DH wants to take the babysitter to the beach

I misread post - apologies

Well I voted YABU. Children and the beach are hard work ! We live near the beach.hot weather and its packed to the gills.literally .if DC run off an extra pair of eyed is massively helpful.

I misread post - apologies

Where does the OP say that?

I did! Where did I get male teenager from? Lol

I think you've misread the post. The OP said she is worried about the teenager running around the beach in a cute swimsuit, whilst the OP by comparison isn't looking her best due to illness

I misread post - apologies

But I do think it's worrying that you are implying your H has some sort of sexual interest in the teenage babysitter.

This.

Beaches can be full on.

Equipment- are you just bringing towels, or will you be bringing chairs, a cooler, windbreak, bat and ball, buckets and spades etc?

Will your kids like to stick together or is one likely to want to swim whilst another prefers to make sandcastles and another prefers to go rock pooling or looking for shells?

How large is the beach and how long is the trek to the loos/ice cream van?

Will you be up for aforesaid playing/swimming/trekking/carrying equipment or would you be more up for staying in one place, arranging picnic items and applying suncream, possibly having a bit of a swim or joining in making a sandcastle followed by a period of relaxing with a book?

If the latter, then the babysitter suggestion is a good one.

Teenager is male

The op felt conscious about her being in a bikini as the babysitter is a teenage boy.

How reasonable it is depends on a few things:

• The extent of your health issues and what you’re actually able to do. Even if you can’t run around are you still able to walk the kids to the loo/cafe, sit on the sand and play with them, deal with tantrums etc. If you’re able to do everything except run around then you probably don’t need an extra adult to help. If he’ll need to do most of the parenting whilst you sit in a deck chair I can see why it would be safer and more enjoyable to have an extra pair of hands.
• The ages of the children and their behaviour/level of independence. Do they mostly follow instructions and play sensibly? Or are they prone to running off, doing silly things or need a lot of adult supervision? I have a 3 year old who loves danger and there’s no way I could keep him safe if I was also trying to manage other kids at the beach.

The one thing I would mention (like everyone else) is your concerns about her being in a swimsuit. Is this just your own insecurities (because the beach is going to be full of other people in swimsuits and some will inevitably look better than you) or is your husband actually perving on your teenage babysitter?
If he’s genuinely looking at her then that’s massively creepy and disrespectful to both her and you. Obviously you shouldn’t take her to the beach, but I’d also be looking for alternative childcare- it’s not fair on her to have him gawking whilst she’s trying to work.

The teenage boy won’t be wearing a bikini

If I could afford it, I’d hire a permanent babysitter for beach days, weekday mornings wrestling children through breakfast and school run, the witching hour, shoe shopping, all of it.

What’s going to be worse though OP: not bringing her and exhausting yourself into a health setback, or bringing her and feeling unhappy about it because she’s a teenager in a swimsuit?

My daughter is a PA for several families with children with additional needs and often accompanies them on days out, including to the beach, to help out and be an extra pair of hands.

What are his health issues that he can’t look after 3 kids who go to school on a beach

tee nice to have an extra pair of hands

you obv seem threatened by this teen babysitter so time to find another one

tho doubt she has done anything to warrant losing her job

As an ex nanny I think it would be perfectly normal to take the baby sitter to the beach with you. I also think it’s often the more the merrier at the beach.

You don’t seem comfortable with her on your day out though, so don’t take her.

I guess it depends on their ages. My children are small so I wouldn’t take them to the beach unless I could confidently run after them and stop them from charging into the sea. If that’s the case for you then it sounds like it’s go with the babysitter or not at all?

Do you think you should go without the babysitter or not go? It’s not clear from your OP as you seem to suggest you need her help but you don’t want her there.

Men can’t do right for wrong here sometimes.

My prime concern OP would be space in the car……..you say yourself that the teenager “would be squeezed into the backseat with your kids”. What seating configuration does your car have? If the vehicle is a 5 seater - that being two seats in front of and 3 seats in the back (quite regular unless it’s a 7 seater SUV) then he would be breaking the law by putting too many passengers in the back seats. Not only that, he would be endangering the lives of you all in the event of an accident. What a silly man!

If she's a minor then no because then you're technically responsible for her too so if anyone gets into trouble swimming then it's all on you. Take an adult.

I wouldn’t think anything of it (but I don’t know your Dh). It sounds like a good idea.

Sounds like many issues here.
Surely if he runs for fitness, then he can keep up with the kids on the beach? 🤨 Do you think you can handle a family beach day without an extra pair of hands? Why would you automatically jump to the conclusion that he wants to see her in a swimsuit? Is he giving other creepy vibes?

No he doesn’t. It sounds like he wants some help as it might otherwise be a struggle, especially if the kids are young.

Can you please clarify @Sickofmen12 : is your husband a perv who drools over your teenage baby-sitter ? Or is it your insecurities about your own body compared to a teenagers body that is the problem? This is key information. If your husband is a perv then you shouldn't hire a teenager; safeguarding issue. If you have insecurities : stop comparing yourself to a teenager. Soon your children will be teens- are you going to compare yourself to them as well?