for various reasons.

some people don’t want to become obese and many are afraid of it - so distance themselves. It is crap but true.

they think you would tempt them with food and treats and make it harder for them to resist and stick to their plan

other people may just not want to share a small place with someone who is bigger and take up more of the allotted area / assume over weight means other unpleasant things such as body odor

others may feel it is a sign someone is lazy etc

it is crap, but it does happen.